434 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
434 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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.FUNCT JOES-BAR-F,RARG
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EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE
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PRINTI "An undistinguished bar, yet the social center of Upper Sandusky. The front door is almost lost amidst the hazy maze of neon that shrouds the grimy glass of the south wall. "
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PRINT DOORS-MARKED
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT BAR-DOOR-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER \?ELS5
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CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH
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RSTACK
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN \?ELS7
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PRINTR "It's a swinging door."
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?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \FALSE
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CALL PERFORM-PRSA,WINDOW
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT BAR-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?EXIT,V?LEAVE \?ELS5
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CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH
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RSTACK
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?WALK-TO,V?ENTER \?ELS7
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PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS9
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CALL V-LOOK
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RSTACK
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?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \FALSE
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PRINT NOTHING-NEW
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT JOE-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL /?THN6
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?ASK-FOR \?ELS5
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EQUAL? PRSI,BEER \?ELS5
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?THN6: PRINTI """You've had enough."""
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CRLF
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CALL STOP
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RSTACK
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
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PRINTR "Joe is bartending."
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.FUNCT BEER-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?BUY \FALSE
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \FALSE
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PRINTI "The bartender"
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CALL RUNNING?,I-URGE
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ZERO? STACK /?CND8
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PRINTI ", a keen judge of bladders,"
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?CND8: PRINTI " says, "
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CALL PERFORM,V?TELL,JOE
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT GARMENT-F
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CALL WRONG-SEX-WORD,GARMENT,W?LOINCLOTH,W?BIKINI
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ZERO? STACK /?ELS5
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CALL STOP
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RSTACK
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS7
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FSET? CELL,TOUCHBIT \?ELS7
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PRINTI "The "
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CALL DPRINT,GARMENT
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PRINTR ", tight but comfy, covers only the ""bare essentials."""
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?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS11
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PRINTI "1. You
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2. A "
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CALL DPRINT,COMIC-BOOK
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CRLF
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RTRUE
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?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE-OFF /?THN14
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \FALSE
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ZERO? GONE-APE /FALSE
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?THN14: PRINTI "But"
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CALL TPRINT,GARMENT
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FSET? GARMENT,PLURALBIT \?ELS20
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PRINTI " are"
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JUMP ?CND18
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?ELS20: PRINTI " is"
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?CND18: PRINTR " so becoming!"
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.FUNCT POCKET-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS5
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PRINTI "There's"
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CALL APRINT,COMIC-BOOK
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PRINTR " there."
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \FALSE
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EQUAL? PRSI,POCKET \FALSE
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PRINTI "There's no room. "
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CALL PERFORM,V?LOOK-INSIDE,POCKET
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT COMIC-BOOK-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?BURN,V?TAKE,V?REMOVE \?ELS5
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EQUAL? PRSO,COMIC-BOOK \?ELS5
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PRINTI "You change your mind and"
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PRINT STICK-IT-IN-POCKET
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PRINTR " instead."
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?OPEN,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?READ \FALSE
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FSET? CELL,TOUCHBIT \?ELS12
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PRINTI """Hello, Prisoner!
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You are a captive of "
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PRINTD LGOP
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PRINTI ". As an experimental subject, your unspeakably painful death will help our effort to enslave humanity and turn the Earth into our private pleasure world. Consider this to be a great honor, human.""
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The remainder of the book covers the exacting rules of behavior expected of a prisoner of "
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PRINTD LGOP
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PRINTI ". For example, it mentions that escapees will be killed immediately and painfully by crack Leckbandi guards."
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JUMP ?CND10
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?ELS12: CALL IN-YOUR-PACKAGE,STR?205
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?CND10: PRINTI " After reading it, you"
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PRINT STICK-IT-IN-POCKET
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PRINT PERIOD-CR
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT FLASHLIGHT-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?OPEN \?ELS5
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PRINTI "The "
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PRINTD FLASHLIGHT
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PRINTR " has rusted shut."
