Crawler updates...
Pentium44
parent
c4efaa30f7
commit
5a13a78559
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@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
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#!/bin/bash
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input=$1
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output=$1.gen
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while IFS= read -r line
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do
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echo "http://$line" >> $output
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done < $input
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@ -2,9 +2,9 @@
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// Configuration
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$database = "db.txt"; //Where's the websites?!
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$maxfinds = "99"; //Maximum amount of hits on the search query.
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$maxpagecrawl = "5"; //Maximum number of pages to crawl per crawl query
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$maxpagecrawl = "100"; //Maximum number of pages to crawl per crawl query
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$descfontsize = "14px"; //Description font size of query results.
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$crawl_depth = "2"; // Crawl to second layer of links on each page
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$urls = "urls.txt"; // URL file to create a baseline database for the search engine
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$crawl_depth = "4"; // Crawl to second layer of links on each page
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$max_word_search_array = "10"; // Maximum amount of words to search for in a string if exact string isn't found.
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// END
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?>
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@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
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include("config.php");
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function crawl_page($url, $depth = 5)
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function crawl_page($url, $depth = 5, $filename)
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{
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static $seen = array();
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if (isset($seen[$url]) || $depth === 0) {
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@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ function crawl_page($url, $depth = 5)
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if($crawlcount>$GLOBALS['maxpagecrawl']) { break; }
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crawl_page($href, $depth - 1);
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crawl_page($href, $depth - 1, $filename);
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}
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$metas = $dom->getElementsByTagName('meta');
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@ -71,39 +71,48 @@ function crawl_page($url, $depth = 5)
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$title = $dom->getElementsByTagName('title');
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if ($title->length){
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if ($title->length) {
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$title = $title->item(0)->nodeValue;
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if(trim($title)=="" || trim($description)=="") {
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return 2;
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}
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} else {
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return 2;
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}
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if(strpos(file_get_contents($GLOBALS['database']), "URL: $url") === false) {
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if(strpos(file_get_contents($filename), "URL: $url") === false) {
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echo "URL: " . $url . "<br />\n"
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. "Title: " . $title . "<br />\n"
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. "Description: " . $description . "<br />\n"
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. "Keywords: " . $keywords . "<br /><br />\n";
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file_put_contents($GLOBALS['database'], "URL: " . $url . "\n"
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file_put_contents($filename, "URL: " . $url . "\n"
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. "Title: " . $title . "\n"
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. "Description: " . $description . "\n"
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. "Keywords: " . $keywords . "\n\n", FILE_APPEND);
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} else {
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echo "$url exists in " . $GLOBALS['database'];
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echo "$url exists in " . $filename . PHP_EOL;
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return 3;
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}
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}
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$urlhandler = fopen($urls, 'r');
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if($urlhandler) {
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while(($urlline = fgets($urlhandler)) !== false) {
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if(filter_var(trim($urlline), FILTER_VALIDATE_URL) !== FALSE)
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crawl_page(trim($urlline), $crawl_depth);
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if(isset($argc)) {
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if($argc == "2") {
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$urlline = $argv[1];
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echo "One argument\r\n";
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if(filter_var(trim($urlline), FILTER_VALIDATE_URL) !== FALSE) {
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echo "Crawling $urlline" . PHP_EOL;
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crawl_page(trim($urlline), $crawl_depth, $GLOBALS['database']);
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}
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}
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fclose($urlhandler);
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} else {
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// Not doing that right now
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if($argc == "3") {
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$urlline = $argv[1];
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$fileout = $argv[2];
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echo "Two arguments\r\n";
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if(filter_var(trim($urlline), FILTER_VALIDATE_URL) !== FALSE) {
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echo "Crawling $urlline and saving to $fileout" . PHP_EOL;
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crawl_page(trim($urlline), $crawl_depth, $fileout);
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}
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}
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}
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#!/bin/bash
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# Crawl at a thread rate
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threads=4
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urls="urls.txt"
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output="db.txt"
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x=1
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while IFS= read -r line
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do
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echo "Off crawler number ${x}!"
