.FUNCT NAME-CASTLE FSET? HERE,TOUCHBIT /FALSE ZERO? CASTLES-SEEN \?ELS6 PUTP HERE,P?SDESC,STR?233 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS6: EQUAL? CASTLES-SEEN,1 \?ELS8 PUTP HERE,P?SDESC,STR?234 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS8: EQUAL? CASTLES-SEEN,2 \?CND4 PUTP HERE,P?SDESC,STR?235 ?CND4: INC 'CASTLES-SEEN RETURN CASTLES-SEEN .FUNCT CASTLE-NOTE EQUAL? CASTLES-SEEN,2 \?ELS5 PRINTI "(There do seem to be quite a few of them around here, eh?) " RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? CASTLES-SEEN,3 \FALSE PRINTI "(It's no wonder this section of Mars is considered the Ruined Castle Capital of the Solar System.) " RTRUE .FUNCT RUINED-CASTLE-1-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5 CALL NAME-CASTLE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "You stand amongst the ruins of a mighty castle. " CALL CASTLE-NOTE PRINTI "The only part of the castle that is more than a pile of rubble is to the north. A path leads out of the ruin to the south." RTRUE .FUNCT THRONE-ROOM-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE REMOVE MITRE MOVE MITRE,HERE PRINTI "This is the " PRINTD HERE PRINTI " of the once-potent " PRINTD MITRE PRINTI ", of legendary fame. Of course, the version you've probably heard is significantly warped from What Really Happened. In the diseased version of the legend commonly transmitted on Earth, Mitre is called Midas. The King was granted his wish that everything he touched would turn to gold. His greed caught up with him when he transformed even his own daughter into gold. " PRINTD MITRE PRINTI "'s wish was, in fact, that everything he touched would turn to" PRINT 45-DEGREE-ANGLE PRINTI "s. " ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS8 PRINTI "T" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "No one has ever explained this strange wish; the most likely hypothesis is a sexual fetish. In any case, t" ?CND6: PRINTI "he tale has a similar climax, with Mitre turning his own daughter into a" PRINT 45-DEGREE-ANGLE PRINTI "." RTRUE .FUNCT MITRE-CROWN-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS5 PRINT MORE-ROYAL-BLOOD RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE PRINTR "It's not very round for a crown." .FUNCT GOWN-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \FALSE CALL PERFORM-PRSA,THETA RTRUE .FUNCT MITRE-F,OARG=0 ZERO? OARG /?ELS5 EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " King Mitre sits upon the throne, looking " FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?ELS12 PRINTI "dejected and lonely. Next to him is a pile of" PRINT 45-DEGREE-ANGLE PRINTI "s. One stands out from the others, thanks to its golden hair and flowing white gown" JUMP ?CND10 ?ELS12: PRINTI "delirious with joy" ?CND10: PRINTI ". The main entrance of the throne room is to the south, but a tight opening leads north." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? MITRE,WINNER \?ELS16 EQUAL? PRSA,V?WHAT \?ELS25 EQUAL? PRSO,LGOP /?THN22 ?ELS25: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?ELS21 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS21 EQUAL? PRSI,LGOP \?ELS21 ?THN22: PRINTR """Leather fetishists, every one of them. Me, I'm not into fetishes.""" ?ELS21: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CHEER \?ELS29 EQUAL? PRSO,ROOMS \?ELS29 SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM-PRSA,MITRE SET 'WINNER,MITRE RTRUE ?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH \?ELS33 FSET? PRSO,TAKEBIT \?ELS33 EQUAL? PRSO,COMIC-BOOK,GARMENT /?ELS33 SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM,V?GIVE,PRSO,MITRE SET 'WINNER,MITRE RTRUE ?ELS33: PRINTI """I don't feel like talking. I'm too " FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?CND38 PRINTI "un" ?CND38: PRINTI "happy.""" CRLF CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS16: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS42 PRINTI "The old king looks very " FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?ELS45 PRINTI "down" JUMP ?CND43 ?ELS45: PRINTI "up" ?CND43: PRINTR ". His appearance is rather odd, since his clothes, his jewelry, his crown, even his very throne, all have a rather angular appearance." ?ELS42: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ASK-ABOUT \?ELS53 EQUAL? PRSI,THETA /?THN50 ?ELS53: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW \?ELS49 EQUAL? PRSO,THETA \?ELS49 ?THN50: FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?ELS60 PRINTR "The king weeps pitifully." ?ELS60: PRINTR "The king beams." ?ELS49: EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS64 EQUAL? PRSI,MITRE \?ELS64 REMOVE PRSO PRINTI "As Mitre touches" CALL TPRINT-PRSO PRINTI "," CALL TPRINT,PILE-OF-ANGLES PRINTR " becomes a bit larger." ?ELS64: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH \?ELS68 PRINTR "It only works the other way." ?ELS68: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHAKE-WITH \FALSE EQUAL? PRSO,HANDS \FALSE PRINTI "As you join the other angles in the pile, life becomes very boring. Two centuries later, following Mitre's death, the " PRINTD PILE-OF-ANGLES PRINTI " is sold to a geometry teacher on Baffin Island, who uses you to demonstrate bisections, trigonometric proofs, and basic picture framing techniques." CRLF CALL FINISH RSTACK .FUNCT THETA-F CALL ADJ-USED,A?NUMBER ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 EQUAL? P-NUMBER,45 /?ELS5 CALL NO-X-DEGREE-ANGLE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? THETA,WINNER \?ELS9 EQUAL? PRSA,V?WHAT \?ELS18 EQUAL? PRSO,LGOP /?THN15 ?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?ELS14 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS14 EQUAL? PRSI,LGOP \?ELS14 ?THN15: PRINTR """The travelling acrobatic troupe! I saw them while I was mooning on Phobos. Their costumes are made of pure Chomperhide leather.""" ?ELS14: PRINTR "The princess, whose recent experience has made her more obtuse, just looks at you dumbly." ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \?ELS24 FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?ELS24 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,PILE-OF-ANGLES RTRUE ?ELS24: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS28 FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?ELS33 PRINTR "The angle has the sort of golden hair and satiny robes that one normally associates with princesses." ?ELS33: PRINTR "The princess, once acute, is now cute." ?ELS28: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FUCK,V?KISS,V?TAKE /?THN38 EQUAL? PRSA,V?BEND,V?TOUCH \?ELS37 ?THN38: PRINTI "Mitre growls, ""Keep " PRINTD HANDS PRINTR "s off my daughter.""" ?ELS37: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MARRY \FALSE FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?ELS46 CALL WANT-CHILDREN,STR?237 RSTACK ?ELS46: PRINTR """Only one of royal blood shall bisect ... er, wed ... my Theta!"" bellows Mitre." .FUNCT WANT-CHILDREN,STRING SET 'AWAITING-REPLY,2 CALL QUEUE,I-REPLY,2 PRINTI "Would you really want " PRINT STRING PRINTR " children?" .FUNCT EIGHTY-TWO-DEGREE-ANGLE-F CALL ADJ-USED,A?NUMBER ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 EQUAL? P-NUMBER,82 /?ELS5 CALL NO-X-DEGREE-ANGLE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \FALSE FSET? EIGHTY-TWO-DEGREE-ANGLE,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE PRINTR "82 degrees." .FUNCT NO-X-DEGREE-ANGLE PRINT YOU-CANT-SEE-ANY PRINTN P-NUMBER PRINTR " degree angle here!" .FUNCT GENERIC-ANGLE-F FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT /FALSE RETURN EIGHTY-TWO-DEGREE-ANGLE .FUNCT PILE-OF-ANGLES-F CALL ADJ-USED,A?NUMBER ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 EQUAL? P-NUMBER,45 /?ELS5 CALL NO-X-DEGREE-ANGLE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?COUNT \?ELS9 PRINTR "Lots." ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS11 PRINTI "The " PRINTD PILE-OF-ANGLES PRINTI " is too big to carry." FSET? THETA,MUNGBIT \?CND12 PRINTI " Besides, other than" CALL TPRINT,THETA PRINTI ", none of them are interesting." ?CND12: CRLF RTRUE ?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \FALSE PRINTR "45 degrees." .FUNCT FROG-CROWN-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS5 PRINT MORE-ROYAL-BLOOD RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE PRINTR "It's tiny." .FUNCT RUINED-CASTLE-2-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5 FCLEAR RUINED-CASTLE-2,MUNGBIT CALL NAME-CASTLE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "This ancient castle now lies in ruins. " CALL CASTLE-NOTE PRINTI "All that remains of its once-proud ramparts are dust and rubble, and an occasional stone block. A path leads away from the ruin to the west" CALL UNCHARTABLE-DESERT,STR?239 RSTACK .FUNCT UNCHARTABLE-DESERT,STRING PRINTI ". To the " PRINT STRING PRINTI ": unchartable desert." RTRUE .FUNCT FROG-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?LISTEN,V?TELL /?THN6 EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS5 EQUAL? PRSI,FROG \?ELS5 ?THN6: PRINTI """Ribit.""" CRLF EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL \TRUE CALL STOP RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SUCK,V?TASTE,V?EAT /?THN15 EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \?ELS14 ?THN15: PRINT YECHH RTRUE ?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS18 PRINTR "You realize what aroused your attention: the tiny gold crown on the frog's head. The frog is otherwise totally ordinary. Ordinary for a frog, that is. By any other measure it is a repulsive creature, with swollen eyes, oozing warts, slimy skin, and a grating croak." ?