148 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
148 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
[messages for room 34 -- rmInsideChapel
|
|
[ "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards"
|
|
[ by Al Lowe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
%message 1
|
|
"You are in a quickie marriage parlor.
|
|
A flashing neon sign on the rear wall asks:
|
|
\"Why wait? Marry the girl of your dreams, today!
|
|
You provide the girl, we'll do the rest for only $100!!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 2
|
|
"Fawn is waiting for you at the altar. Go for it, Larry!"
|
|
|
|
%message 3
|
|
"The minister intones in his basso voice..."
|
|
|
|
%message 4
|
|
"\"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together today in the sight of,
|
|
er, ah, um... each other,
|
|
to enter these two people into the eternal bonds of marriage.\""
|
|
|
|
%message 5
|
|
"\"But before we really get rollin', I'd like to say a few words.\n\n
|
|
Many's the marriage that I've performed here, in this little chapel,
|
|
wearing this cheap suit, before those shiny plastic-covered pews,
|
|
with these electric candles,
|
|
looking at those genuine plexiglas stained-glass windows,
|
|
for these measly few bucks...\""
|
|
|
|
%message 6
|
|
"(He pauses for another nip from his pocket flask.)"
|
|
|
|
%message 7
|
|
"\"Where was I?\" he hiccups."
|
|
|
|
%message 8
|
|
"\"Digressing,\" you answer."
|
|
|
|
%message 9
|
|
"\"Oh, well, have you got a ring?\" he asks."
|
|
|
|
%message 10
|
|
"\"Yep,\" you reply. \"She's wearing it.\""
|
|
|
|
%message 11
|
|
"\"Good enough for me! Have you got a hundred bucks?\""
|
|
|
|
%message 12 [ Skip to message 21, if dollars > 100
|
|
"\"Of course,\" you reply, forking over your dough."
|
|
|
|
%message 13
|
|
"\"Not me,\" you reply. \"I thought this was a temple of love!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 14
|
|
"\"Sorry, buddy, you two are SOL until you can come back here with
|
|
100 cold, hard ones!\" he says indignantly, as he pushes between you
|
|
and heads for the door."
|
|
|
|
%message 15
|
|
"Well, Larry, it looks like you're going to have to leave your new bride
|
|
waiting at the altar, while you generate a little positive cash flow!"
|
|
|
|
%message 16
|
|
"As you leave, she says, \"Hurry back, Larry, I don't know how long I
|
|
can wait before I have you!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 17
|
|
"\"By the way, Larry,\" she asks. \"What does SOL stand for?\""
|
|
|
|
%message 18
|
|
"\"Why, Sierra On-Line, I presume!\" you respond."
|
|
|
|
%message 19
|
|
"(Drum fill)"
|
|
|
|
%message 20
|
|
"\"Wait here, Fawn baby! I'll be back in a flash!!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 21
|
|
"\"Ok, close enough.
|
|
I now pronounce you man and wife, till death do you part,
|
|
or until you get tired of each other,
|
|
per the currently acceptable social standards!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 22
|
|
"\"You may kiss the bride,\" he says,
|
|
scurrying out the door to refill his flask."
|
|
|
|
%message 23
|
|
"\"Not now; that can wait,\" Fawn says with a smile.
|
|
\"I'll meet you at the Casino Hotel's honeymoon suite,
|
|
and give you a lot more than kisses, my big, strong, handsome sweetheart!!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 24
|
|
"\"Hey!\" you shout, \"Wait for me!!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 25
|
|
"Somehow this entire ceremony was less than you expected.
|
|
The sacred bonds of marriage certainly get tied loosely in this joint!"
|
|
|
|
%message 26
|
|
"It's customary to position yourself to the bride's right."
|
|
|
|
%message 27
|
|
"\"So... shall we try again?\""
|
|
|
|
%message 28
|
|
"You can't see through the \"stained glass\" windows.
|
|
They're fake, like everything else about this place."
|
|
|
|
%message 29
|
|
"Seems like everything here is covered in plastic."
|
|
|
|
%message 30
|
|
"The plastic covers are so slick, you'd probably slide right off."
|
|
|
|
%message 31
|
|
"Perhaps you should find a mate, mate!"
|
|
|
|
%message 32
|
|
"You can barely tell they're made from pressed sawdust."
|
|
|
|
%message 33
|
|
"Who'd want them?"
|
|
|
|
%message 34
|
|
"He looks a lot like his brother,
|
|
the bad comedian in the Lizard Lounge."
|
|
|
|
%message 35
|
|
"\"Make up your mind, son. Time is money!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 36
|
|
"\"Don't stand around talking, Larry,\" says Fawn. \"Let's get married!!\""
|
|
|
|
%message 37
|
|
"What an old romantic!"
|
|
|
|
%message 38
|
|
"You wonder why Michelangelo didn't use dropped fluorescents on
|
|
his big ceiling job."
|
|
|
|
%message 39
|
|
"It's not your birthday!"
|
|
|