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php crawl.php $line $output.$x > webcrawl.log &
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((x=x+1))
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done < $urls
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159091
crawler/db.txt
159091
crawler/db.txt
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
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@ -71,11 +71,22 @@ include_once("config.php");
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}
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.header {
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font-family: "Monoton", "Ubuntu Mono", sans-serif;
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font-family: "Monoton", sans-serif;
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font-size: 28px;
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width: 40px;
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color: #aa00ff;
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}
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#quote {
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max-width: 90%;
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background-color: #000000;
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border: solid 1px #101010;
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radius: 4px;
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font-size: 16px;
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padding: 4px;
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margin: 0 auto;
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}
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#searchbar {
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font-size: 20px;
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background-color: #131313;
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@ -122,6 +133,26 @@ include_once("config.php");
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$searchcount = "0";
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function filterSearchKeys($query){
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$query = trim(preg_replace("/(\s+)+/", " ", $query));
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$words = array();
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// expand this list with your words.
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$list = array("in","it","a","the","of","or","I","you","he","me","us","they","she","to","but","that","this","those","then");
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$c = 0;
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foreach(explode(" ", $query) as $key){
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if (in_array($key, $list)){
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continue;
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}
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$words[] = $key;
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// If over X words in queue for search, stop
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if ($c >= $GLOBALS['max_word_search_array']){
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break;
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}
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$c++;
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}
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return $words;
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}
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if(isset($_GET['search']) && $_GET['search']!="")
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{
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$searchquery = stripslashes(htmlentities($_GET['search']));
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@ -138,7 +169,7 @@ if(isset($_GET['search']) && $_GET['search']!="")
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array_shift($searchbuffer);
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foreach($searchbuffer as $site) {
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if(strpos($site, $searchquery) !== false) {
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if(stripos($site, $searchquery) !== false) {
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$url = explode("\n", $site); // $url[1]
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$pretitle = explode("Title: ", $site);
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$title = explode("Description: ", $pretitle[1]);
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@ -155,6 +186,49 @@ if(isset($_GET['search']) && $_GET['search']!="")
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if($searchcount>$maxfinds) { break; }
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}
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// Didn't find any / lots of direct comparisons to the string
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// lets do a simple word by word search algorithm
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$searchedbuf = "";
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$finalbuf = "";
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if($searchcount < "25") {
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$searchkeys = filterSearchKeys($searchquery);
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$cnt = 1;
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foreach($searchkeys as $search) {
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if($cnt != count($searchkeys)) {
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foreach($searchbuffer as $site2) {
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if(stripos($site2, $search) !== false) {
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$searchedbuf .= "URL: " . $site2 . "\n";
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}
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}
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}
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if($cnt == count($searchkeys)) {
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foreach(explode("URL: ", $searchedbuf) as $sitebuf) {
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if(stripos($sitebuf, $search) !== false) {
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$finalbuf .= "URL: " . $sitebuf . "\n";
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}
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}
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}
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$cnt++;
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}
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$searchbuffer2 = explode("URL: ", $finalbuf);
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array_shift($searchbuffer2);
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foreach($searchbuffer2 as $searched) {
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$url = explode("\n", $searched); // $url[1]
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$pretitle = explode("Title: ", $searched);
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$title = explode("Description: ", $pretitle[1]);
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$predesc = explode("Description: ", $searched); // Used to calculate descriptions with line breaks
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$desc = explode("Keywords: ", $predesc[1]); // $desc[0]
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echo "<a href='" . $url[0] . "'>" . $title[0] . "</a><br />\n";
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echo "<p style='font-size: $descfontsize;'>"
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. "<span style='color:#00BB00;padding-bottom:4px;'>" . $url[0] . "</span><br />"
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. $desc[0] . "</p><br />\n";
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$searchcount++;
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}
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}
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echo "<p>Found $searchcount results</p>";
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echo "<br />\n";
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@ -164,7 +238,7 @@ else if(isset($_GET['crawl']) && $_GET['crawl']!="")
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$crawlurl = htmlentities(stripslashes($_GET['crawl']));
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if(filter_var($crawlurl, FILTER_VALIDATE_URL)) {
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echo "Crawling $crawlurl, please wait this can take a few!<br />\n";
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$crawl = crawl_page($crawlurl, $crawl_depth);
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$crawl = crawl_page($crawlurl, $crawl_depth, $database);
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if ($crawl == 3) {
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echo "";
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} else {
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@ -202,7 +276,14 @@ else
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?>
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<br />
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<br />
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<div id="quote">
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<?php
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$quote = file_get_contents("quotes/" . rand(1,80) . ".txt");
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echo nl2br(stripslashes(htmlentities($quote)));
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?>
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</div>
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</p>
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</div>
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<Insomniak`> Stupid fucking Google
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<Insomniak`> "The" is a common word, and was not included in your search
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<Insomniak`> "Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search
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<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars
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<tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate
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<pengrate> Because, contrary to Window's opinion, searching the internet for ethernet drivers does not go over so well
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<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
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<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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<ckx> hrm does anybody else ever think "yep... the internet... vast information and opportunities at my disposal..."
