leathergoddesses/phobos.zap

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.FUNCT CELL-OBJECT-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK-TO,V?BOARD,V?ENTER \?ELS5
CALL ADJ-USED,A?OTHER
ZERO? STACK \?THN11
CALL ADJ-USED,A?SMALL
ZERO? STACK /?ELS10
?THN11: EQUAL? HERE,OTHER-CELL \?ELS17
PRINT LOOK-AROUND
RTRUE
?ELS17: EQUAL? HERE,END-OF-HALLWAY \?ELS19
CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH
RSTACK
?ELS19: PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE
RTRUE
?ELS10: EQUAL? HERE,CELL \?ELS23
PRINT LOOK-AROUND
RTRUE
?ELS23: EQUAL? HERE,END-OF-HALLWAY \?ELS25
CALL DO-WALK,P?NORTH
RSTACK
?ELS25: PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE
RTRUE
?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \?ELS29
CALL ADJ-USED,A?OTHER
ZERO? STACK \?THN35
CALL ADJ-USED,A?SMALL
ZERO? STACK /?ELS34
?THN35: EQUAL? HERE,OTHER-CELL \?ELS41
CALL DO-WALK,P?NORTH
RSTACK
?ELS41: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
RTRUE
?ELS34: EQUAL? HERE,CELL \?ELS45
CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH
RSTACK
?ELS45: EQUAL? HERE,OTHER-CELL \?ELS47
CALL DO-WALK,P?NORTH
RSTACK
?ELS47: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
RTRUE
?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS51
EQUAL? HERE,END-OF-HALLWAY /?ELS51
CALL V-LOOK
RSTACK
?ELS51: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS55
EQUAL? HERE,END-OF-HALLWAY \?ELS58
CALL ADJ-USED,A?OTHER
ZERO? STACK \?THN62
CALL ADJ-USED,A?SMALL
ZERO? STACK /?ELS61
?THN62: CALL PERFORM-PRSA,NARROW-CELL-DOOR
RTRUE
?ELS61: CALL PERFORM-PRSA,WIDE-CELL-DOOR
RTRUE
?ELS58: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS67
CALL V-LOOK
RTRUE
?ELS67: EQUAL? HERE,CELL \?ELS69
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,WIDE-CELL-DOOR
RTRUE
?ELS69: CALL PERFORM-PRSA,NARROW-CELL-DOOR
RTRUE
?ELS55: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS73
EQUAL? PRSI,CELL-OBJECT \?ELS73
EQUAL? HERE,END-OF-HALLWAY \?ELS80
PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE
RTRUE
?ELS80: CALL PERFORM,V?DROP,PRSO
RTRUE
?ELS73: EQUAL? HERE,END-OF-HALLWAY /FALSE
EQUAL? PRSO,CELL-OBJECT \FALSE
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,GLOBAL-ROOM,PRSI
RTRUE
.FUNCT CELL-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5
PRINTI "You are in a large cell with a soft, cushiony floor. A wide door ("
FSET? WIDE-CELL-DOOR,OPENBIT \?ELS8
PRINTI "now open"
JUMP ?CND6
?ELS8: FSET? WIDE-CELL-DOOR,TOUCHBIT \?ELS10
PRINTI "now closed"
JUMP ?CND6
?ELS10: PRINTI "closed, naturally"
?CND6: PRINTI ") forms the southern wall of the cell"
ZERO? HOLE-OPEN /?CND13
PRINTI ". A "
CALL DPRINT,HOLE
PRINTI " is lying on the ground amidst some rubble"
?CND13: PRINTI "."
RTRUE
?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \?ELS18
ZERO? TRAY-DELIVERED \?ELS18
SET 'TRAY-DELIVERED,TRUE-VALUE
MOVE TRAY,HERE
PRINTI " Someone thrusts a tray into your cell. A "
CALL DPRINT,CHOCOLATE
PRINTI " on the tray"
PRINT LOOKS-UNAPPETIZING
RTRUE
?ELS18: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE
IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \FALSE
ZERO? CELL-GRIPE \FALSE
SET 'CELL-GRIPE,TRUE-VALUE
PRINTI " ""What a great cell!"" says "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI ", looking around. ""Why didn't I get a cell like this? Maybe I shouldn't have kicked that guard "
EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS27
PRINTI "below the waist "
JUMP ?CND25
?ELS27: EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND25
PRINTI "in the nuts "
?CND25: PRINTR "when I first got here..."""
.FUNCT HOLE-ENTER-F
ZERO? HOLE-OPEN /?ELS3
PRINT YOU-CANT
PRINTI "reach the hole in the ceiling."
CRLF
RFALSE
?ELS3: PRINT CANT-GO
RFALSE
.FUNCT BLANKET-F
FSET? BLANKET,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE
EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \?ELS7
PRINTR "Small."
?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WEAR /?THN10
EQUAL? PRSA,V?WRAP \?ELS9
EQUAL? PRSI,ME \?ELS9
?THN10: PRINTR "It's too small; your jailors must have meant it to be used as a pillow."
?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD \?ELS15
CALL WASTES
RSTACK
?ELS15: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TIE \?ELS17
PRINTR "The material of the blanket is too thick to knot."
?ELS17: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE,V?REMOVE \?ELS19
IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS19
CALL PERFORM,V?REMOVE,BABY
RTRUE
?ELS19: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS23
EQUAL? PRSI,BASKET \?ELS23
IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS30
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,BABY,BASKET
RTRUE
?ELS30: IN? BABY,BASKET \FALSE
MOVE BLANKET,BASKET
MOVE BABY,PROTAGONIST
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,BABY,BASKET
RTRUE
?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?THROW,V?PUT,V?DROP \?ELS34
EQUAL? PRSO,BLANKET \?ELS34
IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS34
CALL DO-FIRST,STR?398
RSTACK
?ELS34: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS38
IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS38
CALL PERFORM,V?ALARM,BABY
RTRUE
?ELS38: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON \FALSE
EQUAL? PRSO,BLANKET \FALSE
FSET? PRSI,SURFACEBIT /FALSE
CALL WASTES
RSTACK
.FUNCT PAINTING-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
FSET? PAINTING,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE
SET 'AWAITING-REPLY,2
CALL QUEUE,I-REPLY,2
PRINTR "It's a good likeness of a pussy, but is it art?"
