diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index fdaafbf..c9c911e 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -22,6 +22,17 @@ are voiced, and will allow IRC users to run `.players` to get a list of players
 on all the servers without flooding the channel (as badly as requesting a player
 list from every server). Currently not cross-channel and will ignore devoices.
 
+# Python scripts/applications that aren't strictly bots
+
+## miniirc_bootstrap.py
+
+Automatically installs pip (if required) and then runs
+`pip install --upgrade miniirc`. This should work if `pip` isn't in your PATH
+or if the `pip` in your PATH is for a different Python version.
+
+**You do not need this if you already have and know how to install packages
+with pip.**
+
 ## lua.py
 
 A wrapper around [lupa](https://github.com/scoder/lupa) to make creating
diff --git a/miniirc_bootstrap.py b/miniirc_bootstrap.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8da5d7f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/miniirc_bootstrap.py
@@ -0,0 +1,105 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env python3
+#
+# Bootstraps pip if required and installs miniirc.
+# Note that this is not required if you already have and know how to use pip,
+#   simply run 'pip install miniirc' instead.
+#
+# © 2019 by luk3yx.
+#
+
+import importlib.util, os, subprocess, sys, tempfile, urllib.request
+
+assert sys.version_info >= (3, 4)
+
+# Download a webpage
+def wget(url, raw=False):
+    try:
+        with urllib.request.urlopen(url) as f:
+            if raw:
+                return f.read()
+            else:
+                return f.read().decode('utf-8', 'replace')
+    except urllib.request.HTTPError:
+        return ''
+
+def bootstrap_pip():
+    """
+    Bootstrap installs pip. This will print messages to stdout/stderr.
+
+    This is required because some versions of Ubuntu do not have pip or
+    ensurepip installed with Python by default.
+    """
+
+    print('[This should never happen] Downloading pip...')
+    url = 'https://bootstrap.pypa.io/{}get-pip.py'
+
+    # If this machine is using an obsolete Python, download the
+    #   version-specific one.
+    major, minor = sys.version_info[:2]
+    pip = wget(url.format('{}.{}/'.format(major, minor)), raw=True)
+
+    if not pip:
+        # Apparently a Python3.4-specific pip doesn't exist yet, so download
+        #   the Python 3.3 one and upgrade.
+        if major == 3 and minor == 4:
+            pip = wget(url.format('3.3/'), raw=True)
+        else:
+            pip = wget(url.format(''), raw=True)
+        assert pip, 'Error downloading pip!'
+
+    print('[This should never happen] Installing pip...')
+    fd, filename = tempfile.mkstemp()
+    with open(fd, 'wb') as f:
+        f.write(pip)
+    del pip
+
+    subprocess.call((sys.executable, '--', filename, '--user'))
+    os.remove(filename)
+
+    if major == 3 and sys.version_info.minor == 4:
+        print('[This should never happen] Upgrading pip...')
+        pip_install('pip', upgrade=True)
+
+    print('[This should never happen] pip (should be) installed!')
+
+# Install a package
+def pip_install(*pkgs, upgrade=False):
+    """
+    Installs or upgrades packages using pip. `pip` will print to stdout/stderr.
+
+    This automatically calls bootstrap_pip() if required.
+    """
+
+    args = [sys.executable, '-m', 'pip', 'install']
+    if upgrade:
+        args.append('--upgrade')
+    args.extend(('--user', '--'))
+    args.extend(pkgs)
+    try:
+        assert subprocess.call(args) == 0
+    except (AssertionError, subprocess.CalledProcessError):
+        if importlib.util.find_spec('pip') is not None:
+            raise
+
+        print('pip is (somehow) not installed!')
+        bootstrap_pip()
+        assert subprocess.call(args) == 0
+
+# Install miniirc
+def main():
+    # Do nothing if arguments are specified.
+    import argparse
+    argparse.ArgumentParser().parse_args()
+
+    # Get miniirc
+    upgrade = True
+    try:
+        import miniirc
+    except ImportError:
+        upgrade = False
+
+    pip_install('miniirc', upgrade=upgrade)
+    print('miniirc (should be) installed!')
+
+if __name__ == '__main__':
+    main()