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<ckx> and then just sit at the search engine
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<ckx> :/
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<eminem_fan> they changed google!
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<eminem_fan> i hate it, it's like new coke
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<Blacgrass> wtf, you're like eleven, how do you know about new coke?
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<eminem_fan> stfu blac, how u know I'm 11?
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<Blacgrass> do a google search for "eminem fans"..
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<pr00f> Tendency's chatroom inaction
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<pr00f> is due to a pleasant distraction.
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<pr00f> she finds it quite grand
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<pr00f> to type with one hand,
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<pr00f> in search of her own satisfaction!
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<doobie> where do you sickos get these fucking links
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<doobie> i mean seroiusly, do you type in
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<doobie> horribly disfigured penis into google?
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<Diablo> no
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<Diablo> actually i was searching for penises in mouse traps
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<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
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<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only deadly disease
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affecting millions
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<DELTRON> Note to self: when searching kazaa for southpark episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the keyword 'southpark'!!!
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<Bl1tz|> lol I think Tatu arose out of a secret expiriment to log the average American's web search
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<Bl1tz|> and they came up with 'young teenage Russian lesbians'
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<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
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<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
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<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"
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<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.
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<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
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<ctone> ...
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<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
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<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.
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<+Iceman> God I'm tired...I actually wrote "teh soldiers pwn Hitler" on a notecard for a research report...
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Matt: I AM QUERY OPTIMIZATION GUY
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Matt: AND THIS... IS MY QUERY
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Andy: wha?... WHO TOUCH MY QUERY?!
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Matt: WHO TOUCHED MY JOINS!!??
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Matt: Some users think they can outsmart me. Maybe... maybe. I have yet to meet one who can outsmart LIMIT.
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Matt: She weighs in at 300 lines of SQL and she searches 8 million rows per second. It costs 24 billion machine cycles to run this query... for 12 seconds.
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<Geekzilla> "Ah. I see here you were a Geek Squad Special Agent"
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<Geekzilla> "Yes, sir. Three years in the field. I was quite good at my job"
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<Geekzilla> "I see. Well, thanks for coming in to interview, unfortunately we have no need for your services"
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<Geekzilla> "But... but I thought you said you needed an experienced, talented IT tech?!"
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<Geekzilla> "Exactly. Good luck in your job search"
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<MrNonchalant> she dumped me in the worst way possible
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<MrNonchalant> Facebook defriend and status change
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<MrNonchalant> one day you're in love with a girl who loves you, you have a romantic dinner, and you have a really nice moment together
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<MrNonchalant> two days later you type her name in Facebook search and it doesn't autocomplete
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<MrNonchalant> it doesn't autocomplete!
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<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'
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<@Scootz> i just realized i left 'erection after death' in my google search bar when i let my dad use the computer
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<@Scootz> and it's different now
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<Kyro> searching for: penis
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*** Kyro has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
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<LL-> why did u msg me?
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<marry> realy im searching to get married
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<marry> can you help me
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<LL-> why u wanna get married?
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<marry> becuse i dont want to live in gaza
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DDR Takumi: Search for 'Social Life' returned 0 results.
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DDR Takumi: bah, what now
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<Dann> this is so sad...
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<Dann> i want to find the "super mario bros movie" on limewire, just for old times' sake... but guess what my first search result is?