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?POINT \FALSE
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FSET? FLASHLIGHT,ONBIT \FALSE
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ZERO? PRSI /FALSE
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PRINT NOTHING-NEW
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT MENS-ROOM-ENTER-F
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ZERO? SEX-CHOSEN \?ELS5
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SET 'SEX-CHOSEN,TRUE-VALUE
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SET 'MALE,TRUE-VALUE
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MOVE STOOL,MENS-ROOM
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FSET SULTANS-WIFE,FEMALEBIT
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FSET HAREM-GUARD,FEMALEBIT
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FSET YOUNG-WOMAN,FEMALEBIT
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PUTP SIDEKICK,P?SDESC,STR?207
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PUTP SIDEKICKS-BODY,P?SDESC,STR?208
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PUTP SPLATTERED-SIDEKICK,P?SDESC,STR?209
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PUTP THORBAST,P?SDESC,STR?210
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PUTP THORBAST-SWORD,P?SDESC,STR?211
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PUTP SULTAN,P?SDESC,STR?212
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PUTP YOUNG-WOMAN,P?SDESC,STR?213
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PUTP PHOTO,P?SDESC,STR?214
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PUTP HAREM,P?ODOR,STR?215
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RETURN MENS-ROOM
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?ELS5: ZERO? MALE /?ELS7
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RETURN MENS-ROOM
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?ELS7: PRINTD MENS-ROOM
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CALL WRONG-BATHROOM,STR?216
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RFALSE
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.FUNCT LADIES-ROOM-ENTER-F
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ZERO? SEX-CHOSEN \?ELS5
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SET 'SEX-CHOSEN,TRUE-VALUE
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MOVE STOOL,LADIES-ROOM
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FSET ME,FEMALEBIT
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FSET SULTAN,FEMALEBIT
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FSET SIDEKICK,FEMALEBIT
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FSET THORBAST,FEMALEBIT
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PUTP SIDEKICK,P?SDESC,STR?217
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PUTP SIDEKICKS-BODY,P?SDESC,STR?218
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PUTP SPLATTERED-SIDEKICK,P?SDESC,STR?219
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PUTP THORBAST,P?SDESC,STR?220
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PUTP THORBAST-SWORD,P?SDESC,STR?221
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PUTP SULTAN,P?SDESC,STR?222
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PUTP YOUNG-WOMAN,P?SDESC,STR?223
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PUTP PHOTO,P?SDESC,STR?224
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PUTP HAREM,P?ODOR,STR?225
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RETURN LADIES-ROOM
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?ELS5: ZERO? MALE /?ELS7
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PRINTD LADIES-ROOM
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CALL WRONG-BATHROOM,STR?226
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RFALSE
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?ELS7: RETURN LADIES-ROOM
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.FUNCT WRONG-BATHROOM,STRING
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PRINTI "
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As you enter the wrong bathroom, a "
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PRINT STRING
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PRINTI ". You hustle out.
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"
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CALL DESCRIBE-ROOM
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RSTACK
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.FUNCT BATHROOM-F,RARG
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EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5
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PRINTI "This filthy bathroom belies the existence of disinfectant. A single toilet and sink are the only fixtures. More breathable air can be found to the south"
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EQUAL? HERE,MENS-ROOM \?ELS8
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PRINTI "ea"
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JUMP ?CND6
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?ELS8: PRINTI "we"
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?CND6: PRINTI "st."
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RTRUE
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?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-SMELL \FALSE
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CALL THIS-IS-IT,PIZZA
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MOVE PIZZA,HERE
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PRINTI "You trace the smell to"
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CALL APRINT,PIZZA
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PRINTI ", crumpled in the corner. [Incidentally, we had some pretty putrid scents available, all of which would've seemed right at home in a filthy restroom. In the end, we were too kind to use them -- but we were sorely tempted!]"