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH \?ELS20 PRINTI "Huge, ugly warts cover every inch of " PRINTD YOUR-BODY ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS23 PRINTI ", but" JUMP ?CND21 ?ELS23: PRINTI ". Fortunately for your sex life," ?CND21: PRINTR " they quickly fade away." ?ELS20: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MARRY \?ELS27 CALL WANT-CHILDREN,STR?241 RSTACK ?ELS27: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \FALSE PRINTI "You lean forward" FSET? EYES,MUNGBIT \?ELS34 PRINTI " with " PRINTD EYES PRINTI " " EQUAL? EYES,HAND-COVER \?ELS37 PRINTI "covered" JUMP ?CND35 ?ELS37: PRINTI "closed" ?CND35: FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT \?ELS44 FSET? EARS,MUNGBIT \?ELS47 PRINTI "," JUMP ?CND45 ?ELS47: PRINTI " and" ?CND45: PRINTI " " PRINTD NOSE PRINTI " shut" FSET? EARS,MUNGBIT \?ELS54 FSET? MOUTH,MUNGBIT \?ELS57 PRINTI "," JUMP ?CND55 ?ELS57: PRINTI " and" ?CND55: PRINTI " " PRINTD EARS PRINTI " " EQUAL? EARS,HAND-COVER \?ELS62 PRINTI "covered" JUMP ?CND60 ?ELS62: PRINTI "stuffed up" ?CND60: FSET? MOUTH,MUNGBIT \?ELS69 CALL FROG-SEX-SCENE RTRUE ?ELS69: PRINT ABOUT-TO-KISS PRINTR "the thought of slimy frog lips pressing against your own makes you shudder away." ?ELS54: PRINT ABOUT-TO-KISS PRINTR "the creature lets loose a loud, croaking ""ribit."" You admit that you are incapable of kissing under such circumstances." ?ELS44: PRINT ABOUT-TO-KISS PRINTR "the stench of old pond scum overwhelms you, and you lurch back, retching." ?ELS34: PRINT ABOUT-TO-KISS PRINTR "the sight of its green warts and slimy skin make it impossible to continue." .FUNCT FROG-SEX-SCENE MOVE FROG,LOCAL-GLOBALS MOVE BLENDER,HERE CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,17,17,TRUE-VALUE CALL OPEN-EYES-AND-REMOVE-HANDS PRINTI " and your lips smeared with balm. Planting " PRINTD MOUTH PRINTI " solidly against the frog's, you kiss deeply. " ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS3 PRINTI "The kiss is surprisingly pleasant, until you notice that you're embracing a " ZERO? MALE /?ELS6 PRINTI "beautiful princess. Sh" JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS6: PRINTI "handsome prince. H" ?CND4: PRINTI "e leaps back, blushing deeply. ""We're ... we're not married,"" " CALL SHE-HE PRINTI " stammers. Then, still reddening, " CALL SHE-HE PRINTI " vanishes into thin air! Y" JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: FSET RUINED-CASTLE-2,MUNGBIT PRINTI "When you feel a tongue sliding into " PRINTD MOUTH PRINTI ", revulsion gives way to pleasure, as the no-longer-enchanted but quite enchanting prince" ZERO? MALE /?CND12 PRINTI "ss" ?CND12: PRINTI " presses against you. " EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS18 PRINTI "Some time later, after the prince" ZERO? MALE /?CND19 PRINTI "ss" ?CND19: PRINTI " has departed..." JUMP ?CND16 ?ELS18: ZERO? MALE /?ELS27 PRINTI "Rubbing her hot, naked body against yours, s" JUMP ?CND25 ?ELS27: PRINTI "As your arms grip his naked, muscular back, " ?CND25: PRINTI "he effortlessly slips off your " CALL DPRINT,GARMENT PRINTI ". A warm and wild feeling springs from your loins, spreading like a fiery potion through your veins. Within moments you are joined in passionate love, and just as a quick and lustful orgasm seems inevitable, a force crackles in the air, and you are alone, naked, sweating, and unsatisfied." ?CND16: CRLF PRINTI " As you gather up your garment and put it on, y" ?CND1: PRINTI "ou notice" CALL APRINT,BLENDER PRINTI " on the ground. " PRINT ITS-ENGRAVED IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?CND31 PRINTI " " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI " is at the other end of the ruin, sifting through some rubble, oblivious to your ""experience.""" ?CND31: CRLF RTRUE .FUNCT BLENDER-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?READ \?ELS5 ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL /?ELS8 PRINTI """Dearest," CRLF EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?ELS11 PRINTI " Sorry to leave so abruptly; p" JUMP ?CND9 ?ELS11: PRINTI " P" ?CND9: PRINTI "erhaps some day we will meet again" EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND14 PRINTI ", and finish what we began" ?CND14: PRINTI ". " JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI """" ?CND6: PRINTR "Please accept this token of my gratitude for delivering me from enchantment.""" ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS20 CALL NOUN-USED,W?ENGRAV,BLENDER ZERO? STACK /?ELS25 CALL PERFORM,V?READ,BLENDER RTRUE ?ELS25: PRINT ITS-ENGRAVED CRLF RTRUE ?ELS20: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ON \?ELS29 PRINTR """Whirr.""" ?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS31 PRINTR "It's empty." ?ELS31: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \FALSE EQUAL? PRSI,BLENDER \FALSE PRINTI "But" CALL TPRINT-PRSO PRINTR " doesn't need blending." .FUNCT RUINED-CASTLE-3-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5 CALL NAME-CASTLE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "Wind whistles among the fallen archways, crumbled balustrades, and black circle of this ruined castle. " CALL CASTLE-NOTE PRINTI "Paths lead east and northwest through the rubble." RTRUE .FUNCT MOUSE-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLICK \?ELS5 SET 'AWAITING-REPLY,2 CALL QUEUE,I-REPLY,2 PRINTR "You expect maybe a window to open?" ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW \?ELS7 EQUAL? PRSO,PAINTING \?ELS7 FSET? PAINTING,UNTEEDBIT /?ELS7 FCLEAR MOUSE,TRYTAKEBIT FSET MOUSE,TOUCHBIT CALL QUEUE,I-MOUSE,2 PRINTR "The mouse freezes with fear." ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS11 EQUAL? PRSI,MOUSE \?ELS11 PRINTR "Marsmice, like earthmice, prefer cheese." ?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CATCH \?ELS15 CALL PERFORM,V?TAKE,MOUSE RTRUE ?ELS15: CALL TOUCHING?,MOUSE ZERO? STACK /?ELS17 IN? MOUSE,HERE \?ELS17 FSET? MOUSE,TRYTAKEBIT \?ELS17 PRINTR "The little fellow scurries easily away from you." ?ELS17: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FOLLOW \?ELS21 EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?CHASE \?ELS21 IN? MOUSE,HERE \?ELS21 FSET? MOUSE,TRYTAKEBIT \?ELS21 CALL PERFORM,V?TAKE,MOUSE RTRUE ?ELS21: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS25 FSET? MOUSE,MUNGBIT /?ELS25 CALL CCOUNT,PROTAGONIST LESS? STACK,11 \?ELS25 FSET MOUSE,MUNGBIT CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,14,9,TRUE-VALUE RFALSE ?ELS25: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \?ELS29 PRINTR "Tiny." ?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH \FALSE PRINTR "The mouse squeaks happily." .FUNCT I-MOUSE FSET MOUSE,TRYTAKEBIT IN? MOUSE,RUINED-CASTLE-1 \?CND1 FCLEAR MOUSE,TOUCHBIT ?CND1: IN? MOUSE,HERE \FALSE PRINTR " The mouse relaxes and begins scampering about." .FUNCT ROYAL-DOCKS-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS8 PRINTI "This dock juts" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "During the peak of King Mitre's reign, a cruel joke went around the kingdom that Mitre's two greatest loves were his Royal Docks and his Royal Ducks. The joke was never very good and has long since been forgotten, and the ducks perished years ago from a sexually-transmitted disease, but the docks remain, jutting" ?CND6: PRINTI " into a wide Martian Canal which flows from west to east. Behind you, to the south, is a ruined castle." RTRUE .FUNCT BARGE-F,OARG=0 ZERO? OARG /?ELS5 EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " A barge, hand-crafted from fine Martian cedarwood, is " EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS14 PRINTI "floating nearby." RTRUE ?ELS14: PRINTI "moored at the end of the dock." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS18 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS18 EQUAL? RAFT-LOC-NUM,BARGE-LOC-NUM /?ELS18 CALL CANT-SEE,BARGE RSTACK ?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SINK \?ELS22 PRINTR "The barge is unsinkable. (Then again, so was the Titanic.)" ?ELS22: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LAUNCH,V?UNTIE \?ELS24 PRINTI "The barge isn't moored" IN? BARGE,CANAL /?CND25 PRINTI " with ropes" ?CND25: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS24: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS29 CALL NOUN-USED,W?CONTROL,BARGE ZERO? STACK /?ELS34 PRINTI "The controls consist of a " PRINTD ORANGE-BUTTON PRINTI ", and a " PRINTD PURPLE-BUTTON PRINTR ". Both buttons have writing on them." ?ELS34: PRINTI "This large barge could host a host of royal guests." EQUAL? HERE,CANAL /?CND37 PRINTI " The barge rests immobile at the dockside, despite a strong current and no visible mooring lines." ?CND37: PRINTI " There are some simple controls on the side of the barge" EQUAL? HERE,CANAL /?CND40 PRINTI " nearest the dock" ?CND40: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS29: EQUAL? PRSA,V?READ \?ELS44 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,ORANGE-BUTTON CALL PERFORM-PRSA,PURPLE-BUTTON RTRUE ?ELS44: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUSH \?ELS46 CALL NOUN-USED,W?CONTROL,BARGE ZERO? STACK /?ELS46 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,ORANGE-BUTTON PRINTI " " CALL PERFORM-PRSA,PURPLE-BUTTON RTRUE ?ELS46: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SET \?ELS50 PRINT NO-STEERING RTRUE ?ELS50: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE,V?BOARD \?ELS52 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS52 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS52 MOVE PROTAGONIST,BARGE PRINTI "Grabbing onto the barge, you" CALL AND-SIDEKICK,BARGE MOVE RAFT,PROTAGONIST SET 'RAFT-HELD,FALSE-VALUE PRINTI " climb in" PRINT KEEP-IT-FROM-FLOATING-AWAY RTRUE ?ELS52: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON \?ELS56 EQUAL? PRSI,BARGE \?ELS56 CALL PERFORM,V?PUT,PRSO,BARGE RTRUE ?ELS56: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \?ELS60 CALL NO-SCRATCH-N-SNIFF,STR?245 RSTACK ?ELS60: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHAKE \?ELS62 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?ELS62 CALL SHAKE-BOAT RSTACK ?ELS62: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LAND \FALSE SET 'AWAITING-REPLY,2 CALL QUEUE,I-REPLY,2 PRINTI "Read any " PRINTD ORANGE-BUTTON PRINTR "s lately?" .FUNCT