.FUNCT TRAY-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
FSET? TRAY,UNTEEDBIT \FALSE
PRINTR "It looks a little like Ray whatsisname from second grade."
.FUNCT CHOCOLATE-F
FSET? CHOCOLATE,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE
EQUAL? PRSA,V?EAT \?ELS7
CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,CHOCOLATE
ZERO? STACK \?CND8
PRINT YNH
PRINTR " it!"
?CND8: REMOVE CHOCOLATE
CALL QUEUE,I-UNRUSH,6
ZERO? GONE-APE /?ELS13
SET 'SUGAR-RUSH,GORILLA-ATE-CHOCOLATE
JUMP ?CND11
?ELS13: SET 'SUGAR-RUSH,HUMAN-ATE-CHOCOLATE
?CND11: PRINTI "Mmmm! "
ZERO? CHOCOLATE-IDENTIFIED /?ELS19
PRINTI "G"
JUMP ?CND17
?ELS19: PRINTI "It's a piece of really g"
?CND17: PRINTR "ood chocolate! You feel yourself getting a sugar rush."
?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS24
PRINTI "The "
CALL DPRINT,CHOCOLATE
PRINT LOOKS-UNAPPETIZING
RTRUE
?ELS24: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TASTE \?ELS26
SET 'CHOCOLATE-IDENTIFIED,TRUE-VALUE
PUTP CHOCOLATE,P?SDESC,STR?404
RFALSE
?ELS26: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \FALSE
FSET? CHOCOLATE,SMELLEDBIT /FALSE
SET 'CHOCOLATE-IDENTIFIED,TRUE-VALUE
FSET CHOCOLATE,SMELLEDBIT
PUTP CHOCOLATE,P?SDESC,STR?404
CALL SCRATCH-N-SNIFF,2
PRINTR "Luscious, creamy milk chocolate!"
.FUNCT I-UNRUSH
ZERO? GONE-APE /?ELS9
EQUAL? SUGAR-RUSH,GORILLA-ATE-CHOCOLATE /?THN6
?ELS9: ZERO? GONE-APE \?ELS5
EQUAL? SUGAR-RUSH,HUMAN-ATE-CHOCOLATE \?ELS5
?THN6: SET 'SUGAR-RUSH,FALSE-VALUE
PRINTR " You feel the sugar rush ebb."
?ELS5: SET 'SUGAR-RUSH,FALSE-VALUE
RFALSE
.FUNCT OTHER-CELL-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5
FSET? OTHER-CELL,TOUCHBIT /?ELS5
CALL THIS-IS-IT,SIDEKICK
CALL QUEUE,I-BLUEPRINT,19
ZERO? VERBOSITY /FALSE
PRINTI "As you enter, a "
ZERO? MALE \?CND11
PRINTI "wo"
?CND11: PRINTI "man sitting limply in the shadows stiffens and rises to "
CALL HIS-HER
PRINTI " feet. ""A human! They got you too? I've been here a week. When you opened the door, I figured it was a guard! Was it unlocked? I never thought of trying it. By the way, my name's "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI ". From Alaska. I'm not too bright, but I'm strong as an ox, and I'm great with my hands. Maybe we can lick these Leather Goddesses together."""
CRLF
CRLF
RTRUE
?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE
PRINTI "You are in a very tiny room with a rock-hard floor. A "
PRINTD NARROW-CELL-DOOR
PRINTI " to the north is "
CALL OPEN-CLOSED,NARROW-CELL-DOOR
PRINTI "."
RTRUE
.FUNCT NARROW-CELL-DOOR-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?KNOCK \FALSE
IN? SIDEKICK,OTHER-CELL \FALSE
PRINTR "A muffled voice responds, ""Beat it, you alien fruitcake freako mutant weirdo scum!"""
.FUNCT SIDEKICK-F,OARG=0
ZERO? OARG /?ELS5
EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE
PRINTI " "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " is here, "
CALL SIDEKICK-DESC
PRINTI "."
RTRUE
?ELS5: EQUAL? SIDEKICK,WINNER \?ELS11
EQUAL? PRSA,V?WHAT \?ELS16
CALL PERFORM,V?TELL-ABOUT,ME,PRSO
RTRUE
?ELS16: EQUAL? PRSA,V?READ \?ELS18
EQUAL? PRSO,SCRAP-OF-PAPER \?ELS18
CALL PERFORM,V?TELL-ABOUT,ME,SCRAP-OF-PAPER
RTRUE
?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?ELS22
EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS22
EQUAL? PRSI,ODD-MACHINE \?ELS29
IN? ODD-MACHINE,SALESMAN /?ELS29
PRINTR """Hmmm, tee remover. For cleaning up golf courses?"""
?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSI,SCRAP-OF-PAPER \?ELS33
PRINTR """I dunno what it means; I doodled it one night in my sleep!"""
?ELS33: EQUAL? PRSI,MATCHBOOK \?ELS35
CALL QUEUED?,I-BLUEPRINT
ZERO? STACK \?ELS35
CALL SCRAPE-UP-THESE-ITEMS
RSTACK
?ELS35: EQUAL? PRSI,LGOP \?ELS39
PRINTR """No doubt some gang of interplanetary floozies who get their jollies from enslaving defenseless planets. We'll stop 'em!"""
?ELS39: CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " shrugs. ""What do I know? I'm from Alaska,"" "
CALL HE-SHE
PRINTR " says, in a burst of insecurity that will no doubt ease in a quarter-century or so when Alaska becomes a state."
?ELS22: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK \?ELS43
PRINTR """After you!"""
?ELS43: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FOLLOW \?ELS45
EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS45
PRINTR """Lead on!"""