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<Dann> the 40 year old virgin
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<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
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<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
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<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
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<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
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<dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
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<darknation> wtf
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<darknation> someone has been searching for dildos on amazon.com with my username
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<crikket> spyware is stuff that looks at where you go on the net and tells some market research group
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<strangefour> hmm, market research now know I go to japanese websites that have scantily clad drawings of green haired women with glasses
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<crikket> next year that's what'll be advertizing pepsi
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<crikket> thanks alot s4
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<|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a bad time
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<Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic"
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<Lord_Cie> CNN (Boca Raton, FL) A new report has OJ Simpson quoted as saying that he "will vow to search for the real terrorists"
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<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist
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< MrZippy> BBC: "The brains of thousands of mentally ill people were illegally removed for research, a report is expected to reveal."
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< MrZippy> Big surprise.
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< Leimy> research like what?
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< MrZippy> I dunno. Prolly to figure out why crazy people don't go stealing other people's brains?
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<+Clive> news.bbc.co.uk headlines: Police are searching bins in a bid to find fresh clues in their hunt for missing schoolgirl Shannon Matthews.
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<+Clive> So... they're looking for a laden bin?
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danamania: wtf... I search on altavista for my page
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danamania: and an ad at the bottom goes:
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danamania: Find danamania here! www.ebay.com.au - New & second hand!
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danamania: I can get a whole new me!
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Vash: or a slighty used one, with a few dents
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@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<[ric]> pfft... oh, well when I am dead my gravestone will simply read.. http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?search=%5Bric%5D
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<SandLev> I keep those empty cardboard boxes that used to hold blank cd-r's... put the pr0n in those...
|
||||
<SandLev> nobody thinks to search blank cd-r boxes for actuall stuff
|
||||
<Zoogle> except someone who is looking for a blank cd.. :/
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
|
|||
<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
|
||||
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
|
|||
<Frostfyre> Alright. 5 reasons why I'm convinced that my penis runs Linux.
|
||||
<Frostfyre> 1. I can create child processes
|
||||
<Frostfyre> 2. I can handle multiple users on any platform at once.
|
||||
<Frostfyre> 3. I'm VERY user friendly.
|
||||
<Frostfyre> 4. I have incredible uptime.
|
||||
<Frostfyre> and 5. When my system load gets too heavy, I end up dumping my core and the system shuts down.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<Jay> Did you hear about the Linux-car finishing last in the indy500?
|
||||
<MrBeek> I did now ;-)
|
||||
<MrBeek> Not surprised though... You know how impossible it is to find a decent driver for linux hardware?
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<Soybomb> On the way home yesterday, I saw a car with a vanity plate that read: LINUX OS
|
||||
<Soybomb> I really wished for a truck with a WINDOWS plate to ram it...sadly, no.
|
||||
<Druuna> unfortunately, you'd probably crash before hitting it...
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
-!- WetWired has joined #linux
|
||||
< WetWired> Wow, how... boring.
|
||||
-!- WetWired has left #linux []
|
||||
<@supruzr> he's gone. bust out with the clowns and the drugs and the hookers.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
|
|||
<blazemore> linux gives good blow jobs
|
||||
<MadHatter> I thought your moms name was nancy?
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<+lisa`> well, sometimes, when the moon is right i like to print out the source code to the Linux kernel, scatter them on the floor, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<FatalError1> how to delete a directory in Linux?
|
||||
<FatalError1> delete entire contents with one command?
|
||||
* rm-rf isnt sure
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<splat1> ow ffs, you dl a key gen for a linux app and its a flipping win32 exe ????
|
||||
<reaper> splat1: ahahaha!
|
||||
<reaper> pull out vmware!
|
||||
<splat1> thats what i need the key for !!!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<psIRE> I had sex once, very tiring
|
||||
<Mulder> lol
|
||||
<Snipe> yeh me too.... oh wait no that was the time i installed linux
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
<Cedaie> Your ignorance isn't helping.
|
||||
<@KTottE> How am I ignorant?
|
||||
<Cedaie> <@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help *clap* *clap*
|
||||
<@KTottE> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant
|
||||
<@KTottE> Maybe the word you were searching for was http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?
