134 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
134 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
Fizbar's Review Guide for the Enchanter Guild Exam
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For the young Enchanter just graduated from Thaumaturgy School, the
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prospect of facing the Enchanter's Guild Exam is a daunting one. Given
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only two weeks after the close of the grueling academic year, the Exam
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puts fear even into those novice spellcasters who have watched as their
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closest friends were turned into insects and have been transformed,
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albeit briefly, into bats.
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For you, the magic users of tomorrow, we at Fizbar's have created the
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definitive review guide for the Guild Exam, including a sample exam with
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questions culled from actual exams from years past. With this Guide in
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hand, the keys to a bright future in Enchanting will be yours! Good
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luck!
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Chapter I: Spell Books
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----------------------
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If there is one thing a novice Enchanter should not be without, it's
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his spell book. In it are inscribed all of the spells which he has
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mastered. The GNUSTO spell is used to inscribe newly learned spells into
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the book, and for this reason it is prudent to purchase a spell book
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which comes with the GNUSTO spell included, since factory-installed
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GNUSTO has been shown be more reliable than even the more expensive GNUSTOs
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when purchased separately.
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Chapter II: Spell Scrolls
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-------------------------
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Spell scrolls are powerful devices which contain
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Chapter III: Common Spells
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--------------------------
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Chapter IV: Uncommon Spells
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---------------------------
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Chapter V: Non-existent Spells
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------------------------------
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Multiple Choice:
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----------------
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The FREMB spell will not work when which of the following is present?
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a) Tuna Fish
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b) Antharians
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c) Granola
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d) Your Great-aunt Zelbo
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e) All of the above
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Which of the following is not allowed by Thaumaturgical law?
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a) FROTZing unripe fruits
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b) SPLEEBing your neighbor's wife
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c) NITFOLing brogmoids
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d) FROOing on alternate Wednesdays
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e) No less than 2 of the above
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The first BLORB spell was cast in the city of:
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a) Splatzburg
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b) McKeesport
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c) Fromage
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d) Izyukville
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Which of the following spells is not concerned with death?
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a) OZMOO
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b) GASPAR
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c) LEMING
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d) MORBO
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e) LIPTON
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Problem Solving:
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----------------
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You hear a noise and turn around only to see a pack of lurking grues.
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You should immediately:
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a) FROTZ the grues
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b) LEMING your hat
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c) AIMFIZ your best friend
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d) none of the above
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Answer: D. This is a trick question. If you had paid attention at all
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in Beasts 201 you would know that grues have never been seen because
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of their fear of light. Clearly, you could never be in this situation.
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Your pet dragon has been hit by a flying carpet and is running out of
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steam. Your best bet is to:
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a) FROTZ the dragon
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b) KREBF the dragon
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c) QUELBO the dragon
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d) ZIFMIA the undertaker
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Answer: C. FROTZing the dragon is fine when your light has gone out, but
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that's another problem. KREBF only repairs WILFULL damage, not
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accidental damage. QUELBO, which repairs CARPET-RELATED damage, will
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do the trick, making it unnecessary to ZIFMIA the undertaker. It can
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also be used to remove the unsightly stain on the carpet caused by
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the accident.
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On a windy day, your hat is blown off your head and straight toward a
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cliff. You should:
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a) ZIFMIA the hat
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b) FROTZ the cliff
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c) YOMIN the hat
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d) FORGET the hat
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Answer: D. ZIFMIA can only be used on animate objects, which is not the
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case unless you had ??'ed the hat first. BLORB, although making the cliff
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more noticable, will do nothing for the hat. YOMIN will probe the hat's
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mind as it plummets over the cliff. FORGET, of course, is the 'retrieve
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lost haberdashery' spell and is perfect on such occasions.
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Analogies:
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----------
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CLEESH : NEWT as BLORB : ???
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a) Non-entity
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b) Cheesecake
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c) Circle of Enchanters
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d) Floor Waxer
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NITFOL : ANIMAL as QUOBIX : ???
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a) Vegetable
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b) Mineral
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c) Soybean
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d) Magic Wand
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GNUSTO : SPELL BOOK as CRAYON : ???
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a) Coloring Book
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b) |