95 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
95 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
AIRPLANE SEQUENCE
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WINNING CASE NO 1
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SEAT 3B
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You are sitting in an incredibly luxurious Air Zalagasa FubAero 7-11
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seat 30,000 feet over somewhere which you don't know where it is.
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>EXAMINE THE SEAT
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It is an incredibly luxurious FubAero ComfoMat (TM) Air Zalagasa seat,
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equipped with a recline button, a headphone socket, a light switch and a
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stewardess call button. A pocket in front holds literature.
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>PRESS THE RECLINE {ANY} BUTTON
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You hear a tiny metallic voice whispering nearby.
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>LISTEN TO THE VOICE
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You cannot hear it clearly without the proper equipment.
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>LOOK IN THE POCKET
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The seat pocket contains a set of headphones, a copy of Ai-Ai Life, the
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in-flight magazine of Air Zalagasa, and a safety card.
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>GET THE HEADPHONES.PLUG THEM INTO THE SEAT.
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The voice is now a little louder but still unclear.
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>WEAR THE HEADPHONES
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You hear an announcement. "Welcome to seat {WRONG SEATNUM}. Your
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luxury Air Zalagasa flight has been equipped for your convenience with
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ComfoMat (TM) electrically-controlled seats. For your safety and
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comfort, the controls located at your passenger station have been
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centrally disabled at this time. We will be making this facility
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available to you after take off, or when we have reached our cruising
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altitude. Or possibly when we have served dinner. Or when we feel like
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it."
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>READ THE MAGAZINE
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No.
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>EXAMINE THE MAGAZINE
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A card falls out and flutters underneath your seat, which has been specially
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designed so that anything which flutters underneath it cannot be retrieved.
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>EXAMINE THE CARD
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This is a shiny card showing happy Zalagasans in a shiny Air Zalagasa
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airplane to which all sorts of terrible things are happening.
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The first picture shows a happy smiling stewardess making an announcement
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in very very small type. The second picture shows some happy, smiling
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Zalagasan passengers removing false teeth, sepctacles, ornamental nose
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bones and so forth. The third picture shows
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some Zalagasans who are almost certainly happy and smiling but you
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can't be sure because they are all bent double clasping their knees.
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The fourth picture appears to have been chewed by a llama so you can't
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tell what the happy smiling Zalagasans which it undoubtedly showed are
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actually doing.
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>READ THE SMALL PRINT
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The small print coming out of the stewardess's mouth says "M'baka
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n'ka umtogo bokaki m'Great Big Plane Crash n'gaga five minutes,
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okaka m'sidli ik ik togo paku."
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>PRESS THE STEWARDESS BUTTON
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Your seat reclines slightly, remembers that it has been centrally
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disabled for your comfort and safety, pauses, and returns to its
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full upright position.
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>FEEL UNDER THE SEAT
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You feel the edge of a card.
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>GET THE CARD
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Taken.
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>EXAMINE IT.
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[SHOW COMPLAINTS FORM]
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