148 lines
4.6 KiB
Python
148 lines
4.6 KiB
Python
TITLE = ICEBALL_W_VER + " - READ THIS OR I WILL SEND YOUR PET TO THE TRASH COMPACTOR AND FEED THE MEAT TO YOUR KIDS"
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BODY = m_html(m_head(m_title(TITLE)), m_body(
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m_h1(TITLE),
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m_hr(),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("Congratulations!"),
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m_p(
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"You've just extracted Iceball from its archive into a folder somewhere! ",
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"(which I ", m_i("seriously"), " hope wasn't straight into your desktop) ",
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"What's more, you've probably double-clicked on it, wondered what the hell ",
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"was going on, and decided to ", m_i("confess your ultimate noobiness"),
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" and ", "<i>read the fu</i><tt>^H^H</tt> <i><b>fine</b> manual.</i>",
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),
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m_p(
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"So what the hell is going on, you ask? Well, if you'd simply opened Iceball ",
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"in a command line like a ", m_i("true power user,"), " you would have noticed ",
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"that you need to punch in a few ", m_i("command line arguments."),
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" Then, as a responsible power user, you'd come and read the manual as you have ",
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"no clue what key does what, and you'd be wondering how to set your name."
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),
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m_p(
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"So, power user or not, your ultimate destiny is ", m_i("this very manual.")
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),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("So what do I do?"),
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m_p(
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"Read through the Users' Guide. ",
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"You also have this sudden urge to read up on \"How to play\", ",
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"and to read it intently. "
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),
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m_p(
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"If you're a competent enough user to not use Windows or Mac OS, ",
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"you may also need to read the \"Compiling the engine\" section."
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),
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m_p(
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"If you suck at using a command line and suck at using JSON, ",
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"there are short tutorials for them. ",
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"There's also a complete specification of the JSON syntax. ",
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),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("Can you give me a TL;DR?"),
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m_p(
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"Sure. ", m_a(m_b(m_i("RTFM.")), title="READ THE FUCKING MANUAL",
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style="cursor: pointer"),
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),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("But it's too hard! Can't you just make it easier to use?"),
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m_p(
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"We need to have a barrier to entry to the level of ",
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"\"you must read the manual\". This is because there are important ",
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"things we need to communicate, most boil down to ",
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"\"don't be a stupid idiot\". "
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),
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m_p(
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"If it's too hard, either we need better documentation, ",
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"or we need a better you."
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),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("I'll just make a tool to make it really easy to..."),
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m_p(
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m_b("Don't do that."),
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),
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m_p(
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"Seriously. You're going against the design decisions we (read: I) have made.",
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"If you want to make it easier, contribute better documentation."
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),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("This game sucks because (insert reason here)"),
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m_p(
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"Iceball is Free Software. ",
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"You have the right to modify the code and assets, ",
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"provided it remains under the appropriate licence. ",
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"Furthermore, if you're talking about the game, rather than the engine, ",
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"you can just update these on your server."
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),
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m_p(
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"If you'd like your improvements to be included, ",
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"feel free to send us a patch."
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),
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m_p(
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"Note, there is a strict NO SMG POLICY. ",
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"If you don't like it, pay your $10 to Jagex and leave us alone."
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),
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#
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#
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#
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m_h2("This game is too hard! I'll just browse MPGH and..."),
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m_p(
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m_b("Hold the phone."),
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),
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m_p(
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"While I do accept that hacking is a fun, educational exercise, ",
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"I must also tell you that if you don't do the hard yards of actually ",
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m_i("developing"), " the hack, you are a bludger and bad for society. ",
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"Go read more books. Hopefully that'll stop you from being so whingy."
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),
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m_p(
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"Anyhow, my plea is this.",
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),
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m_p(
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"Please do not release your hacks publically. ",
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"Sure, you might get reputation when people go \"THANK YOU!!!!!1 YOUR THE BEST\", ",
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"but these script kiddies will, um, not be able to say ",
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"\"Hey guys, check out this hack by ←←←xXkillerXx!\". ",
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"Instead, they will downplay it as \"skill\". ",
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"These are the most whingy little kids I've ever had to deal with, ",
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"and I utterly hate dealing with them. ",
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"And once your hack is patched, ", m_i("YOU"), " will be dealing with them instead. ",
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"Algeum polak?"
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),
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m_p(
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m_b("If you release your hacks publically, we will put your IP ranges in the Git code,"
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+ " and you and some of your closest friends will be permanently banned from this game. ",
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m_i("Those people you take down will probably not be your friends anymore.")),
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),
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m_p(
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m_b("If you decide to hack this game, or if you use any public hacks, ",
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"expect to be banned from lots of servers. ",
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"There is absolutely NO warranty, ESPECIALLY if someone decides to ",
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"detect your hack and scar you for life.")
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),
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m_p(
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"While I would say \"you have been warned\", ",
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m_i("you do not ", m_b("deserve"), " to be warned."),
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" This warning is about as far as I will extend my grace."
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),
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))
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