?ELS45: EQUAL? PRSA,V?HELLO \?ELS49
PRINTR """Hi!"""
?ELS49: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXIT,V?ENTER,V?DISEMBARK \?ELS51
EQUAL? PRSO,WINDOW \?ELS51
EQUAL? HERE,BEDROOM \?ELS51
ZERO? SIDEKICK-TRIP-FLAG /?ELS58
PRINTR """Not again!"""
?ELS58: CALL QUEUED?,I-SIDEKICK-OUT-WINDOW
ZERO? STACK /?ELS61
PRINTR """Gimme a second to get ready!"""
?ELS61: PRINTR """I'm dumb, but not that dumb!"""
?ELS51: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \?ELS65
EQUAL? PRSO,FROG \?ELS65
PRINTR """I'd sooner kiss a pig!"""
?ELS65: EQUAL? PRSA,V?RAISE \?ELS69
EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS69
LOC PROTAGONIST
EQUAL? STACK,TREE-HOLE,CLOSET \?ELS69
SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
CALL PERFORM,V?CLIMB-ON,SIDEKICK
SET 'WINNER,SIDEKICK
RTRUE
?ELS69: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS73
EQUAL? PRSO,HEADLIGHT \?ELS73
FSET? HEADLIGHT,TRYTAKEBIT \?ELS73
SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
CALL PERFORM,V?SHOW,HEADLIGHT,SIDEKICK
SET 'WINNER,SIDEKICK
RTRUE
?ELS73: EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS77
EQUAL? PRSI,ME \?ELS77
SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
CALL PERFORM,V?ASK-FOR,SIDEKICK,PRSO
SET 'WINNER,SIDEKICK
RTRUE
?ELS77: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SGIVE /FALSE
EQUAL? PRSA,V?MAKE \?ELS83
EQUAL? PRSO,ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE \?ELS83
PRINTR """Don't crowd me."""
?ELS83: CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " is "
CALL SIDEKICK-DESC
PRINTI " and fails to notice that you've spoken."
CRLF
CALL STOP
RSTACK
?ELS11: CALL WRONG-SEX-WORD,SIDEKICK,W?TRENT,W?TIFFAN
ZERO? STACK /?ELS89
CALL STOP
RSTACK
?ELS89: CALL WRONG-SEX-WORD,SIDEKICK,W?TRENT,W?TIFF
ZERO? STACK /?ELS91
CALL STOP
RSTACK
?ELS91: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS93
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " is about your age"
ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL /?CND94
PRINTI " and has a body worthy of envy: tall and well-built, with wide shoulders, "
ZERO? MALE /?ELS99
PRINTI "massive pectorals, and thick"
JUMP ?CND97
?ELS99: PRINTI "a generous bosom, slim waist, and long"
?CND97: PRINTI ", tawny legs. The only minus seems to be slightly oversized feet, but even oversized feet are a plus if you're into toe-sucking"
?CND94: PRINTI "."
FIRST? SIDEKICK \?ELS107
PRINTI " "
RFALSE
?ELS107: CRLF
RTRUE
?ELS93: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ASK-FOR \?ELS111
EQUAL? PRSO,SIDEKICK \?ELS111
CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,PRSI,SIDEKICK
ZERO? STACK /?ELS118
MOVE PRSI,PROTAGONIST
PRINTR """What's mine is yours!"""
?ELS118: PRINTI """I haven't got"
CALL APRINT,PRSI
PRINTR "!"""
?ELS111: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FOLLOW \?ELS122
EQUAL? FOLLOW-FLAG,1 \?ELS127
CALL PERFORM,V?CLIMB-DOWN,SHEET
RTRUE
?ELS127: EQUAL? FOLLOW-FLAG,2 \?ELS129
PRINT DONT-WANT-TO
RTRUE
?ELS129: EQUAL? FOLLOW-FLAG,3 \FALSE
CALL PERFORM,V?ENTER,CANAL-OBJECT
RTRUE
?ELS122: EQUAL? PRSA,V?UNTIE \?ELS133
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,SIDEKICKS-BODY
RTRUE
?ELS133: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TIE \?ELS135
EQUAL? PRSI,SECOND-SLAB,FIRST-SLAB \?ELS135
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,SIDEKICKS-BODY
RTRUE
?ELS135: EQUAL? PRSA,V?STAND-ON,V?BOARD,V?CLIMB-ON \?ELS139
IN? PROTAGONIST,TREE-HOLE /?THN145
EQUAL? HERE,CLOSET \?ELS144
FIRST? SHELF \?ELS144
?THN145: PRINTI "Using "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI "'s shoulders, you "
IN? PROTAGONIST,TREE-HOLE \?ELS151
MOVE PROTAGONIST,HERE
MOVE SIDEKICK,HERE
PRINTI "climb out of the hole and help "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " out"
JUMP ?CND149
?ELS151: CALL ROB,SHELF,PROTAGONIST
PRINTI "get everything from the shelf"
?CND149: PRINT PERIOD-CR
RTRUE
?ELS144: CALL WASTES
RSTACK
?ELS139: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUSH \?ELS157
EQUAL? PRSI,TREE-HOLE \?ELS157
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " grabs wildly at you, pulling both of you into the hole"
FSET? TRELLIS,MUNGBIT \?CND160
ZERO? LEAVES-PLACED /?CND163
MOVE LEAVES,TREE-HOLE
?CND163: REMOVE TRELLIS
CALL UNDO-TRAP
PRINTI " with a crash of splintering wood"
?CND160: PRINTI ". "
IN? FLYTRAP,TREE-HOLE \?ELS171
CALL PERFORM,V?ENTER,TREE-HOLE
RTRUE
?ELS171: MOVE PROTAGONIST,TREE-HOLE
MOVE SIDEKICK,TREE-HOLE
IN? TRELLIS,PROTAGONIST \?CND174
MOVE TRELLIS,HERE
?CND174: PRINTI """Brilliant move, bozo,"" says "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINT PERIOD-CR
RTRUE
?ELS157: EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS178
EQUAL? HERE,PLAZA \?ELS178
SUB PLAZA-COUNTER,1
GET PARTS-LIST,STACK
EQUAL? PRSO,STACK \?ELS183
FSET? PRSO,UNTEEDBIT /?ELS183
REMOVE PRSO
SET 'RIGHT-PART,TRUE-VALUE
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " grabs"
CALL TPRINT-PRSO
PRINTI " and quickly incorporates it into "
CALL HIS-HER
PRINTI " contraption."