SHAKE-BOAT PRINTI "You knock yourself overboard." CRLF CRLF CALL PERFORM,V?BOARD,CANAL-OBJECT RTRUE .FUNCT ORANGE-BUTTON-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?READ \?ELS5 PRINTI "The " PRINTD ORANGE-BUTTON PRINTI " reads: MagnetoMoor O" ZERO? MOORING-ON /?ELS8 PRINTI "n" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "ff" ?CND6: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUSH \FALSE ZERO? MOORING-ON /?ELS16 SET 'MOORING-ON,FALSE-VALUE JUMP ?CND14 ?ELS16: SET 'MOORING-ON,TRUE-VALUE ?CND14: PRINT WRITING-CHANGES PRINTI "." IN? BARGE,CANAL /?ELS22 ZERO? MOORING-ON \?ELS22 EQUAL? HERE,ICY-DOCK /?ELS22 MOVE BARGE,CANAL ZERO? RAFT-HELD /?CND25 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?CND25 MOVE RAFT,CANAL SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,BARGE-LOC-NUM ?CND25: FCLEAR BARGE,NDESCBIT CALL QUEUE,I-CANAL,-1 PRINTI " The barge s" ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS32 PRINTI "hoot" JUMP ?CND30 ?ELS32: PRINTI "lide" ?CND30: PRINTI "s away from the dock, into the deeper waters of the canal." CRLF IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \TRUE CRLF CALL GOTO,BARGE RTRUE ?ELS22: CALL BARGE-DOCKS ZERO? STACK \TRUE CRLF RTRUE .FUNCT PURPLE-BUTTON-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?READ \?ELS5 PRINTI "The " PRINTD PURPLE-BUTTON PRINTI " reads: " ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS8 PRINTI "Full Speed Ahead" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "Go With The Flow" ?CND6: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUSH \FALSE PRINT WRITING-CHANGES ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS16 SET 'BARGE-UNDER-POWER,FALSE-VALUE JUMP ?CND14 ?ELS16: SET 'BARGE-UNDER-POWER,TRUE-VALUE IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?CND14 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?CND14 CALL BARGE-FORGES-AHEAD ?CND14: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE .FUNCT BARGE-FORGES-AHEAD LESS? BARGE-LOC-NUM,16 \?ELS3 ZERO? MOORING-ON /?ELS3 SET 'BARGE-LOC-NUM,15 MOVE BARGE,WATTZ-UPP-DOCK JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: SET 'BARGE-LOC-NUM,36 MOVE BARGE,ICY-DOCK ?CND1: PRINTI ". The barge, under power, forges ahead and disappears from sight" RTRUE .FUNCT CANAL-LOC EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \FALSE IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?ELS7 RETURN BARGE-LOC-NUM ?ELS7: RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM .FUNCT SET-RAFT-LOC EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS5 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,BARGE-LOC-NUM RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM ?ELS5: EQUAL? HERE,HICKORY-AND-DICKORY-DOCK \?ELS7 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,-1 RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM ?ELS7: EQUAL? HERE,ROYAL-DOCKS \?ELS9 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,1 RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM ?ELS9: EQUAL? HERE,BABY-DOCK \?ELS11 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,6 RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM ?ELS11: EQUAL? HERE,DONALD-DOCK \?ELS13 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,7 RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM ?ELS13: EQUAL? HERE,WATTZ-UPP-DOCK \?ELS15 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,15 RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM ?ELS15: SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,10 RETURN RAFT-LOC-NUM .FUNCT CANAL-OBJECT-F CALL ADJ-USED,A?SMALL ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 CALL UNIMPORTANT-THING-F RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? HERE,DUNETOP,MINARET \?ELS7 CALL TOUCHING?,CANAL-OBJECT ZERO? STACK /?ELS7 CALL CANT-REACH,CANAL-OBJECT RSTACK ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SWIM,V?ENTER,V?BOARD /?THN12 EQUAL? PRSA,V?CRAWL-UNDER \?ELS11 ?THN12: CALL UNTOUCHABLE?,CANAL-OBJECT ZERO? STACK /?ELS16 CALL CANT-REACH,CANAL-OBJECT JUMP ?CND14 ?ELS16: EQUAL? HERE,ICY-DOCK \?ELS18 PRINTI "The current sucks you under" EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND19 PRINTI ", which really sucks" ?CND19: CALL JIGS-UP,STR?246 JUMP ?CND14 ?ELS18: PRINTI "In The Canal As you swim in the cool waters of the canal, a slimy tentacle touches you, convincing you that it's safer back " ?CND14: LOC PROTAGONIST EQUAL? STACK,RAFT,BARGE \?ELS26 PRINTI "in" LOC PROTAGONIST CALL TRPRINT,STACK JUMP ?CND24 ?ELS26: PRINTI "on the dock." CRLF ?CND24: CRLF CALL DESCRIBE-ROOM RSTACK ?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CROSS \?ELS30 CALL PERFORM,V?ENTER,CANAL-OBJECT RTRUE ?ELS30: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS32 EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?THROW \?ELS32 EQUAL? PRSO,RAFT \?ELS32 FSET? RAFT,UNTEEDBIT /?ELS32 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT /?ELS32 MOVE RAFT,HERE SET 'RAFT-HELD,TRUE-VALUE CALL PERFORM,V?DROP,RAFT RTRUE ?ELS32: EQUAL? PRSA,V?THROW,V?PUT \?ELS36 EQUAL? PRSI,CANAL-OBJECT \?ELS36 EQUAL? PRSO,RAFT \?ELS43 FSET? RAFT,UNTEEDBIT /?THN49 FSET? RAFT,MUNGBIT \?ELS48 ?THN49: REMOVE RAFT PRINTI "It sinks like a stone." FSET? RAFT,UNTEEDBIT \?CND51 PRINTI " I guess a raf doesn't float nearly as well as a raft." ?CND51: CRLF RTRUE ?ELS48: ZERO? RAFT-HELD \?THN56 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?ELS55 ?THN56: PRINT ALREADY-IS RTRUE ?ELS55: PRINTI "The raft is now " EQUAL? HERE,ICY-DOCK \?ELS64 MOVE RAFT,HERE PRINTI "in the water" PRINT PINNED RTRUE ?ELS64: SET 'RAFT-HELD,TRUE-VALUE MOVE RAFT,HERE EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?CND67 SET 'RAFT-LOC-NUM,BARGE-LOC-NUM ?CND67: PRINTI "bobbing in the canal." EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?THN73 ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?CND70 ?THN73: PRINTI " If you weren't holding it, it would surely be " EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS77 PRINTI "left behind." JUMP ?CND70 ?ELS77: PRINTI "carried away." ?CND70: CRLF RTRUE ?ELS43: REMOVE PRSO EQUAL? PRSO,TORCH \?ELS84 FSET? TORCH,ONBIT \?ELS84 PRINTI """Phfffft!" JUMP ?CND82 ?ELS84: PRINTI """Glub." ?CND82: PRINTI """ " FSET? PRSO,PLURALBIT \?ELS91 PRINTI "They're" JUMP ?CND89 ?ELS91: PRINTI "It's" ?CND89: PRINTI " gone" EQUAL? PRSO,BABY /?THN97 CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,BABY,PRSO ZERO? STACK /?CND94 ?THN97: PRINTI ", you heartless baby murderer, you" ?CND94: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS36: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \FALSE CALL PERFORM-PRSA,WATER RTRUE .FUNCT DOCK-OBJECT-F,NUM,DOCK-ROOM CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?CND1 EQUAL? NUM,-1,1,6 /?CND1 EQUAL? NUM,7,10,15 /?CND1 CALL CANT-SEE,DOCK-OBJECT RTRUE ?CND1: EQUAL? HERE,DUNETOP,MINARET \?ELS10 CALL TOUCHING?,DOCK-OBJECT ZERO? STACK /?ELS10 PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE RTRUE ?ELS10: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?TAKE \?ELS14 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS14 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS14 PRINTI "You lunge for the dock and secure a handhold. An agile clamber places you" CALL AND-SIDEKICK PRINTI " on the dock" PRINT KEEP-IT-FROM-FLOATING-AWAY CRLF SET 'RAFT-WAIT,FALSE-VALUE SET 'DONT-PRINT-VEHICLE,TRUE-VALUE CALL SET-DOCK-ROOM,RAFT-LOC-NUM >DOCK-ROOM CALL GOTO,DOCK-ROOM SET 'DONT-PRINT-VEHICLE,FALSE-VALUE IN? SIDEKICK,RAFT \?CND17 MOVE SIDEKICK,HERE ?CND17: MOVE RAFT,HERE RTRUE ?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD \?ELS21 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS26 CALL DO-FIRST,STR?247 RSTACK ?ELS26: IN? PROTAGONIST,HERE \?ELS28 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS28: LOC PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM,V?DISEMBARK,STACK RTRUE ?ELS21: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE-OFF \?ELS32 EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?GET \?ELS32 CALL PERFORM,V?BOARD,CANAL-OBJECT RTRUE ?ELS32: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON,V?PUT \?ELS36 EQUAL? PRSI,DOCK-OBJECT \?ELS36 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL /?ELS36 CALL PERFORM,V?PUT-ON,PRSO,GROUND RTRUE ?ELS36: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LEAP-OFF \?ELS40 EQUAL? HERE,DUNETOP,CANAL \?ELS45 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS45: CALL PERFORM,V?ENTER,CANAL-OBJECT RTRUE ?ELS40: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \?ELS49 PRINT NOTHING-NEW RTRUE ?ELS49: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,CANAL,MINARET,DUNETOP /FALSE CALL V-LOOK RSTACK .FUNCT DUNES-F EQUAL? HERE,MINARET \?ELS5 CALL TOUCHING?,DUNES ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 CALL CANT-REACH,DUNES RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLIMB-UP,V?CLIMB \?ELS9 EQUAL? HERE,DUNETOP \?ELS14 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS14: EQUAL? HERE,CANALVIEW-MALL,DONALD-DOCK \?ELS16 CALL DO-WALK,P?UP RSTACK ?ELS16: PRINTR "This dune is too steep." ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLIMB-DOWN \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,DUNETOP \FALSE CALL DO-WALK,P?DOWN RSTACK .FUNCT CANAL-F,RARG,NUM,DOCK-DIR EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM CALL SET-DOCK-DIR,NUM >DOCK-DIR PRINTI "The " LOC PROTAGONIST CALL DPRINT,STACK PRINTI " rocks gently in the current of a wide canal." EQUAL? NUM,1,7,15 /?THN9 EQUAL? NUM,-1,6 /?THN9 EQUAL? NUM,10 \?ELS8 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS8 ?THN9: PRINTI " A dock is " IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS15 PRINTI "close enough to grab" JUMP ?CND13 ?ELS15: PRINTI "visible" ?CND13: PRINTI " on the " PRINT DOCK-DIR PRINTI "ern shore." JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: EQUAL? NUM,10 \?ELS19 PRINTI " There are docks on both banks." JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS19: PRINTI " The banks of the canal are steep and sandy." ?CND6: CALL BARGE-VISIBLE-AT-DOCK ZERO? STACK /?CND22 PRINTI " A " PRINTD BARGE PRINTI " is moored to the dock" EQUAL? NUM,10 \?CND25 PRINTI " on the " IN? BARGE,ABANDONED-DOCK \?ELS30 PRINTI "we" JUMP ?CND28 ?ELS30: PRINTI "ea" ?CND28: PRINTI "stern shore" ?CND25: PRINTI "." ?CND22: EQUAL? NUM,5,12,29 \?ELS35 PRINTI " A smaller canal flows diagonally into this one, and the channel widens slightly to accommodate the heavier flow." JUMP ?CND33 ?ELS35: EQUAL? NUM,9,10 \?CND33 PRINTI " Just " EQUAL? NUM,9 \?ELS40 PRINTI "ahead" JUMP ?CND38 ?ELS40: PRINTI "behind" ?CND38: PRINTI ", the canal curves sharply to the " EQUAL? NUM,9 \?ELS45 PRINTI "south." JUMP ?CND33 ?ELS45: PRINTI "west." ?CND33: EQUAL? NUM,4,5,8 \?CND48 PRINTI " Sculpted reddish " PRINTD DUNES PRINTI " rise into view beyond the banks of the canal." ?CND48: RANDOM 100 LESS? 15,STACK /?CND51 PRINTI " The dark clouds of a sandstorm are visible on the horizon." ?CND51: EQUAL? NUM,15 \?CND54 PRINTI " A red warning buoy is anchored nearby. A sign atop the swaying buoy shows a skull and crossbones." ?CND54: GRTR? NUM,12 \TRUE LESS? NUM,32 \TRUE EQUAL? NUM,31 \?ELS64 CRLF PRINTI " " CALL DESCRIBE-POWER-TRANSMITTER,31 FSET? POWER-TRANSMITTER,TOUCHBIT /TRUE FSET POWER-TRANSMITTER,TOUCHBIT CRLF PRINTI " As the " LOC PROTAGONIST CALL DPRINT,STACK PRINTI " passes through the beam, you feel a tingling from every cell in " PRINTD YOUR-BODY PRINTI "." RTRUE ?ELS64: PRINTI " " CALL DESCRIBE-POWER-TRANSMITTER,NUM RTRUE .FUNCT BARGE-VISIBLE-AT-DOCK,NUM CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM EQUAL? NUM,1 \?ELS9 IN? BARGE,ROYAL-DOCKS /TRUE ?ELS9: EQUAL? NUM,6 \?ELS11 IN? BARGE,BABY-DOCK /TRUE ?ELS11: EQUAL? NUM,7 \?ELS13 IN? BARGE,DONALD-DOCK /TRUE ?ELS13: EQUAL? NUM,10 \?ELS15 LOC BARGE EQUAL? STACK,MY-KIND-OF-DOCK,ABANDONED-DOCK /TRUE ?ELS15: EQUAL? NUM,15 \FALSE IN? BARGE,WATTZ-UPP-DOCK \FALSE RTRUE .FUNCT BARGE-FROM-CANAL-F CALL BARGE-VISIBLE-AT-DOCK ZERO? STACK \?ELS5 CALL CANT-SEE,PSEUDO-OBJECT RSTACK ?ELS5: CALL TOUCHING?,PSEUDO-OBJECT ZERO? STACK /FALSE CALL CANT-REACH,PSEUDO-OBJECT RSTACK .FUNCT BUOY-F,NUM CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM EQUAL? NUM,15 /?ELS5 EQUAL? HERE,WATTZ-UPP-DOCK /?ELS5 CALL CANT-SEE,PSEUDO-OBJECT RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?READ \?ELS9 CALL PERFORM,V?READ,SIGN RTRUE ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?OPEN,V?TAKE \?ELS11 PRINT YOU-CANT EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS14 PRINTI "take" JUMP ?CND12 ?ELS14: PRINTI "open" ?CND12: PRINTR " a buoy! Where'd you get such a silly idea?" ?ELS11: CALL TOUCHING?,PSEUDO-OBJECT ZERO? STACK /FALSE CALL CANT-REACH,PSEUDO-OBJECT RSTACK .FUNCT I-CANAL,NUM=0,MOVED=0 IN? BARGE,CANAL /?CND1 IN? RAFT,CANAL /?CND1 CALL DEQUEUE,I-CANAL RFALSE ?CND1: IN? BARGE,CANAL \?CND6 ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER \?THN12 ZERO? BARGE-WAIT /?ELS11 ?THN12: IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?CND14 SET 'MOVED,TRUE-VALUE ?CND14: SET 'BARGE-WAIT,FALSE-VALUE ZERO? RAFT-HELD /?CND17 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?CND17 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?CND17 INC 'RAFT-LOC-NUM ?CND17: INC 'BARGE-LOC-NUM JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS11: SET 'BARGE-WAIT,TRUE-VALUE ?CND6: IN? RAFT,CANAL \?CND24 ZERO? RAFT-HELD \?CND24 ZERO? RAFT-WAIT /?ELS31 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?CND33 SET 'MOVED,TRUE-VALUE ?CND33: SET 'RAFT-WAIT,FALSE-VALUE INC 'RAFT-LOC-NUM JUMP ?CND24 ?ELS31: SET 'RAFT-WAIT,TRUE-VALUE ?CND24: CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM EQUAL? NUM,31 \?CND38 CALL QUEUED?,I-ION-DEATH ZERO? STACK \?CND38 LOC PROTAGONIST IN? SIDEKICK,STACK \?CND43 SET 'SIDEKICK-IONIZED,TRUE-VALUE ?CND43: CALL QUEUE,I-ION-DEATH,6 ?CND38: LESS? NUM,17 \?ELS48 PUTP POWER-TRANSMITTER,P?SDESC,STR?248 JUMP ?CND46 ?ELS48: GRTR? NUM,30 \?ELS50 PUTP POWER-TRANSMITTER,P?SDESC,STR?249 JUMP ?CND46 ?ELS50: PUTP POWER-TRANSMITTER,P?SDESC,STR?250 ?CND46: EQUAL? HERE,CANAL /?ELS55 GRTR? BARGE-LOC-NUM,36 \?CND56 MOVE BARGE,ICY-DOCK ZERO? RAFT-HELD /?CND56 MOVE RAFT,ICY-DOCK ?CND56: GRTR? RAFT-LOC-NUM,36 \?CND63 MOVE RAFT,ICY-DOCK ?CND63: CALL BARGE-DOCKS RFALSE ?ELS55: ZERO? MOVED /FALSE ?CND53: PRINTI " The " LOC PROTAGONIST CALL DPRINT,STACK PRINTI " " EQUAL? NUM,10 \?ELS70 ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS73 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?ELS73 SET 'NEARER-DOCK,MY-KIND-OF-DOCK PRINTI "chugs quickly" JUMP ?CND71 ?ELS73: SET 'NEARER-DOCK,ABANDONED-DOCK PRINTI "drifts slowly" ?CND71: PRINTI " around the bend, ending up near the " ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS80 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?ELS80 PRINTI "ea" JUMP ?CND78 ?ELS80: PRINTI "we" ?CND78: PRINTI "stern bank of" JUMP ?CND68 ?ELS70: ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS89 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?ELS89 PRINTI "barges" JUMP ?CND87 ?ELS89: PRINTI "drifts" ?CND87: PRINTI " further down" ?CND68: PRINTI " the canal." EQUAL? NUM,36 \?CND94 PRINTI " A wide dock spans the canal to the south. The " LOC PROTAGONIST CALL DPRINT,STACK PRINTI " butts up against it" PRINT PINNED CRLF IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS99 IN? BARGE,CANAL \?ELS99 EQUAL? BARGE-LOC-NUM,36 \?ELS99 MOVE BARGE,ICY-DOCK JUMP ?CND97 ?ELS99: IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?CND97 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?CND97 EQUAL? RAFT-LOC-NUM,36 \?CND97 MOVE BARGE,ICY-DOCK ?CND97: LOC PROTAGONIST MOVE STACK,ICY-DOCK LOC PROTAGONIST CALL GOTO,STACK RTRUE ?CND94: EQUAL? HAND-COVER,EYES /?THN109 FSET? EYES,MUNGBIT \?ELS108 ?THN109: PRINTI " " PRINT YOU-CANT PRINTI "see a thing, of course." CRLF JUMP ?CND106 ?ELS108: CRLF CRLF CALL DESCRIBE-ROOM ?CND106: EQUAL? BARGE-LOC-NUM,RAFT-LOC-NUM \?CND113 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?CND113 IN? BARGE,CANAL \?CND113 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS120 CALL BARGE-F,M-OBJDESC CRLF JUMP ?CND113 ?ELS120: CALL RAFT-F,M-OBJDESC CRLF ?CND113: CALL BARGE-DOCKS,TRUE-VALUE RTRUE .FUNCT POWER-TRANSMITTER-F,NUM=0 CALL CANAL-LOC >NUM GRTR? NUM,31 /?THN6 LESS? NUM,13 \?ELS5 ?THN6: CALL CANT-SEE,POWER-TRANSMITTER RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS9 CALL DESCRIBE-POWER-TRANSMITTER,NUM CRLF RTRUE ?ELS9: CALL TOUCHING?,POWER-TRANSMITTER ZERO? STACK /FALSE CALL CANT-REACH,POWER-TRANSMITTER RSTACK .FUNCT DESCRIBE-POWER-TRANSMITTER,NUM EQUAL? NUM,31 \?ELS5 PRINTI "The " LOC PROTAGONIST CALL DPRINT,STACK PRINTI " is now passing the metal structure that has been looming closer for the last hour. Its size and power are overwhelming; a relic of Martian technology at its height. Vacuum tubes the size of telephone booths produce power that was once beamed all over Mars. But now, in the twilight of the planet's civilization, the machine's base has rusted away. The massive tower now shoots its ion power beam uselessly across the canal, into the sand of the opposite bank." RTRUE ?ELS5: LESS? NUM,17 \?ELS7 PRINTI "You spy a metallic glint, far ahead." RTRUE ?ELS7: GRTR? NUM,27 \?ELS9 PRINTI "A massive machine, unlike anything you've ever seen, rises from the shore, looming closer with each passing minute." RTRUE ?ELS9: PRINTI "A metal structure, glinting in the weak Martian sunlight, is visible at the edge of the canal" LESS? NUM,21 \?ELS16 PRINTI ", but far, far ahead." RTRUE ?ELS16: LESS? NUM,24 \?ELS18 PRINTI " far ahead of you." RTRUE ?ELS18: PRINTI ", a bit too far to make out any details." RTRUE .FUNCT I-ION-DEATH INC 'ION-DEATH-COUNTER PRINTI " " GRTR? ION-DEATH-COUNTER,4 \?ELS5 CALL JIGS-UP,STR?255 RSTACK ?ELS5: FSET? POWER-TRANSMITTER,MUNGBIT \?ELS10 CALL QUEUE,I-ION-DEATH,2 JUMP ?CND8 ?ELS10: CALL QUEUE,I-ION-DEATH,6 ?CND8: CALL V-DIAGNOSE ZERO? SIDEKICK-IONIZED /TRUE CALL VISIBLE?,SIDEKICK ZERO? STACK /TRUE EQUAL? ION-DEATH-COUNTER,3 \TRUE PRINTI " " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTR " says, ""My head is pounding! I wish we had some aspirin.""" .FUNCT BARGE-DOCKS,CALLED-BY-INT=0,DOCK-ROOM,DOCK-DIR ZERO? MOORING-ON /FALSE IN? BARGE,CANAL \FALSE EQUAL? BARGE-LOC-NUM,7,10,15 /?THN8 EQUAL? BARGE-LOC-NUM,1,6 \FALSE ?THN8: ZERO? CALLED-BY-INT /?CND10 PRINTI " " ?CND10: CALL SET-DOCK-ROOM,BARGE-LOC-NUM >DOCK-ROOM CALL SET-DOCK-DIR,BARGE-LOC-NUM >DOCK-DIR IN? BARGE,HERE \?CND14 PRINTI " The barge drifts toward the dock on the " PRINT DOCK-DIR PRINTI "ern shore, butting against it with a loud ""clank.""" IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?CND17 CRLF ?CND17: CRLF ?CND14: MOVE BARGE,DOCK-ROOM IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?CND20 ZERO? RAFT-HELD /?CND23 MOVE RAFT,DOCK-ROOM ?CND23: CALL GOTO,BARGE ?CND20: SET 'BARGE-WAIT,FALSE-VALUE RTRUE .FUNCT SET-DOCK-ROOM,NUM EQUAL? NUM,-1 \?ELS5 RETURN HICKORY-AND-DICKORY-DOCK ?ELS5: EQUAL? NUM,1 \?ELS7 RETURN ROYAL-DOCKS ?ELS7: EQUAL? NUM,6 \?ELS9 RETURN BABY-DOCK ?ELS9: EQUAL? NUM,7 \?ELS11 RETURN DONALD-DOCK ?ELS11: EQUAL? NUM,15 \?ELS13 RETURN WATTZ-UPP-DOCK ?ELS13: EQUAL? NEARER-DOCK,MY-KIND-OF-DOCK \?ELS15 RETURN MY-KIND-OF-DOCK ?ELS15: RETURN ABANDONED-DOCK .FUNCT SET-DOCK-DIR,NUM EQUAL? NUM,-1,1,7 \?ELS5 RETURN STR?256 ?ELS5: EQUAL? NUM,6 \?ELS7 RETURN STR?257 ?ELS7: EQUAL? NUM,15 \?ELS9 RETURN STR?258 ?ELS9: EQUAL? NEARER-DOCK,MY-KIND-OF-DOCK \?ELS11 RETURN STR?239 ?ELS11: RETURN STR?258 .FUNCT AMONG-THE-DUNES-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \FALSE FSET? AMONG-THE-DUNES,TOUCHBIT /FALSE ?PRG8: RANDOM 8270 ADD 100,STACK >WIFE-NUMBER MOD WIFE-NUMBER,10 ZERO? STACK /?PRG8 CALL PALINDROME-NUMBER?,WIFE-NUMBER ZERO? STACK \?PRG8 RTRUE .FUNCT PALINDROME-NUMBER?,NUM,?TMP1 GRTR? NUM,999 \?ELS5 DIV NUM,1000 >?TMP1 MOD NUM,10 EQUAL? ?TMP1,STACK \FALSE RTRUE ?ELS5: DIV NUM,100 >?TMP1 MOD NUM,10 EQUAL? ?TMP1,STACK \FALSE RTRUE .FUNCT LIP-BALM-F FSET? LIP-BALM,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON \?ELS11 EQUAL? PRSI,MOUTH /?THN8 ?ELS11: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WEAR \?ELS7 ?THN8: FSET? LIP-BALM,WORNBIT \?ELS16 PRINT SENILITY-STRIKES RTRUE ?ELS16: MOVE LIP-BALM,PROTAGONIST FSET LIP-BALM,WORNBIT FSET MOUTH,MUNGBIT PRINTR "You coat your lips with the glistening balm, using up the whole stick." ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS20 FSET? LIP-BALM,WORNBIT \?ELS20 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,MOUTH RTRUE ?ELS20: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLEAN,V?REMOVE \FALSE FSET? LIP-BALM,WORNBIT \FALSE MOVE LIP-BALM,LOCAL-GLOBALS FCLEAR MOUTH,MUNGBIT PRINTR "You wipe away the lip balm." .FUNCT CODED-MESSAGE-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?READ \FALSE PRINTI "VSDFHHQN UXRB VVLN RW " ZERO? MALE /?ELS8 PRINTI "UH" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "PL" ?CND6: PRINTI "K JQLNVD BE " ZERO? MALE /?ELS14 PRINTI "UH" JUMP ?CND12 ?ELS14: PRINTI "PL" ?CND12: PRINTI "K RW IOHVUXRB BILWQHGL -- SDP WHUFHV HKW WHJ GQD " ZERO? MALE \?CND18 PRINTI "VVH" ?CND18: PRINTI "QDWOXV HKW IR " CALL REVERSE-NUMBER,WIFE-NUMBER PRINTI " UHEPXQ " ZERO? MALE /?ELS23 PRINTI "HILZ" JUMP ?CND21 ?ELS23: PRINTI "GQDEVXK" ?CND21: PRINTR " WFDWQRF RW VL QRLVVLP UXRB" .FUNCT REVERSE-NUMBER,NUM ?PRG1: MOD NUM,10 PRINTN STACK DIV NUM,10 >NUM ZERO? NUM \?PRG1 RTRUE .FUNCT MESSENGER-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS5 PRINTR "It's dead. Very dead." ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS,V?FUCK \?ELS7 PRINTR "Is there even a word for this sort of perverse behavior? Necro-xeno-philia? Xeno-necro-philia? Grosso-sicko-philia?" ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON \?ELS9 EQUAL? PRSO,LIP-BALM \?ELS9 PRINTR "Too late." ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \?ELS13 PRINT NOTHING-NEW RTRUE ?ELS13: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ALARM \FALSE PRINTR "This guy's not resting, he's deceased!" .FUNCT DUNETOP-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \FALSE ZERO? TITS-COUNTER \FALSE CALL QUEUE,I-TITS,-1 RSTACK .FUNCT I-TITS INC 'TITS-COUNTER EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 /?ELS5 CALL DEQUEUE,I-TITS RFALSE ?ELS5: EQUAL? TITS-COUNTER,4 \?ELS7 PRINTR " [A warning for any Jerry Falwell groupies who are miraculously still playing: we'll be using the word ""tits"" in five turns or so. Please consult the manual for the proper way to stop playing.]" ?ELS7: EQUAL? TITS-COUNTER,7 \?ELS9 PRINTR " [Only a few turns until the ""tits"" reference! Use QUIT now if you might be offended!]" ?ELS9: EQUAL? TITS-COUNTER,9 \?ELS11 PRINTR " [Last warning! The word ""tits"" will appear in the very next turn! This is your absolutely last chance to avoid seeing ""tits"" used!!!]" ?ELS11: EQUAL? TITS-COUNTER,10 \FALSE CALL DEQUEUE,I-TITS PRINTI " A hyperdimensional traveller suddenly appears out of thin air. ""My sister has tremendous breasts,"" says the traveller and, without further explanation, vanishes" FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT /?CND14 PRINTI ", leaving only a vague trace of interdimensional ozone" ?CND14: PRINTR ". [Oh, regarding the use of ""tits,"" we changed our mind at the last minute. Everyone agreed it was too risque.]" .FUNCT OUTSIDE-SHOP-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?WALK-TO,V?ENTER \?ELS5 CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \FALSE PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE .FUNCT INSIDE-SHOP-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXIT,V?LEAVE,V?DISEMBARK \?ELS5 CALL DO-WALK,P?NORTH RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER,V?WALK-TO,V?BOARD \?ELS7 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \?ELS9 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,DUST RTRUE ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE CALL V-LOOK RSTACK .FUNCT EXIT-SHOP-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE FSET? PROPRIETOR,TOUCHBIT /FALSE FSET PROPRIETOR,TOUCHBIT PRINTI " " PRINT PROPRIETOR-STIRS PRINTR "Don't get many customers these days, since they abandoned the dock. In fact, you're only the third in the last hundred and fifty centuries."" He slips back into a drowse." .FUNCT PROPRIETOR-F EQUAL? PROPRIETOR,WINNER \?ELS5 EQUAL? PRSA,V?WHAT \?ELS14 EQUAL? PRSO,LGOP /?THN11 ?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?ELS10 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS10 EQUAL? PRSI,LGOP \?ELS10 ?THN11: PRINTR """A bunch of deadbeats! Never pay their bills -- I've had to repossess God knows how many exits!""" ?ELS10: SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM,V?ALARM,PROPRIETOR CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ALARM \?ELS20 PRINT PROPRIETOR-STIRS PRINTI "E" PRINT BOUGHT-AND-SOLD PRINTI ","" he mumbles, ""e" PRINT BOUGHT-AND-SOLD PRINTR "."" A moment later, he nods off." ?ELS20: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BARTER-WITH /?THN23 EQUAL? PRSA,V?ASK-FOR \?ELS22 EQUAL? PRSI,EXIT-OBJECT \?ELS22 ?THN23: CALL PERFORM,V?BUY,EXIT-OBJECT RTRUE ?ELS22: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW,V?GIVE \?ELS28 EQUAL? PRSO,TEN-MARSMID-COIN \?ELS28 PRINTR """Humph? Eh, oh, sorry, no change for a ten. And the Mall Merchants Association would have my license if I accepted an overpayment. Try again in a year ... or two ... grunt snore.""" ?ELS28: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW,V?GIVE \?ELS32 EQUAL? PRSO,ONE-MARSMID-COIN \?ELS32 REMOVE ONE-MARSMID-COIN MOVE TUBE,DUST CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,5,12 PRINTR "The proprietor slowly focuses one eye on the coin. ""Not much in stock these days,"" he explains. ""My supplier went bankrupt ninety thousand years ago."" He takes the coin and starts to hand you a cardboard tube, but his eye drifts out of focus again, and he drops it wearily into the dust." ?ELS32: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW,V?GIVE \FALSE EQUAL? PRSO,FLEXIBLE-HOLE \FALSE PRINT PROPRIETOR-STIRS PRINTR "Don't think I could sell such an out-of-date model. No one wants exits anymore, anyway. Don't know why I bother ... to stay in business ... zzzz.""" .FUNCT EXIT-OBJECT-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?BUY \?ELS5 EQUAL? HERE,EXIT-SHOP \?ELS10 PRINTR """One marsmid, please, grunt snore zzz.""" ?ELS10: FSET? EXIT-SHOP,TOUCHBIT \?ELS12 PRINTI "This isn't an " PRINTD EXIT-SHOP PRINTR "!" ?ELS12: PRINTR "Buy an exit?!?!" ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BUY-WITH \?ELS16 EQUAL? PRSI,TEN-MARSMID-COIN,ONE-MARSMID-COIN \?ELS16 CALL PERFORM,V?GIVE,PRSI,PROPRIETOR RTRUE ?ELS16: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \FALSE IN? TUBE,DUST \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,EXIT-SHOP \FALSE PRINTR "It's lost in the dust." .FUNCT DUST-F,X=0 EQUAL? PRSA,V?DIG,V?REACH-IN,V?SEARCH /?THN6 EQUAL? PRSA,V?RAKE,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS5 ?THN6: FIRST? DUST >X \?ELS12 MOVE X,PROTAGONIST CALL THIS-IS-IT,X PRINTI "You grasp" CALL APRINT,X PRINTR "!" ?ELS12: PRINTR "You sift through the dust but find nothing." ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?ENTER \?ELS16 PRINTR "You're already up to your neck in dust." ?ELS16: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS18 EQUAL? PRSI,DUST \?ELS18 CALL PERFORM,V?DROP,PRSO RTRUE ?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BLOW,V?MOVE,V?CLEAN \FALSE PRINTR "You'd need a plow to move this dust." .FUNCT FLEXIBLE-HOLE-F,SIDEKICK-VISIBLE=0 EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS5 PRINTI "The " PRINTD FLEXIBLE-HOLE PRINTR " looks just like a portable version of the ""holes"" you've been encountering all over the solar system." ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \?ELS7 PRINTI "The " CALL DPRINT,HOLE PRINTR " is two feet across." ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?TOUCH,V?REACH-IN \?ELS9 IN? FLEXIBLE-HOLE,TUBE \?ELS9 CALL MEANT-OTHER-HOLE ZERO? STACK \TRUE CALL NOT-ON-GROUND,FLEXIBLE-HOLE RSTACK ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH,V?REACH-IN \?ELS16 PRINT HAND-DWINDLES RTRUE ?ELS16: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS18 PRINT STARING-INTO-VOID RTRUE ?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON,V?PUT \?ELS20 EQUAL? PRSI,FLEXIBLE-HOLE \?ELS20 LOC FLEXIBLE-HOLE EQUAL? STACK,HERE,RAFT,BARGE \?ELS27 MOVE PRSO,BOUDOIR CALL NON-DIMENSIONAL-JOURNEY RSTACK ?ELS27: CALL MEANT-OTHER-HOLE ZERO? STACK \TRUE CALL NOT-ON-GROUND,FLEXIBLE-HOLE RSTACK ?ELS20: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?ENTER,V?STAND-ON \FALSE CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,FLEXIBLE-HOLE ZERO? STACK /?ELS38 CALL MEANT-OTHER-HOLE ZERO? STACK \TRUE PRINT HOLDING-IT RTRUE ?ELS38: IN? PROTAGONIST,HERE /?ELS43 LOC PROTAGONIST IN? FLEXIBLE-HOLE,STACK /?ELS43 CALL NOT-GOING-ANYWHERE RSTACK ?ELS43: LOC FLEXIBLE-HOLE EQUAL? STACK,HERE,TREE-HOLE /?ELS47 LOC FLEXIBLE-HOLE EQUAL? STACK,RAFT,BARGE /?ELS47 CALL MEANT-OTHER-HOLE ZERO? STACK \TRUE CALL NOT-ON-GROUND,FLEXIBLE-HOLE RSTACK ?ELS47: ZERO? SIDEKICK-TRIP-FLAG /?ELS54 CALL QUEUED?,I-SIDEKICK-OUT-WINDOW ZERO? STACK /?ELS54 CALL DO-WALK,P?DOWN RSTACK ?ELS54: CALL VISIBLE?,SIDEKICK ZERO? STACK /?CND59 SET 'SIDEKICK-VISIBLE,TRUE-VALUE ?CND59: CALL FALL-THROUGH-HOLE CALL GOTO,BOUDOIR CALL QUEUED?,I-ION-DEATH ZERO? STACK /?CND62 FSET POWER-TRANSMITTER,MUNGBIT CALL QUEUE,I-ION-DEATH,1 ?CND62: ZERO? SIDEKICK-VISIBLE /TRUE SET 'HOLE-MOVE,TRUE-VALUE CALL SIDEKICK-FOLLOWS-YOU RTRUE .FUNCT MEANT-OTHER-HOLE EQUAL? PRSO,FLEXIBLE-HOLE \?ELS9 GET P-ADJW,0 EQUAL? STACK,A?FLEXIBLE,A?PORTABLE /FALSE ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSI,FLEXIBLE-HOLE \?ELS5 GET P-ADJW,1 EQUAL? STACK,A?FLEXIBLE,A?PORTABLE /FALSE ?ELS5: CALL GLOBAL-IN?,HOLE,HERE ZERO? STACK /FALSE EQUAL? PRSO,FLEXIBLE-HOLE \?ELS15 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,HOLE,PRSI RTRUE ?ELS15: CALL PERFORM-PRSA,PRSO,HOLE RTRUE .FUNCT LAUNDRY-ROOM-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "One of the less pleasant aspects of running a palace is the sheer volume of dirty laundry its occupants produce. Why, the 8379 " ZERO? MALE /?ELS8 PRINTI "wive" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "husband" ?CND6: PRINTI "s alone could keep a crew of cleaners sleepless. Add in the servants, cooks, gardeners, stablehands, jesters, visiting nobles, brothers-in-law in virtual permanent residence... Suffice it to say that there's " ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS14 PRINTI "quite" JUMP ?CND12 ?ELS14: PRINTI "one hell of" ?CND12: PRINTI " a lot of dirty laundry here. You can barely see the exit to the north through it all." RTRUE .FUNCT CLOTHES-PIN-F FSET? CLOTHES-PIN,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE EQUAL? PRSA,V?PIN,V?PUT-ON \?ELS7 EQUAL? PRSO,CLOTHES-PIN \?ELS7 EQUAL? PRSI,NOSE /?ELS14 CALL WASTES RSTACK ?ELS14: ZERO? GONE-APE /?ELS16 PRINT DEXTERITY RTRUE ?ELS16: FSET? CLOTHES-PIN,WORNBIT \?ELS19 PRINT SENILITY-STRIKES RTRUE ?ELS19: MOVE CLOTHES-PIN,PROTAGONIST FSET CLOTHES-PIN,WORNBIT FSET NOSE,MUNGBIT PRINTR "You pin your proboscis." ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS23 EQUAL? PRSO,NOSE \?ELS23 CALL PERFORM,V?PUT-ON,CLOTHES-PIN,NOSE RTRUE ?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TIE \?ELS27 EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?ATTACH \?ELS27 EQUAL? PRSO,CLOTHES-PIN \?ELS27 ZERO? PRSI /?ELS27 CALL PERFORM,V?PUT-ON,CLOTHES-PIN,PRSI RTRUE ?ELS27: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE-WITH \?ELS31 EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?HOLD \?ELS31 EQUAL? PRSO,NOSE \?ELS31 CALL PERFORM,V?PUT-ON,CLOTHES-PIN,NOSE RTRUE ?ELS31: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE-OFF,V?REMOVE \FALSE FSET? CLOTHES-PIN,WORNBIT \FALSE ZERO? GONE-APE /?CND38 CALL PERFORM,V?TAKE,CLOTHES-PIN RTRUE ?CND38: CALL OPEN-EYES-AND-REMOVE-HANDS FCLEAR CLOTHES-PIN,WORNBIT CALL SENSE-AGAIN,NOSE RSTACK .FUNCT WELL-ENTER-F PRINTI "You climb down the well for a long distance. Near the bottom the handholds end, so you" CALL AND-SIDEKICK,WELL-BOTTOM PRINTI " leap the rest of the way, landing on" CALL APRINT,HOLE PRINTI ". " SET 'HERE,WELL-BOTTOM MOVE PROTAGONIST,WELL-BOTTOM CALL PERFORM,V?STAND-ON,HOLE RFALSE .FUNCT WELL-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?REACH-IN,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS5 PRINTR "Handholds lead downward!" ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLIMB-UP,V?CLIMB,V?CLIMB-DOWN /?THN8 EQUAL? PRSA,V?ENTER,V?BOARD \?ELS7 ?THN8: EQUAL? HERE,WELL-BOTTOM \?ELS12 CALL DO-WALK,P?UP RTRUE ?ELS12: CALL WELL-ENTER-F RTRUE ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \FALSE EQUAL? PRSI,PSEUDO-OBJECT \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,ORIENTAL-GARDEN \FALSE MOVE PRSO,BARGE EQUAL? PRSO,TORCH \?CND19 CALL TORCH-OFF ?CND19: PRINTR "It drops out of sight." .FUNCT TOWER-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?WALK-TO,V?ENTER /?THN6 EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLIMB-UP,V?CLIMB \?ELS5 ?THN6: EQUAL? HERE,BASE-OF-TOWER \?ELS12 CALL DO-WALK,P?UP RSTACK ?ELS12: EQUAL? HERE,MINARET \FALSE PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXIT,V?LEAVE,V?DISEMBARK \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,BASE-OF-TOWER \?ELS21 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS21: CALL DO-WALK,P?DOWN RSTACK .FUNCT AUDIENCE-CHAMBER-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5 PRINTI "The good news is that this hall is intoxicatingly beautiful, laid with the snow-white fur of the rare Martian Velvetworm and endowed with platinum arches and balustrades. Silky curtains embrace openings to the south, southwest, and west. The bad news is that no " ZERO? MALE \?CND6 PRINTI "wo" ?CND6: PRINTI "man has ever entered the " CALL DPRINT,HERE PRINTI " of" CALL TPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " and departed alive." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE FSET? SULTAN,TOUCHBIT /FALSE FSET SULTAN,TOUCHBIT CALL QUEUE,I-SULTAN,-1 RSTACK .FUNCT AUDIENCE-CHAMBER-EXIT-F ZERO? RIDDLE-ANSWERED \?ELS5 PRINTI """Rule violation! Rule violation!"" " CALL RIDDLE-DEATH RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSO,P?SOUTH \?ELS7 RETURN ORIENTAL-GARDEN ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSO,P?SW \?ELS9 RETURN MAIN-HALL-OF-PALACE ?ELS9: GRTR? CHOICE-NUMBER,0 /?THN12 EQUAL? HAREM-GUARD-COUNTER,5 \?ELS11 ?THN12: RETURN HAREM ?ELS11: CALL RUNNING?,I-HAREM-GUARD ZERO? STACK /?ELS15 CALL QUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD,2 PRINTI """Hey!"" The " PRINTD HAREM-GUARD PRINTI " pushes you back. ""Pick a number first!" CRLF RFALSE ?ELS15: CALL QUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD,2 MOVE HAREM-GUARD,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER SET 'AWAITING-FAKE-ORPHAN,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI "A well-armed " ZERO? MALE /?CND18 PRINTI "fe" ?CND18: PRINTI "male guard blocks you. ""Congratulations on your performance,"" " CALL SHE-HE PRINTI " says in a bored voice. You wonder how the guard can be so unmoved by your historic feat. As though sensing your thoughts, the guard says, ""The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " likes to pretend that no one's ever gotten the riddle, but someone got it last year, the word spread around, and now everyone knows the answer. You're the twelfth winner this week already. " CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " sent away to Maude's House of Riddles on Ganymede for a new one, but the mail is so slow..."" The guard shakes " CALL HER-HIS PRINTI " head. ""Well, pick a " ZERO? MALE /?ELS24 PRINTI "wife" JUMP ?CND22 ?ELS24: PRINTI "husband" ?CND22: PRINTI "; any number from 1 to 8379. Don't waste time thinking; they're all clones anyway."" " CALL SHE-HE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " looks at you expectantly." CRLF RFALSE .FUNCT MATE-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?PICK \?ELS5 IN? HAREM-GUARD,HERE \?ELS5 CALL I-HAREM-GUARD,TRUE-VALUE RSTACK ?ELS5: CALL PRSO-MOBY-VERB? ZERO? STACK \FALSE CALL PRSI-MOBY-VERB? ZERO? STACK \FALSE CALL CANT-SEE,PSEUDO-OBJECT RSTACK .FUNCT HAREM-GUARD-F EQUAL? HAREM-GUARD,WINNER \?ELS5 EQUAL? PRSA,V?ANSWER-KLUDGE \?ELS10 EQUAL? PRSO,INTNUM \?ELS10 CALL PICK-WIFE,INTNUM RSTACK ?ELS10: CALL I-HAREM-GUARD,TRUE-VALUE RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FOLLOW \FALSE EQUAL? FOLLOW-FLAG,13,14 \FALSE CALL DO-WALK,P?WEST RSTACK .FUNCT I-HAREM-GUARD,CALLED-BY-HAREM-GUARD-F=0 INC 'HAREM-GUARD-COUNTER ZERO? CALLED-BY-HAREM-GUARD-F /?ELS3 CALL QUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD,2 JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: CALL QUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD,-1 ?CND1: EQUAL? HERE,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER \?THN10 GRTR? CHOICE-NUMBER,0 \?CND7 ?THN10: SET 'AWAITING-FAKE-ORPHAN,FALSE-VALUE CALL DEQUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD REMOVE HAREM-GUARD RFALSE ?CND7: ZERO? CALLED-BY-HAREM-GUARD-F \?CND12 PRINTI " " ?CND12: PRINTI """" EQUAL? HAREM-GUARD-COUNTER,5 \?ELS19 REMOVE HAREM-GUARD SET 'FOLLOW-FLAG,14 CALL QUEUE,I-FOLLOW,2 CALL DEQUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD SET 'AWAITING-FAKE-ORPHAN,FALSE-VALUE PRINTR "I'm not waiting around anymore! You blew it, sucker."" The guard storms angrily away." ?ELS19: PRINTI "Ahem? A number...?"" says" CALL TPRINT,HAREM-GUARD EQUAL? HAREM-GUARD-COUNTER,4 \?CND22 PRINTI " with growing impatience" ?CND22: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE .FUNCT PICK-WIFE,OBJ=0,DUPE EQUAL? OBJ,INTNUM /?THN4 CALL NUMBER?,P-CONT EQUAL? STACK,W?NUMBER \?ELS3 ?THN4: LESS? P-NUMBER,1 \?ELS8 PRINT GIMME-TROUBLE JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS8: GRTR? P-NUMBER,8379 \?ELS10 PRINTI """There're only 8379 of 'em.""" CRLF JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS10: CALL ZMEMQ,P-NUMBER,WRONG-ANSWERS,7 >DUPE ZERO? DUPE /?ELS12 PRINTI """You already asked for that one, dodo-brain!""" CRLF JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS12: EQUAL? P-NUMBER,WIFE-NUMBER /?THN15 RANDOM 100 LESS? HAREM-PROB,STACK /?ELS14 ?THN15: SET 'CHOICE-NUMBER,P-NUMBER SET 'AWAITING-FAKE-ORPHAN,FALSE-VALUE SET 'FOLLOW-FLAG,13 CALL QUEUE,I-FOLLOW,2 REMOVE HAREM-GUARD CALL QUEUE,I-HAREM,5 PRINTI "The guard, walking off, says, ""I'll summon that one. You may enter.""" CRLF JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS14: DIV HAREM-PROB,15 PUT WRONG-ANSWERS,STACK,P-NUMBER ADD HAREM-PROB,15 >HAREM-PROB PRINTI "The guard consults a list. """ RANDOM 100 LESS? 25,STACK /?ELS21 PRINTI "Traded to the Du" ZERO? MALE /?ELS24 PRINTI "ke" JUMP ?CND22 ?ELS24: PRINTI "chess" ?CND22: PRINTI " of Deimos for two eunuchs and a jester to be named later" JUMP ?CND19 ?ELS21: CALL PICK-ONE,EXCUSES PRINT STACK ?CND19: PRINTI ". Pick another number.""" CRLF JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: PRINTI "[Please give your selection in numerical form.]" CRLF ?CND1: CALL QUEUE,I-HAREM-GUARD,2 CALL STOP RSTACK .FUNCT SULTAN-F,OARG=0 ZERO? OARG /?ELS5 EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " is here," ZERO? RIDDLE-ANSWERED /?ELS14 CALL ARGUING-WITH-LEGAL-ADVISOR RSTACK ?ELS14: PRINTI " enthroned." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? SULTAN,WINNER \?ELS19 EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?ELS24 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS24 EQUAL? PRSI,LGOP \?ELS24 PRINTR """They were exiled from Leather Island in the Caribbean, after cheating in the Miss Leather Island beauty pageant; the silicone injectionist spilled the beans. Now they rule all of Phobos. Hmmph! They call that hunk of rock a Sultanate? Those bimbos never told a decent riddle in their lives!""" ?ELS24: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WHERE,V?WHAT \?ELS28 PRINTR """I ask the riddles around here!""" ?ELS28: EQUAL? PRSA,V?YES \?ELS30 EQUAL? AWAITING-REPLY,1 \?ELS30 CALL V-YES RSTACK ?ELS30: EQUAL? PRSA,V?NO \?ELS34 EQUAL? AWAITING-REPLY,1 \?ELS34 CALL V-NO RSTACK ?ELS34: EQUAL? PRSA,V?USE-QUOTES,V?ANSWER-KLUDGE \?ELS38 ZERO? AWAITING-FAKE-ORPHAN /?ELS38 ZERO? RIDDLE-ANSWERED \?ELS38 EQUAL? PRSO,RIDDLE /?CND41 CALL RIDDLE-ANSWER RTRUE ?CND41: SET 'RIDDLE-ANSWERED,TRUE-VALUE CALL DEQUEUE,I-SNEEZE CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,8,11 PRINTI "The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " looks crestfallen. ""Yes, that's right."" The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " is struck by a thought. ""Can we kill " CALL HIM-HER PRINTI " anyway?"" " CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " begins" CALL ARGUING-WITH-LEGAL-ADVISOR PRINTR " This might be a good time to make a beeline for the harem to the west." ?ELS38: PRINTI "The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " ignores you." CRLF CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS19: ZERO? RIDDLE-ANSWERED \?ELS47 CALL TOUCHING?,SULTAN ZERO? STACK \?THN50 EQUAL? PRSA,V?THROW \?ELS47 EQUAL? PRSI,SULTAN \?ELS47 ?THN50: CALL DO-WALK,P?WEST RSTACK ?ELS47: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW,V?GIVE \?ELS55 EQUAL? PRSO,CODED-MESSAGE \?ELS55 PRINTI """A spy! A spy!"" " CALL RIDDLE-DEATH RSTACK ?ELS55: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LISTEN \FALSE ZERO? RIDDLE-ANSWERED /FALSE PRINTI "The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " is" CALL ARGUING-WITH-LEGAL-ADVISOR CRLF RTRUE .FUNCT ARGUING-WITH-LEGAL-ADVISOR PRINTI " arguing loudly with one of " CALL HIS-HER PRINTI " legal advisors." RTRUE .FUNCT I-SULTAN INC 'SULTAN-COUNTER PRINTI " " GRTR? SULTAN-COUNTER,1 \?ELS3 EQUAL? SULTAN-COUNTER,4 \?ELS6 PRINTI """Have this bore devoured."" " CALL RIDDLE-DEATH JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS6: PRINTI """I grow impatient. " JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: SET 'AWAITING-REPLY,1 PRINTI """Ah,"" says" CALL TPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI ", ""a visitor. This is pleasing; it was turning out to be a very dull morning."" " CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " clears " CALL HIS-HER PRINTI " throat. ""The rules: I will pose a riddle. If you answer it correctly, you may spend one hour with any of my " ZERO? MALE /?ELS13 PRINTI "wive" JUMP ?CND11 ?ELS13: PRINTI "husband" ?CND11: PRINTI "s." CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?285 CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?286 CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?287 CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?288 CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?289 CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?290 CALL YOU-WILL-DIE,STR?291 PRINTI """ " CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE SET 'AWAITING-REPLY,1 PRINTI " motions to one of the palace eunuchs. ""Go tell the animal tenders not to feed the tigers yet."" Pause. """ ?CND1: PRINTR "Are you ready?""" .FUNCT YOU-WILL-DIE,STRING PRINTI " If " PRINT STRING PRINTI ", you will die." RTRUE .FUNCT RIDDLE-DEATH CALL JIGS-UP,STR?292 RSTACK .FUNCT I-SNEEZE CALL QUEUE,I-SNEEZE,-1 INC 'SULTAN-COUNTER PRINTI " The " CALL DPRINT,SULTAN EQUAL? SULTAN-COUNTER,4 \?ELS5 PRINTI " convulses. ""Achoooooo!!!!"" " CALL RIDDLE-DEATH RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? SULTAN-COUNTER,3 \?ELS7 PRINTR " is squinting and drawing in quick gasps of air!" ?ELS7: EQUAL? SULTAN-COUNTER,2 \?ELS9 PRINTI " is rubbing " CALL HIS-HER PRINTI " nose with the back of " CALL HIS-HER PRINTR " hand." ?ELS9: PRINTI " is twitching " CALL HIS-HER PRINTR " nose." .FUNCT RIDDLE-ANSWER ZERO? P-CONT \?ELS5 ZERO? PRSO \?ELS5 SET 'PRSO,SULTAN CALL V-TELL RETURN STR?293 ?ELS5: ZERO? P-CONT /?ELS9 GET P-LEXV,P-CONT EQUAL? STACK,W?RIDDLE /?THN12 ADD P-CONT,2 GET P-LEXV,STACK EQUAL? STACK,W?RIDDLE \?ELS9 ?THN12: SET 'WINNER,SULTAN CALL PERFORM,V?ANSWER-KLUDGE,RIDDLE SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS9: ZERO? P-CONT /?ELS19 GET P-LEXV,P-CONT EQUAL? STACK,W?SEX,W?LOVE /?THN16 ?ELS19: EQUAL? PRSO,LOVE \?ELS15 ?THN16: PRINTI """Good guess! It's wrong, though."" " CALL RIDDLE-DEATH RSTACK ?ELS15: PRINTI """Wrongo!"" " CALL RIDDLE-DEATH RSTACK .FUNCT HAREM-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5 PRINTI "This is a sensuous location of silks and satins and furs. A draped exit leads east." FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT /TRUE PRINTI " A pleasant odor" FSET? HERE,SMELLEDBIT \?CND9 PRINTI " of " GETP HERE,P?ODOR PRINT STACK ?CND9: PRINTI " tickles mischievously at " PRINTD NOSE PRINTI "." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \?ELS13 IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?ELS13 CALL QUEUED?,I-HAREM ZERO? STACK /?ELS13 PRINTI " A " PRINTD HAREM-GUARD PRINTI " grabs " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI ". ""You didn't answer the riddle!"" " CALL TIGER-EATS-SIDEKICK RSTACK ?ELS13: EQUAL? RARG,M-SMELL \FALSE PRINT IT-SEEMS-THAT CALL TPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI " likes h" ZERO? MALE /?ELS20 PRINTI "is wives" JUMP ?CND18 ?ELS20: PRINTI "er husbands" ?CND18: PRINTI " to wear fine " GETP HERE,P?ODOR PRINT STACK PRINTI "." RTRUE .FUNCT TIGER-EATS-SIDEKICK REMOVE SIDEKICK SET 'FOLLOW-FLAG,2 CALL QUEUE,I-FOLLOW,2 SET 'SIDEKICK-EATEN,TRUE-VALUE CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI " is led away. As you hear, from nearby, a fierce roar followed by a blood-curdling scream" CALL MEMORIAM RSTACK .FUNCT I-HAREM EQUAL? HERE,HAREM \FALSE PRINTI " A figure, completely cloaked in veils of silk, enters and beckons you deeper into the harem" PRINT ELLIPSIS CALL GOTO,INNER-HAREM CALL THIS-IS-IT,SULTANS-WIFE FCLEAR SULTANS-WIFE,NDESCBIT CALL QUEUE,I-HOUR,60 PRINTI " " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS10 PRINTR " sits down at the far end of the room." ?ELS10: PRINTI " touches a button at the shoulder of " CALL HER-HIS PRINTI " tunic and it slowly floats to the floor. " CALL SHE-HE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTR " pulls you down onto the furs, whispering in a husky voice, ""For an hour, I am yours.""" .FUNCT I-HOUR EQUAL? HERE,INNER-HAREM \FALSE PRINTI " ""The hour is over,"" sighs " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI ", reluctantly leading you out of the " PRINTD HERE PRINT ELLIPSIS CALL GOTO,HAREM RSTACK .FUNCT HAREM-OBJECT-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?WALK-TO,V?ENTER \?ELS5 EQUAL? HERE,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER \?ELS10 CALL DO-WALK,P?WEST RSTACK ?ELS10: EQUAL? HERE,HAREM,INNER-HAREM \FALSE PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?EXIT,V?LEAVE \?ELS14 EQUAL? HERE,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER \?ELS19 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS19: CALL DO-WALK,P?OUT RSTACK ?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS23 EQUAL? HERE,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER /?ELS23 CALL V-LOOK RSTACK ?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \?ELS27 EQUAL? HERE,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER /?ELS27 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,ODOR RTRUE ?ELS27: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \FALSE PRINT NOTHING-NEW RTRUE .FUNCT INNER-HAREM-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "This luxurious bedroom, presumably one of many throughout the harem, is appointed with a multitude of exotic furs, warm to the touch as though still alive. " FSET? NOSE,MUNGBIT /?CND6 PRINTI "The heady aroma of " GETP HAREM,P?ODOR PRINT STACK PRINTI " and incense mingle in the air. " ?CND6: PRINTI "There's an exit to the southeast" ZERO? CATACOMBS-OPEN /?CND9 PRINTI " and a secret passage leads downward" ?CND9: PRINTI "." RTRUE .FUNCT INNER-HAREM-EXIT-F CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,MAP ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 CALL VISIBLE?,MAP ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 PRINTI "As" CALL TPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE CALL JIGS-UP,STR?294 RSTACK ?ELS5: RETURN HAREM .FUNCT SULTANS-WIFE-F,OARG=0 ZERO? OARG /?ELS5 EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI " is here" ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL /?CND10 PRINTI ", lying seductively naked on a bed of furs" ?CND10: PRINTI "." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? WINNER,SULTANS-WIFE \?ELS14 EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \?ELS23 EQUAL? PRSO,KNEECAPS \?ELS23 ZERO? CATACOMBS-OPEN /?THN20 ?