|
||||
<Cedaie> yeah thats the one
|
||||
<Cedaie> Your arrogance isn't helping,
|
||||
<@KTottE> Neither is your ignorance
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
|
|||
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
|
||||
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
<redwyre> kez said you you are a whiney bitch
|
||||
<TraumaPony> Haha
|
||||
<redwyre> and that you smell
|
||||
<TraumaPony> Heh
|
||||
<redwyre> and that you're gay
|
||||
<TraumaPony> Lol
|
||||
<redwyre> and that you like visual basic
|
||||
<TraumaPony> THAT CUNT
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
[@smcn] like #bearcave. you wouldn't expect it to be a gay channel. YOU WOULD EXPECT IT TO BE A CHANNEL ABOUT BEARS WOULDN'T YOU
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our fucking school
|
||||
<apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
|
||||
<apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on me
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<hickhut> i have to write a speech on myself tomorrow
|
||||
<hickhut> so gay
|
||||
<mrquin27> there is a start
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
(sadik): nothing gayer than 2guys and a chick
|
||||
([sic]): well there's two guys and no chick
|
||||
([sic]): that's pretty gay
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
([Smaug]) im actualy homo-phobic
|
||||
([Smaug]) honest
|
||||
(+Porn-Star) he thinks anyway
|
||||
([Smaug]) once i saw a gay person and i just started running
|
||||
(+Porn-Star) u catch him?
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today... YAG-108
|
||||
<mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked like BOI-GAY
|
||||
<mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard :/
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
|
||||
<cornelius> yeah
|
||||
<cornelius> wait... no
|
||||
<cornelius> shit
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<ShadowFury-> whats command for new nick name
|
||||
* ChoBo is now known as gaynamehere
|
||||
<Whitehorn> '/nick
|
||||
<gaynamehere> err shit
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
<Shadowless> How can I tell if I'm circumsized or not? From everyone's descriptions, I'm assuming I am not. I think I even recall my father telling me they decided not to have it done to me because of problems that can develop. I'd ask but I'm a little too embarrassed. I'm very private with my body.
|
||||
<Shadowless> I do have quite a bit of loose skin below the glans, but it's still clearly separated when erect. When I was young though, before I was getting erections, the skin was always bunched up around the glans and I could easily slide it over. I am also extremely sensitive on the under-side of my shaft toward the top -- exactly where the skin is. I get ejaculate by just massaging this.
|
||||
<Shadowless> My sincere apologies if this was too graphic for anyone.
|
||||
<Shadowless> I'm tempted to just suck it up and use Google image search to find out.
|
||||
<Baloogan> dude, WHAT THE FUCK
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<+ChiMP> WHATS GAYER THAN ME AND STARTS WITH AN N!!?!?
|
||||
<@miz> nothing
|
||||
<@miz> :o
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<Dianuzza> there is a big gay community here in Paris
|
||||
<usnjay> yeah.
|
||||
<usnjay> it's called "Paris".
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
<DrSeuss> My dad was calling me gay and shit.
|
||||
<DrSeuss> He was like "Youre a stupid queer! You cant even get a girlfriend!"
|
||||
<DrSeuss> Thats when I said "Shut up dad, you dont know anything about my life!"
|
||||
<DrSeuss> ...
|
||||
<DrSeuss> So I grabbed my pom poms and left :(
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
|
|||
<Bobo> what's wrong with being a homosexual?
|
||||
<klong> it's gay
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<hailz_b> pepsi is gayyyyyyy
|
||||
<hailz_b> gayyyyyyyy
|
||||
<hailz_b> give me cock anyday
|
||||
<hailz_b> i mean coke!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
<DJTodd> Which is gayer? Pokemon or Pro Wrestling?
|
||||
<LarsC> wrestling.
|
||||
<Amoeba> Wrestling.
|
||||
<jt`> wrestling.
|
||||
<[prone]> wrestling.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<A_Witt> it's 1:45 am and I swear I just heard somone walking down the street playing a trumpet
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
<_alph4_> cedra when are you coming to live with me
|
||||
<cedra> I can't
|
||||
<_alph4_> :(
|
||||
<cedra> Unless you live here in this country
|
||||
<_alph4_> i do not
|
||||
<_alph4_> i live in the democratic republic of trump
|
||||
<cedra> What state
|
||||
<_alph4_> denial
|
||||
<_alph4_> sometimes confusion
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<xxx> There's apparently some Mexican restaurant somewhere in Europe that has the slogan, "Mexican food so authentic Donald Trump built 4 walls around it."