CRLF
RETURN 8
?ELS183: CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " gives"
CALL TPRINT-PRSO
PRINTI " the barest glance. ""No good! It has to be a"
CALL PRINT-PART
PRINTI "!"""
CRLF
RETURN 8
?ELS178: EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS191
CALL ZMEMQ,PRSO,PARTS-LIST,7
ZERO? STACK /?ELS191
FSET? PRSO,UNTEEDBIT /?ELS191
CALL EAGERLY-ACCEPTS
PRINT PERIOD-CR
RTRUE
?ELS191: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW \FALSE
EQUAL? PRSO,HEADLIGHT \?ELS200
FSET? HEADLIGHT,TRYTAKEBIT \?ELS200
PRINTR """Can't reach it from here!"""
?ELS200: EQUAL? PRSO,SCRAP-OF-PAPER \?ELS204
CALL PERFORM,V?ASK-ABOUT,SIDEKICK,SCRAP-OF-PAPER
RTRUE
?ELS204: CALL ZMEMQ,PRSO,PARTS-LIST,7
ZERO? STACK /FALSE
FSET? PRSO,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE
PRINTI """Hey, wow!"" says "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI ", clearly impressed by your discovery of"
CALL TRPRINT,PRSO
RSTACK
.FUNCT SIDEKICK-DESC
GRTR? PLAZA-COUNTER,0 \?ELS5
PRINTI "busy with"
CALL TPRINT,ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? HERE,BOUDOIR \?ELS7
PRINTI "lying on another couch"
RTRUE
?ELS7: RANDOM 100
LESS? 33,STACK /?ELS9
PRINTI "alertly surveying your surroundings"
RTRUE
?ELS9: RANDOM 100
LESS? 50,STACK /?ELS11
ZERO? SIDEKICKS-BODY-TIED-TO-SLAB \?ELS11
PRINTI "doing some quick limbering exercises"
RTRUE
?ELS11: PRINTI "counting on "
CALL HIS-HER
PRINTI " fingers and mumbling to "
CALL HIM-HER
PRINTI "self"
RTRUE
.FUNCT GENERIC-SIDEKICK-F
GET P-NAMW,0
EQUAL? STACK,W?BODY /FALSE
GET P-NAMW,1
EQUAL? STACK,W?BODY /FALSE
RETURN SIDEKICK
.FUNCT MEMORIAM
PRINTI ", "
PRINTD EYES
PRINTI " fill with tears. You hang "
PRINTD HEAD
PRINTI " in sorrow for a moment to honor your brave, loyal companion who gave "
CALL HIS-HER
PRINTI " life that humanity might be safe from the terrible scourge of "
PRINTD LGOP
PRINT PERIOD-CR
RTRUE
.FUNCT CRAMPED-SPACE-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5
ZERO? HOLE-OPEN \?ELS5
CALL QUEUE,I-CRAMPED-SPACE,2
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE
PRINTI "You are in a dark space, too tiny to move around in. The"
ZERO? HOLE-OPEN /?ELS14
PRINTI " only exit is a hole in the floor."
RTRUE
?ELS14: PRINTI "re are no visible exits."
RTRUE
.FUNCT I-CRAMPED-SPACE
PRINTI " Suddenly, part of the floor collapses, and you"
CALL AND-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " tumble through the resulting hole"
PRINT ELLIPSIS
CALL GOTO,CELL,TRUE-VALUE
IN? SIDEKICK,CRAMPED-SPACE \?CND1
MOVE SIDEKICK,HERE
?CND1: SET 'HOLE-OPEN,TRUE-VALUE
FCLEAR CRAMPED-SPACE,TOUCHBIT
PRINTI " Among the new rubble, you notice"
CALL APRINT,HOLE
PRINTI ", attached to a piece of (what used to be) the floor of the cramped space."
CRLF
CALL CELL-F,M-END
RTRUE
.FUNCT CRAMPED-SPACE-HOLE-F
ZERO? HOLE-OPEN \?ELS5
CALL CANT-SEE,PSEUDO-OBJECT
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER,V?STAND-ON,V?CLIMB-DOWN /?THN8
EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD \FALSE
?THN8: CALL DO-WALK,P?DOWN
RSTACK
.FUNCT END-OF-HALLWAY-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE
PRINTI "A "
PRINTD WIDE-CELL-DOOR
PRINTI " lies "
CALL OPEN-CLOSED,WIDE-CELL-DOOR
PRINTI " to the north, and"
CALL APRINT,NARROW-CELL-DOOR
PRINTI " lies "
CALL OPEN-CLOSED,NARROW-CELL-DOOR
PRINTI " to the south. The hallway ends at a gleaming "
PRINTD EXAM-ROOM-DOOR
PRINTI " to the west, and continues east. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you that it would be dangerous to travel east or west"
PRINT SIGN-AND-STAIRS
RTRUE
.FUNCT EXAMINATION-ROOM-DESC,VIEWING=0
PRINTI "A number of hideous experiments fill th"
ZERO? VIEWING /?ELS3
PRINTI "e"
JUMP ?CND1
?ELS3: PRINTI "is"
?CND1: PRINTI " room. Their obvious purpose: studies of the human anatomy"
EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 /?CND7
PRINTI ", especially those parts rarely referred to in the New York Times"
?CND7: PRINTI ". A pathetic-looking human is the current subject; however, even an author as fond of lascivious detail as this one would hesitate to describe it "
EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?ELS14
PRINTR "even in LEWD mode, except to mention that it involves a lot of lubricants, some plastic tubing, and a yak."