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT MENS-ROOM-OBJECT-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER,V?FIND \?ELS5
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \?ELS10
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CALL DO-WALK,P?NW
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RSTACK
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?ELS10: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK-TO \?ELS14
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \?ELS19
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CALL DO-WALK,P?NW
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RSTACK
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?ELS19: EQUAL? HERE,MENS-ROOM \FALSE
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CALL V-PEE
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RSTACK
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?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \?ELS23
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EQUAL? HERE,MENS-ROOM \?ELS28
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CALL DO-WALK,P?SE
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RSTACK
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?ELS28: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS32
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EQUAL? HERE,MENS-ROOM \?ELS37
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PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS37: PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE
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RTRUE
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?ELS32: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \?ELS41
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PRINT NOTHING-NEW
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RTRUE
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?ELS41: EQUAL? PRSA,V?USE \?ELS43
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \?ELS48
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PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS48: CALL V-PEE
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RSTACK
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?ELS43: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
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PRINTR "Filthy."
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.FUNCT LADIES-ROOM-OBJECT-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER,V?FIND \?ELS5
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \?ELS10
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CALL DO-WALK,P?NE
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RSTACK
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?ELS10: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK-TO \?ELS14
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \?ELS19
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CALL DO-WALK,P?NE
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RSTACK
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?ELS19: EQUAL? HERE,LADIES-ROOM \FALSE
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CALL V-PEE
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RSTACK
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?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \?ELS23
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EQUAL? HERE,LADIES-ROOM \?ELS28
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CALL DO-WALK,P?SW
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RSTACK
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?ELS28: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS32
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EQUAL? HERE,LADIES-ROOM \?ELS37
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PRINT LOOK-AROUND
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RTRUE
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?ELS37: PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE
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RTRUE
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?ELS32: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \?ELS41
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PRINT NOTHING-NEW
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RTRUE
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?ELS41: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?USE \FALSE
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CALL PERFORM-PRSA,MENS-ROOM-OBJECT
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT GENERIC-RESTROOM-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER,V?FIND,V?WALK-TO \?ELS5
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EQUAL? HERE,JOES-BAR \?ELS5
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PRINT DOORS-MARKED
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CRLF
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RETURN NOT-HERE-OBJECT
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK-TO \?ELS9
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CALL V-PEE
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RETURN NOT-HERE-OBJECT
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?ELS9: ZERO? SEX-CHOSEN /FALSE
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ZERO? MALE /?ELS17
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RETURN MENS-ROOM-OBJECT
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?ELS17: RETURN LADIES-ROOM-OBJECT
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.FUNCT TOILET-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?USE,V?PEE-IN \?ELS5
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CALL V-PEE
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RSTACK
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE \?ELS7
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CALL NO-LID
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RSTACK
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?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FLUSH \?ELS9
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PRINTR "Probably the first fresh water to enter this john in a month."
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?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?LOOK-INSIDE \FALSE
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PRINT YECHH
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT SINK-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?LOOK-INSIDE \FALSE
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CALL PERFORM,V?EXAMINE,TOILET
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT STOOL-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS5
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FSET? STOOL,TOUCHBIT /?ELS5
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PRINTR "It's safe to take, if you receive my meaning."
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?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLIMB,V?BOARD \FALSE
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FIRST? STOOL \?ELS14
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CALL DO-FIRST,STR?228,STOOL
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RSTACK
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?ELS14: IN? PROTAGONIST,TREE-HOLE \FALSE
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MOVE PROTAGONIST,HERE
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PRINTI "Using the stool, you"
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CALL AND-SIDEKICK,HERE
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PRINTR " climb out of the hole."
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.FUNCT I-URGE
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CALL QUEUE,I-URGE,-1
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INC 'URGE-COUNTER
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PRINTI " "
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EQUAL? URGE-COUNTER,1 \?ELS5
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PRINTR "You feel an urge."
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?ELS5: EQUAL? URGE-COUNTER,2 \?ELS7
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PRINTR "You trace the urge to the region of your bladder."
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?ELS7: EQUAL? URGE-COUNTER,3 \?ELS9
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PRINTI "Though operating at far below normal speed, your mind begins to conclude that it would be best at this point to "
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EQUAL? HERE,MENS-ROOM,LADIES-ROOM \?ELS12
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PRINTI "use the"
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JUMP ?CND10
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?ELS12: PRINTI "find a"
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?CND10: PRINTR " bathroom."