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
<Stormrider> I should bomb something
|
||||
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
|
||||
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
|
||||
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
|
||||
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
|
||||
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
|
||||
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
|
|||
<Fuzion> research has shown that men are less likely to attempt suicide, but more likely to succeed.
|
||||
<Kadaj> it's because they tend to use guns, while women use things like sleeping pills.
|
||||
<Fuzion> that just pisses me off.
|
||||
<Fuzion> the last thing you are ever going to do... would it kill you to do it right?!
|
||||
<Fuzion> ...
|
||||
<Fuzion> wait
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
-Global- [Logon News - Dec 29 2001] Welcome to Evolnet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the boys are fbi agents. but some of the men are really women. Enjoy!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<Sefy> Dude, if the FBI ever came to my door
|
||||
<Sefy> Im just gonna put in my other harddrive and boot in ME
|
||||
<Sefy> Just so i look like a complete retard
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
|
|||
<Koushiro> "Religion is the opiate of the masses." -- Karl Marx
|
||||
<Koushiro> "Winners don't do drugs." -- The FBI
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the way to the party to get some beer
|
||||
<acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and there's a parking guy writing a ticket
|
||||
<acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no standing zone
|
||||
<acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up his ass, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
|
||||
<Nuzzler> haha
|
||||
<acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he says something the guy writes another ticket
|
||||
<acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
|
||||
<dendyh0> ...
|
||||
<acidwar> and we both PISS ourselves laughing as we walk back to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor bastard with 14 parking fines :D
|
||||
<dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
|
||||
<Nuzzler> ROFL!!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
<Infe> what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
|
||||
<HomerJ> blows up
|
||||
<Andrigaar> Don't they explode?
|
||||
<Andrigaar> I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking battery acid.
|
||||
<Infe> i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for 'rechargeables' and ---
|
||||
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
|
||||
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<chiby> base? is that another word for acid?
|
||||
<spriggan> wtf, when's your chemistry exam?
|
||||
<chiby> tomorrow
|
||||
<spriggan> hahahahaha, oh man, you're screwed
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<taap> there is no such thing as .ng domain
|
||||
<`naut> What's Nigeria?
|
||||
<AcidX> .poor
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
|||
<kalani> Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed into a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves...Here's Tom with the weather.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
<rioter> i heard a car accident last night
|
||||
<rioter> and laughed
|
||||
<rioter> then my mum knocked on my door and was like your sister had car acident out side your door and you didnt come out
|
||||
<rioter> and i laughed even harder
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
<&||bass> GODDAMNIT
|
||||
<&||bass> i'm searching for how to do something in java
|
||||
<&||bass> i just checked in google
|
||||
<&||bass> you know what the results are?
|
||||
<&||bass> me posting in various forms asking how to fucking do it
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
|
|||
<IsoFlash> i dumped my girlfriend because she is fucking dumb
|
||||
<AciDBatH> woah sweet
|
||||
<AciDBatH> i dumped mine cuz she had a penis
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
<Paine> Ah shit guys, I'm fucked.
|
||||
<Criosys> ?
|
||||
<Paine> I was showing my mom the way to download and watch music on the computer downstairs (yeah, illegal, sue me). Anyway, I forgot to factor in the fact that there's an option box to "Search my computer for music files".
|
||||
<Criosys> and...?
|
||||
<Paine> What I DIDN'T know, was that it also adds video files. So about 5 minutes ago, I walked through the living room, saw my mom and sister at the computer watching the visualisations.
|
||||
<Paine> On the way back OUT of the room, the song changed, and all of a sudden, hardcore lesbian porn for my mom and sister to enjoy.
|
||||
<Paine> Now they're banging on the door so I'm turning MY music way up so they can't hear my crying >_<
|
||||
Loading…
Reference in New Issue