?ELS14: PRINTI "to someone who's merely in "
ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS19
PRINTI "TAME"
JUMP ?CND17
?ELS19: PRINTI "SUGGESTIVE"
?CND17: PRINTR " mode."
.FUNCT EXAMINATION-ROOM-F
FSET? EXAM-ROOM-DOOR,OPENBIT \?ELS5
PRINTI """Examination"" Room
"
ZERO? SEEN-EXAMINATION-ROOM /?ELS8
PRINTI "The experiments look even more horrible from here than from the Observation Room window."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND6
?ELS8: CALL EXAMINATION-ROOM-DESC
?CND6: PRINTI " Before you've really gotten as sick as you know you could get, one of the"
CALL LECKBANDI
RSTACK
?ELS5: CALL THIS-IS-IT,EXAM-ROOM-DOOR
CALL DO-FIRST,STR?66,EXAM-ROOM-DOOR
RFALSE
.FUNCT OTHER-END-OF-HALLWAY-F
PRINTI "Other End of Hallway
Before you can even begin to wonder what happened to the middle of the hallway, a guard patrol erupts from the shadows. A"
CALL LECKBANDI
RSTACK
.FUNCT LECKBANDI
CALL JIGS-UP,STR?407
RSTACK
.FUNCT OBSERVATION-ROOM-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE
PRINTI "Calvin Coolidge once described windows as ""rectangles of glass."" If so, he may have been thinking about the window which fills the western wall of this room. A tiny closet lies to the north"
PRINT SIGN-AND-STAIRS
RTRUE
.FUNCT CLOSET-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5
PRINTI "This room is barely large enough to turn around in. Just to prove it, you turn around. As you do, you spot"
CALL APRINT,HOLE
PRINTI ", about two feet across, seemingly painted on the floor in the corner. A shelf protrudes from one wall, very close to the ceiling. The closet is open to the south."
FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT /TRUE
PRINTI " A strong odor "
FSET? HERE,SMELLEDBIT \?CND9
PRINTI "of "
PRINTD MOTHBALLS
PRINTI " "
?CND9: PRINTI "pervades the closet."
RTRUE
?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-SMELL \FALSE
PRINTI "Apparently this section of Phobos has a significant moth problem."
RTRUE
.FUNCT CLOSET-EXIT-F
PRINTI "Ah! Coming out of the closet, I see"
PRINT ELLIPSIS
RETURN OBSERVATION-ROOM
.FUNCT CLOSET-OBJECT-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?WALK-TO,V?ENTER \?ELS5
EQUAL? HERE,CLOSET \?ELS10
PRINT LOOK-AROUND
RTRUE
?ELS10: EQUAL? HERE,OBSERVATION-ROOM \FALSE
CALL DO-WALK,P?NORTH
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \?ELS14
EQUAL? HERE,CLOSET \?ELS19
CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH
RSTACK
?ELS19: PRINT LOOK-AROUND
RTRUE
?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN \?ELS23
PRINTR "No door."
?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \?ELS25
EQUAL? HERE,CLOSET \?ELS25
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,ODOR
RTRUE
?ELS25: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \?ELS29
PRINT NOTHING-NEW
RTRUE
?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \FALSE
EQUAL? HERE,CLOSET \?ELS36
CALL V-LOOK
RSTACK
?ELS36: PRINT ONLY-BLACKNESS
RTRUE
.FUNCT SHELF-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT,V?PUT-ON \FALSE
EQUAL? PRSI,SHELF \FALSE
IN? PROTAGONIST,STOOL /FALSE
CALL CANT-REACH,SHELF
RSTACK
.FUNCT BASKET-F
FSET? BASKET,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE
EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS7
PRINTR "The basket is oval-shaped. A handle spans the narrow part."
?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \?ELS9
PRINTR "The basket is about fifteen by thirty inches."
?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE \?ELS11
CALL NO-LID
RSTACK
?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-NEAR,V?PUT \?ELS13
EQUAL? PRSI,ORPHANAGE-DOOR \?ELS13
CALL PERFORM,V?PUT-ON,BASKET,FRONT-STOOP
RTRUE
?ELS13: CALL TAKE-BABY-FROM-STOOP,BASKET
ZERO? STACK \TRUE
RFALSE
.FUNCT TAKE-BABY-FROM-STOOP,OBJ
EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \FALSE
EQUAL? PRSO,OBJ \FALSE
CALL QUEUED?,I-ORPHANAGE
ZERO? STACK /FALSE
CALL CCOUNT,PROTAGONIST
LESS? STACK,11 \FALSE
CALL DEQUEUE,I-ORPHANAGE
RFALSE
.FUNCT MOTHBALLS-F
EQUAL? HERE,CLOSET \FALSE
PRINT YOU-CANT-SEE-ANY
PRINTD MOTHBALLS
PRINTR " here. It must be some imitation mothball air mist."
.FUNCT ROOF-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE
PRINTI "Your view extends to the horizon, which on tiny Phobos usually means a few hundred feet. Thrusting up into sight beyond the horizon are"
PRINT PLEASURE-PALACE-DESC
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI ". On a wide plain between here and the palace, powerful warships are poised for the imminent invasion of Earth.
Mars dominates the view, a dull red orb spanning a quarter of the sky. Bright blue canals lace the surface, and white caps of ice are visible at both poles.
A stairway leads down into the building. Near the edge, seemingly painted onto the roof, is"
CALL APRINT,HOLE
PRINTI ". You might be able to jump to the ground, but frankly we advise against it."