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?ELS9: EQUAL? URGE-COUNTER,4 \?ELS16
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PRINTR "Even if you don't care about your clothes, imagine the embarrassment!"
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?ELS16: PRINT YOU-CANT
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PRINTI "wait another second. "
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EQUAL? HERE,MENS-ROOM,LADIES-ROOM \?ELS23
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CALL QUEUE,I-KIDNAPPING,3
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CALL DEQUEUE,I-URGE
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MOVE PROTAGONIST,HERE
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PRINTI "Fortunately, you've stumbled upon a bathroom. A moment later, you are feeling much better, although your thigh muscles are still quivering a tad."
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CALL NOTICE-PIZZA-ODOR
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RSTACK
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?ELS23: PRINTI "Without going into embarrassing detail, you've made a mess. A moment later, before even half the people in Joe's have begun tittering, a flash of green light precedes the arrival of two VERY odd patrons. They rotate their bellies to get a better look at you. As their mouth stalks open you find that, despite an evolution that occurred dozens of astronomical units from Upper Sandusky, these fellows speak in perfect midwestern English.
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""This one?""
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""A pitiful specimen ... can't even control simple bodily functions ... the tests would be worthless...""
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""Agreed. Must've been a screw-up somewhere. Let's take this one instead.""
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They grab a blonde woman, whose scream is cut short by another green flash. Three weeks later, when the Earth is invaded and everyone is enslaved by "
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PRINTD LGOP
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PRINTI ", you wonder if there was a connection."
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CRLF
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CALL FINISH
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RSTACK
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.FUNCT PIZZA-F
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EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE,V?TASTE,V?EAT \FALSE
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FSET PIZZA,TOUCHBIT
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PRINTI "The very thought is enough to make stronger "
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ZERO? MALE \?CND6
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PRINTI "wo"
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?CND6: PRINTI "men than yourself "
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ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS11
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PRINTI "become quite ill"
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JUMP ?CND9
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?ELS11: EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS13
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PRINTI "vomit"
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JUMP ?CND9
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?ELS13: PRINTI "puke their guts out"
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?CND9: PRINT PERIOD-CR
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RTRUE
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.FUNCT NOTICE-PIZZA-ODOR
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FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT /FALSE
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CALL THIS-IS-IT,ODOR
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CRLF
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PRINTR " Now that the ""crisis"" has passed, you notice a strong and familiar odor pervading the room."
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.FUNCT I-KIDNAPPING
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IN? PROTAGONIST,STOOL \?CND1
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MOVE STOOL,CELL
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?CND1: MOVE PROTAGONIST,HERE
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ZERO? MALE /?ELS6
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PUTP GARMENT,P?SDESC,STR?229
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JUMP ?CND4
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?ELS6: PUTP GARMENT,P?SDESC,STR?230
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?CND4: PUTP COMIC-BOOK,P?SDESC,STR?231
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FCLEAR GARMENT,NARTICLEBIT
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FCLEAR GARMENT,VOWELBIT
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FCLEAR GARMENT,PLURALBIT
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CALL ROB,PROTAGONIST,CELL
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MOVE GARMENT,PROTAGONIST
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MOVE COMIC-BOOK,PROTAGONIST
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CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,1,7
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ZERO? VERBOSITY /?CND10
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PRINTI " A brilliant flash of green light seems less unusual when followed by the appearance of tentacled aliens, as is the case with the current flash of green light. The tentacles wrap roughly around you as you faint.
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After an unknown amount of time... Well, let's "
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ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS15
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PRINTI "be frank"
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JUMP ?CND13
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?ELS15: PRINTI "cut the "
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EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS20
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PRINTI "crap"
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JUMP ?CND13
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?ELS20: PRINTI "bullshit"
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?CND13: PRINTI ". 7.3 hours later, you wake. Your head feels as if it's been run over by several locomotives, or at least one very large locomotive, and your clothes are now unrecognizable"
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PRINT ELLIPSIS
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?CND10: CALL GOTO,CELL
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CALL CELL-F,M-END
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RSTACK
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.ENDI
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