RTRUE
.FUNCT ROOF-OBJECT-F
EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAP-OFF /?THN6
EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE-OFF \?ELS5
EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?GET \?ELS5
?THN6: SET 'PRSO,FALSE-VALUE
CALL V-LEAP
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS11
CALL V-LOOK
RSTACK
?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \FALSE
PRINT NOTHING-NEW
RTRUE
.FUNCT I-BLUEPRINT
CALL VISIBLE?,SIDEKICK
ZERO? STACK /?ELS5
CALL LIT?,HERE
ZERO? STACK /?ELS5
LOC SIDEKICK
EQUAL? STACK,SECOND-SLAB,STALLION /?ELS5
CALL QUEUED?,I-SIDEKICK-OUT-WINDOW
ZERO? STACK \?ELS5
MOVE MATCHBOOK,PROTAGONIST
PRINTI " "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " trots over to you. ""I've got a plan to bring these Leather Goddess jokers to their knees,"" "
CALL HE-SHE
PRINTI " says, flipping you a "
PRINTD MATCHBOOK
PRINTI ". "
CALL COVER-FILLED-WITH-NOTES
CALL SCRAPE-UP-THESE-ITEMS
RSTACK
?ELS5: CALL QUEUE,I-BLUEPRINT,3
RFALSE
.FUNCT SCRAPE-UP-THESE-ITEMS
PRINTI """If we can scrape up these items, I can whip up something that'll knock 'em cold! A "
PRINTD ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
PRINTR "!!!"""
.FUNCT MATCHBOOK-F
FSET? MATCHBOOK,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE
EQUAL? PRSA,V?KILL \?ELS7
EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?STRIKE \?ELS7
CALL PERFORM,V?ON,MATCHBOOK
RTRUE
?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?COUNT,V?OPEN /?THN12
EQUAL? PRSA,V?ON \?ELS11
?THN12: PRINTI "You briefly open the "
PRINTD MATCHBOOK
PRINTR " and see that there are no matches left."
?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE \?ELS15
PRINT ALREADY-IS
RTRUE
?ELS15: EQUAL? PRSA,V?READ \?ELS17
PRINTI "Most of the scrawlings are a ""blueprint"" for a vastly complicated device. Below that is a parts list:
1."
CALL APRINT,BLENDER
PRINTI "
2. six feet of "
PRINTD RUBBER-HOSE
PRINTI "
3. a "
PRINTD COTTON-BALLS
PRINTI "
4. an "
PRINTD EIGHTY-TWO-DEGREE-ANGLE
PRINTI "
5. a "
PRINTD HEADLIGHT
PRINTI " from any 1933 Ford
6. a white mouse
7. any size "
CALL DPRINT,PHOTO
PRINTI "
8. a copy of"
CALL TPRINT,PHONE-BOOK
CRLF
RTRUE
?ELS17: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
CALL COVER-FILLED-WITH-NOTES
CALL PERFORM,V?OPEN,MATCHBOOK
RTRUE
.FUNCT COVER-FILLED-WITH-NOTES
PRINTI "The cover of the "
PRINTD MATCHBOOK
PRINTI " is filled with scrawled notations. "
RTRUE
.FUNCT BOUDOIR-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5
MOVE PROTAGONIST,DIVAN
CALL QUEUE,I-BOUDOIR,6
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS7
PRINTI "There is only enough light here to make out vague shapes. "
IN? PROTAGONIST,DIVAN \?CND8
PRINTI "You seem to be lying on a plush divan. "
?CND8: CALL NOT-ALONE-ON-DIVAN
FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT /TRUE
PRINTI " A pleasing odor "
FSET? HERE,SMELLEDBIT \?CND14
PRINTI "of leather "
?CND14: PRINTI "comes from close by."
RTRUE
?ELS7: EQUAL? RARG,M-SMELL \FALSE
PRINTI "Someone nearby is wearing leather. Lots of leather."
RTRUE
.FUNCT NOT-ALONE-ON-DIVAN
PRINTI "You hear heavy breathing from nearby"
IN? PROTAGONIST,DIVAN \?CND1
PRINTI ", and realize that you are not alone on the couch"
?CND1: PRINTI "."
RTRUE
.FUNCT I-BOUDOIR,NOT-CALLED-BY-FUCK=1
PRINTI " You hear a click, and "
IN? PROTAGONIST,HERE /?CND1
PRINTI "leap to your feet as "
?CND1: PRINTI "the room is flooded with light!
"
PRINTD HERE
PRINTI "
Oh, no! You have violated the sanctity of a boudoir! And not just any old boudoir, but an"
PRINT PRIVATE-BOUDOIR
PRINTI "! And not just any old"
PRINT PRIVATE-BOUDOIR
PRINTI ", but an"
PRINT PRIVATE-BOUDOIR
PRINTI " belonging to "
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI "!
""The escaped prisoner"
CALL VISIBLE?,SIDEKICK
ZERO? STACK /?CND4
PRINTI "s"
?CND4: PRINTI "!"" cries one of "
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI ". ""Sound the alarm!""
""Inform the guards!"" yells another.
""Call out the army!""
""Alert the space fleet!""
""Summon my masseur,"" says the single unfrantic Goddess, calmly pulling a lever. As the floor opens up, you"
CALL AND-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " plunge down a long chute"
PRINT ELLIPSIS
CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,9,13
CALL GOTO,PLAZA,TRUE-VALUE
CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,SIDEKICK,BOUDOIR
ZERO? STACK /?CND7
MOVE SIDEKICK,PLAZA
?CND7: ZERO? NOT-CALLED-BY-FUCK /TRUE
EQUAL? PRSA,V?WAIT /TRUE
CALL PLAZA-F,M-END
RTRUE
.FUNCT LGOP-F
EQUAL? LGOP,WINNER \?ELS5
EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \?ELS10
EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS10
SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,LGOP
SET 'WINNER,LGOP
RTRUE
?ELS10: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE,V?FUCK \?ELS14
EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS14
SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
CALL PERFORM,V?FUCK,LGOP
SET 'WINNER,LGOP
RTRUE
?ELS14: ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS18
PRINT LEAVE-ME-ALONE
RTRUE
?ELS18: PRINTI """Shut up and kiss me, honey."""
CRLF
CALL STOP
RSTACK
?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS22
PRINTI "The lighting is too dim to see more than vague shapes."
ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL /?CND23
PRINTI " But very shapely shapes!"
?CND23: CRLF
RTRUE
?ELS22: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS,V?FUCK,V?TOUCH \?ELS27
ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS27
PRINTI "You're pushed away. "
PRINT LEAVE-ME-ALONE
RTRUE
?ELS27: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EAT \?ELS31
ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS36
CALL V-FUCK
RSTACK
?ELS36: EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS38
PRINT MISSIONARY-ONLY
RTRUE
?ELS38: PRINTR "As you dive between her thighs, she arches toward you, shivering with hedonistic pleasure."
?ELS31: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH \?ELS42
PRINTI "Your arms discover a soft and eager body. You hear a purr of pleasure"
EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND43
CALL BODIES-PRESS-TOGETHER,STR?414,STR?415
?CND43: PRINT PERIOD-CR
RTRUE
?ELS42: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \?ELS47
PRINTI "Your lips meet those of your couchmate -- full, moist lips; the lips of someone who knows how to kiss"
EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND48
PRINTI ". A tongue slides teasingly into "
PRINTD MOUTH
CALL BODIES-PRESS-TOGETHER,STR?416,STR?417
?CND48: CALL VISIBLE?,SIDEKICK
ZERO? STACK /?CND51
PRINT PERIOD-CR
PRINTI " You hear a ""thunk"" as "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI ", humping enthusiastically, falls off "
CALL HIS-HER
PRINTI " couch"
?CND51: PRINT PERIOD-CR
RTRUE
?ELS47: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \?ELS55
CALL PERFORM-PRSA,ODOR
RTRUE
?ELS55: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FUCK \FALSE
PRINTI "Your couchmate seems only too happy to oblige. You flush with passion"
EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND58
CALL BODIES-PRESS-TOGETHER,STR?418,STR?415
?CND58: PRINTI ". Suddenly..."
CRLF
CALL DEQUEUE,I-BOUDOIR
CALL I-BOUDOIR,FALSE-VALUE
RSTACK
.FUNCT BODIES-PRESS-TOGETHER,VERB-STRING,NOUN-STRING
MOVE PROTAGONIST,DIVAN
PRINTI " as your two bodies draw closer together on the divan"
ZERO? MALE \FALSE
ZERO? DISCOVERED \FALSE
SET 'DISCOVERED,TRUE-VALUE
PRINTI ". You discover, much to your surprise, that you are "
PRINT VERB-STRING
PRINTI " a woman. Even more surprising, your misgivings are swept away by the heady pleasure of the soft, full "
PRINT NOUN-STRING
PRINTI " pressing against your own"
RTRUE
.FUNCT PLAZA-F,RARG
EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5
PRINTI "This is a wide plaza between"
PRINT PLEASURE-PALACE-DESC
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI ". It is a lovely, bucolic area of gushing fountains, curving flower beds, and lawns of thick, green grass. Birds fly amongst the trees, singing peacefully, as baby squirrels hop across the lawn, lazily collecting nuts."
RTRUE
?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-SMELL \?ELS7
PRINTI "Through the smoke of battle, you see a banana peel squirt from"
CALL TPRINT,ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
PRINTI "."
RTRUE
?ELS7: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE
INC 'PLAZA-COUNTER
PRINTI " "
EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,1 \?ELS12
PRINTI "A half-megaton grenade explodes nearby as the palace guards attempt to repel "
IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?ELS15
PRINTI "some"
JUMP ?CND13
?ELS15: PRINTI "an"
?CND13: PRINTI " unwanted intruder"
IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?CND18
PRINTI "s"
?CND18: PRINTI " (namely: you"
CALL AND-SIDEKICK
PRINTI ")."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS12: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,2 \?ELS22
PRINTI "The guards now have reinforcements: a row of imposing radium-powered tanks are rolling towards you."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS22: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,3 \?ELS24
PRINTI "Giant berserk robotoid sumo wrestlers, each madly waving about three dozen samurai swords, are now storming across the plaza at you."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS24: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,4 \?ELS26
PRINTI "With a swooping roar, the"
PRINT ATTACK-FLEET
PRINTI " of "
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI " joins the attack. Several nearby trees are suddenly vaporized."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS26: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,5 \?ELS28
PRINTI "The palace guards are setting up a massive dematerialization ray. Closer by, a sumo-robot discovers a boulder in its path, and a large quantity of gravel is created."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS28: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,6 \?ELS30
PRINTI "A Phobosian Chomper is faster than a cheetah, meaner than a Tyrannosaurus Rex, bigger than a sperm whale, and as hungry as the state of Texas. We mention this because fifty of them just entered the plaza and spotted you."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS30: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,7 \?ELS32
PRINTI "Several fifty-foot craters appear as the"
PRINT ATTACK-FLEET
PRINTI " begins lobbing ion bombs. As they veer around for a more precise attack, the tanks close in, and you realize that each one is larger than the Upper Sandusky City Hall."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS32: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,8 \?ELS34
PRINTI "A couple of buildings behind you silently vanish, indicating that the palace guards are better at assembling a death ray than at aiming it. However, in sixty centuries of repelling intruders, they've never missed twice. Meanwhile, one of the Chompers has stopped to swallow a herd of goats that was grazing nearby, thus slowing it down for a full tenth of a second."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS34: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,9 \?ELS36
PRINTI "The guards have finished aiming the death ray, and have begun the activation sequence. The ground quakes as the berserko robotoids plow through the rubble toward you; the wind from their whirling swords knocks over a few trees. The tanks loom above you, their gun turrets blocking out the sun. Beyond them, the"
PRINT ATTACK-FLEET
PRINTI " is sweeping in for a final attack."
CRLF
JUMP ?CND10
?ELS36: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,10 \?CND10
CALL JIGS-UP,STR?420
?CND10: CALL VISIBLE?,SIDEKICK
ZERO? STACK /TRUE
PRINTI " "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,1 \?ELS44
MOVE ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE,HERE
PRINTI " shouts, ""Okay, this is it!"
FIRST? SIDEKICK \?ELS47
CALL ROB,SIDEKICK,PROTAGONIST
PRINTI """ "
CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE
PRINTI " hands you everything "
CALL HE-SHE
PRINTI "'s carrying. """
JUMP ?CND45
?ELS47: PRINTI " "
?CND45: PRINTI "Gotta start building that "
PRINTD ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
PRINTI "! "
JUMP ?CND42
?ELS44: PRINTI ", hammering and twiddling madly at the growing machine, yells, """
ZERO? RIGHT-PART /?ELS54
PRINTI "Okay, things are going "
SUB PLAZA-COUNTER,2
GET HYPE-WORD,STACK
PRINT STACK
PRINTI "! "
JUMP ?CND52
?ELS54: SUB PLAZA-COUNTER,2
GET PARTS-LIST,STACK >MISSING-PART
PRINTI "Well, I'll try and work around the missing "
EQUAL? MISSING-PART,PHOTO \?ELS60
GETP PHOTO,P?SDESC
PRINT STACK
JUMP ?CND58
?ELS60: PRINTD MISSING-PART
?CND58: PRINTI ". "
?CND52: EQUAL? PLAZA-COUNTER,9 \?CND42
PRINTI "There! I think it's all done. Cross your fingers, kiddo!"" "
CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE
PRINTI " switches on the device. Amidst showers of sparks, a powerful electric arc bridges two electrodes. The machine shudders, and "
ZERO? MISSING-PART /?ELS68
PRINTI "awe-inspiring rays of raw plasma begin shooting in every direction. You and "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI " dive to the ground. Crashing spaceships collide with careening robotoid monsters; the tanks, inches before pancaking you, become pools of molten metal. A stray plasma ray strikes the only remaining tree in the plaza, and you are fatally wounded as a coconut drops onto "
PRINTD HEAD
PRINTI ". The last sound you hear is "
CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK
PRINTI "'s voice, saying,"
CALL EXPLETIVE
PRINTI "I was going to use that "
EQUAL? MISSING-PART,PHOTO \?ELS72
GETP PHOTO,P?SDESC
PRINT STACK
JUMP ?CND70
?ELS72: PRINTD MISSING-PART
?CND70: PRINTI " to build a coconut deflector."""
CRLF
JUMP ?CND66
?ELS68: PRINTI "you "
FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT \?ELS79
PRINTI "see"
JUMP ?CND77
?ELS79: PRINTI "smell"
?CND77: PRINTI " something yellow shoot from the machine."
FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT \?ELS84
PRINTI " It's a banana peel!"
CRLF
JUMP ?CND82
?ELS84: CRLF
CALL PERFORM,V?SMELL,ODOR
?CND82: PRINTI " The peel lands a few feet away, as the "
PRINTD ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
PRINTI " gives one final shudder and self-destructs in an orgy of flames and shrapnel!
The attacking forces continue to close, and certain death is only seconds away when one of the Chompers, loping toward you at nearly Mach One, steps on the banana peel, and slips a few inches to one side before righting itself. This is enough, however, to nudge a tank into a crater, tripping one of the samurai robots!
More and more of the attacking forces plow into the mess in the crater, like some improbably fantastical football tackle. A stray grenade lands right in its midst, and the resulting plume of debris shears the fins off the leading warship. Your heart leaps as the entire"
PRINT ATTACK-FLEET
PRINTI " of "
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI " plummets toward the ground. The mass of flaming metal strikes the ground, and a tremendous explosion knocks you senseless!
Eventually, daylight intrudes upon your senselessness and illuminates a sleepy-looking gas station. You are lying at the edge of a dusty road, once again wearing your comfortable old overalls. Though dirty, dishevelled, and bleeding from a few superficial cuts, you are nevertheless aglow in the knowledge that Earth is safe from the threat of "
PRINTD LGOP
PRINTI ".
As "
PRINTD HEAD
PRINTI " clears, three uniformed "
ZERO? MALE /?ELS89
PRINTI "girls come bounc"
JUMP ?CND87
?ELS89: PRINTI "guys come pound"
?CND87: PRINTI "ing out of the service station toward you. ""Oh, my goodness,"" they "
ZERO? MALE /?ELS95
PRINTI "coo"
JUMP ?CND93
?ELS95: PRINTI "call out"
?CND93: PRINTI ", in perfect unison. ""Are you all right?""
Coming soon from Infocom: GAS PUMP GIRLS MEET THE PULSATING INCONVENIENCE FROM PLANET X."
CRLF
SET 'RANK,9
SET 'EXT-MAX,INT-MAX
?CND66: CALL FINISH
?CND42: PRINTI "Hand me a"
CALL PRINT-PART
PRINTI "."""
CRLF
SET 'RIGHT-PART,FALSE-VALUE
CALL THIS-IS-IT,SIDEKICK
RSTACK
.FUNCT PRINT-PART,NEXT-PART
SUB PLAZA-COUNTER,1
GET PARTS-LIST,STACK >NEXT-PART
CALL THIS-IS-IT,NEXT-PART
EQUAL? NEXT-PART,EIGHTY-TWO-DEGREE-ANGLE \?ELS3
PRINTI "n "
JUMP ?CND1
?ELS3: PRINTI " "
?CND1: EQUAL? NEXT-PART,PHOTO \?ELS10
GETP PHOTO,P?SDESC
PRINT STACK
RTRUE
?ELS10: PRINTD NEXT-PART
RTRUE
.FUNCT GENERIC-MACHINE-F,NUM
CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM
EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS5
GRTR? NUM,31 /?THN8
LESS? NUM,13 \?ELS5
?THN8: RETURN ODD-MACHINE
?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ASK-ABOUT \?ELS11
CALL VISIBLE?,ODD-MACHINE
ZERO? STACK /?ELS16
RETURN ODD-MACHINE
?ELS16: RETURN ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
?ELS11: EQUAL? SIDEKICK,WINNER \FALSE
CALL QUEUED?,I-BLUEPRINT
ZERO? STACK \FALSE
RETURN ANTI-LGOP-MACHINE
.ENDI