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS-ON \?ELS19 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS19 EQUAL? PRSI,KNEECAPS \?ELS19 ZERO? CATACOMBS-OPEN \?ELS19 ?THN20: EQUAL? CHOICE-NUMBER,WIFE-NUMBER \?ELS30 MOVE MAP,HERE MOVE TORCH,HERE CALL QUEUE,I-TORCH,23 CALL DEQUEUE,I-HOUR SET 'CATACOMBS-OPEN,TRUE-VALUE CALL OPEN-EYES-AND-REMOVE-HANDS PRINTI """Oh,"" whispers " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI ", ""you're from the rebels! Here's" CALL TPRINT,MAP PRINTI ","" " CALL SHE-HE PRINTI " says, laying" CALL APRINT,MAP PRINTI " at your feet, ""and here's" CALL APRINT,TORCH PRINTI ","" " CALL SHE-HE PRINTI " says, lighting" CALL APRINT,TORCH PRINTI " and placing it next to the map. " CALL SHE-HE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " moves some furs to reveal a secret entrance leading downwards. ""The only way out is through the catacombs -- if you come back this way with" CALL TPRINT,MAP PRINTI "," CALL TPRINT,HAREM-GUARD PRINTR "s will...""" ?ELS30: PRINTR """I'm not into that kinky stuff.""" ?ELS19: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FUCK,V?SUCK,V?KISS /?THN37 EQUAL? PRSA,V?BLOW,V?LICK,V?EAT /?THN37 EQUAL? PRSA,V?TOUCH,V?TAKE \?ELS34 ?THN37: ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS34 EQUAL? PRSO,COCK,ME \?ELS34 SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM,V?FUCK,SULTANS-WIFE SET 'WINNER,SULTANS-WIFE RTRUE ?ELS34: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \?ELS40 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS40 SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM-PRSA,SULTANS-WIFE SET 'WINNER,SULTANS-WIFE RTRUE ?ELS40: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE,V?FUCK \?ELS44 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS44 SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM,V?FUCK,SULTANS-WIFE SET 'WINNER,SULTANS-WIFE RTRUE ?ELS44: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BLOW,V?LICK,V?EAT /?THN51 EQUAL? PRSA,V?SUCK \?ELS48 ?THN51: EQUAL? PRSO,COCK,ME \?ELS48 EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS57 PRINT MISSIONARY-ONLY RTRUE ?ELS57: CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI " nods eagerly and slides downward. Skillful tongue-work soon has you squirming on the edge of orgasm... Eventually, spent and satisfied, you take " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTR " lovingly into your arms." ?ELS48: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WHAT \?ELS65 EQUAL? PRSO,LGOP /?THN62 ?ELS65: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?ELS61 EQUAL? PRSO,ME \?ELS61 EQUAL? PRSI,LGOP \?ELS61 ?THN62: PRINTR """That's the code name of the cadre who lead the rebel underground. It is said they have pledged their lives and souls to the revolution!""" ?ELS61: PRINTI """Shhh... " ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS74 PRINTI "It's past bedtime for the children of" CALL TPRINT,SULTAN PRINTI "! You'll wake them!""" CRLF CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS74: PRINTI "Let " PRINTD YOUR-BODY PRINTI " do the talking,"" says " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI ", reaching out toward you." CRLF CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS14: CALL WRONG-SEX-WORD,SULTANS-WIFE,W?WIFE,W?HUSBAND ZERO? STACK /?ELS78 CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS78: EQUAL? PRSA,V?THANK \?ELS80 ZERO? CATACOMBS-OPEN /?ELS80 CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTR " gives you a grand salute. ""For the revolution!""" ?ELS80: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FUCK,V?TOUCH,V?KISS /?THN87 EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS84 ?THN87: ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS84 PRINTI "Instead, you decide to get to know " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI " better, so you engage " CALL HER-HIM PRINTI " in a stimulating discussion about " CALL PICK-ONE,DISCUSSION-TOPICS PRINT STACK CRLF RTRUE ?ELS84: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EAT \?ELS90 ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS95 CALL V-FUCK RSTACK ?ELS95: EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS97 PRINT MISSIONARY-ONLY RTRUE ?ELS97: CALL DPRINT,PRSO PRINTI " arches " CALL HER-HIS PRINTR " body to meet you, passionately stroking your neck and shoulders." ?ELS90: EQUAL? PRSA,V?UNDRESS \?ELS101 ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL /?ELS101 CALL SHE-HE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTR " is!" ?ELS101: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DRESS \?ELS105 PRINTR "You must be from Massachusetts." ?ELS105: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE,V?TOUCH,V?KISS \?ELS107 CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTR " moans softly and draws closer to you." ?ELS107: EQUAL? PRSA,V?FUCK \?ELS109 ZERO? WIFE-FUCKED /?CND110 PRINTR "You shouldn't wear yourself out. [Besides, do you think there's infinite room on this disk for long, lurid descriptions of sex acts?]" ?CND110: SET 'WIFE-FUCKED,TRUE-VALUE CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI " draws you into " CALL HER-HIS PRINTI " arms. " EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,2 \?CND114 PRINTI "As " PRINTD HANDS PRINTI "s explore h" ZERO? MALE /?ELS119 PRINTI "er soft, rounded" JUMP ?CND117 ?ELS119: PRINTI "is firm, strong" ?CND117: PRINTI " body, a faint sweaty, musky odor triggers a passionate fire within you, and you find yourself " ZERO? MALE /?ELS125 PRINTI "ris" JUMP ?CND123 ?ELS125: PRINTI "warm" ?CND123: PRINTI "ing to the occasion. Your lovemaking is slow and gentle, and as you reach a crescendo of pleasure, you cry out softly, passionately, and repeatedly. ""Oh,"" moans " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI ", ""say my number again ... say it in French...""" CRLF ?CND114: PRINTI "Much later, you and " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTR " fall back upon the furs, basking in the aura of postcoital bliss." ?ELS109: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MARRY \?ELS130 PRINTI "But " CALL DPRINT,PRSO PRINTR " is already married!" ?ELS130: EQUAL? PRSA,V?MEASURE \?ELS132 ZERO? MALE /?ELS135 PRINTI "36-24-36" JUMP ?CND133 ?ELS135: ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS138 PRINTI "Tall" JUMP ?CND133 ?ELS138: EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS140 PRINTI "Long" JUMP ?CND133 ?ELS140: PRINTI "Ten delicious inches" ?CND133: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS132: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS144 ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL /?ELS144 PRINTI "A mere glance at the succulent, sexy body of " CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE PRINTI " is enough to " EQUAL? NAUGHTY-LEVEL,1 \?ELS149 PRINTI "really turn you on" JUMP ?CND147 ?ELS149: ZERO? MALE /?ELS151 PRINTI "give you an instant hard-on" JUMP ?CND147 ?ELS151: PRINTI "get you all moist and randy" ?CND147: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS144: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SMELL \FALSE CALL SHE-HE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " smells of " GETP HAREM,P?ODOR PRINT STACK PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE .FUNCT TORCH-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?OFF \?ELS5 FSET? TORCH,ONBIT \?ELS5 CALL TORCH-OFF PRINT PFFT RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ON \?ELS9 FSET? TORCH,ONBIT /?ELS9 CALL PERFORM,V?BURN,TORCH RTRUE ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BURN \?ELS13 EQUAL? PRSO,TORCH \?ELS13 FSET? TORCH,ONBIT \?ELS13 CALL PERFORM,V?ON,TORCH RTRUE ?ELS13: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON,V?PUT \?ELS17 FSET? TORCH,ONBIT \?ELS17 EQUAL? PRSI,TRELLIS,BARGE \?ELS17 FSET? PRSI,UNTEEDBIT /?ELS17 PRINTI "The " PRINTD PRSI PRINTR " would burn!" ?ELS17: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \FALSE EQUAL? PRSI,WATER,CANAL \FALSE FSET? TORCH,ONBIT \FALSE CALL TORCH-OFF PRINT PFFT RTRUE .FUNCT TORCH-OFF CALL DEQUEUE,I-TORCH FCLEAR TORCH,ONBIT FCLEAR TORCH,LIGHTBIT PUTP TORCH,P?SDESC,STR?302 FSET TORCH,VOWELBIT RTRUE .FUNCT I-TORCH DEC 'TORCH-LIFE ZERO? TORCH-LIFE \?ELS3 CALL TORCH-OFF JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: MUL TORCH-LIFE,6 CALL QUEUE,I-TORCH,STACK ?CND1: CALL VISIBLE?,TORCH ZERO? STACK /FALSE FSET? EYES,MUNGBIT /FALSE EQUAL? HAND-COVER,EYES /FALSE PRINTI " " ZERO? TORCH-LIFE \?ELS13 PRINT PFFT CALL NOW-DARK? RFALSE ?ELS13: PRINTI "The torch is noticeably dimmer." CRLF RFALSE .FUNCT MAP-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?READ \FALSE FSET? PRSO,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE CALL IN-YOUR-PACKAGE,STR?304 CRLF RTRUE .FUNCT CATACOMBS-ENTER-F ZERO? CATACOMBS-OPEN /?ELS5 CALL QUEUE,I-BEETLES,6 CALL QUEUE,I-CRABS,10 CALL QUEUE,I-GATOR,12 PRINTI "As you leave, " ZERO? NAUGHTY-LEVEL \?ELS9 CALL PERFORM,V?THANK,SULTANS-WIFE CRLF RETURN CATACOMBS ?ELS9: CALL DPRINT,SULTANS-WIFE ZERO? MALE /?ELS14 PRINTI " throws herself into your arms. Her ample bosom presses against your chest as she whispers into your ear, ""Please, oh, please be careful down there!"" Sh" JUMP ?CND12 ?ELS14: PRINTI " gathers you into his powerful arms. Nibbling tenderly on your neck, he whispers, ""Be wary -- the catacombs are dangerous."" H" ?CND12: PRINTI "e kisses you longingly, but eventually you descend, reluctantly, into the gloom of the catacombs" PRINT ELLIPSIS RETURN CATACOMBS ?ELS5: PRINT CANT-GO RFALSE .FUNCT CATACOMBS-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS5 PRINTI "You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your " CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,TORCH ZERO? STACK /?CND6 FSET? TORCH,ONBIT \?CND6 PRINTI "torch" ?CND6: PRINTI "light pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. " PRINT CATACOMBS-WATER-DESC RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE ZERO? SIDEKICK-EATEN /FALSE MOVE SIDEKICK,HERE SET 'SIDEKICK-EATEN,FALSE-VALUE PRINTI " ""Yo!"" says " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI ", tapping your shoulder. ""Looked like my number was up that time! Would've been, if those dimension-hopping midgets hadn't come through at the right moment. Good thing the tiger cage leads to the catacombs, eh?"" " CALL HE-SHE,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " brushes a stray patch of fur off " CALL HIS-HER PRINTR " shoulder." .FUNCT CATACOMBS-MOVEMENT-F,DIR-OFFSET,TABLE-VALUE ZERO? LIT \?CND1 CALL JIGS-UP,STR?305 ?CND1: EQUAL? PRSO,P?NORTH \?ELS8 PUSH 0 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS8: EQUAL? PRSO,P?NE \?ELS10 PUSH 1 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS10: EQUAL? PRSO,P?EAST \?ELS12 PUSH 2 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS12: EQUAL? PRSO,P?SE \?ELS14 PUSH 3 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSO,P?SOUTH \?ELS16 PUSH 4 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS16: EQUAL? PRSO,P?SW \?ELS18 PUSH 5 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS18: EQUAL? PRSO,P?WEST \?ELS20 PUSH 6 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS20: EQUAL? PRSO,P?NW \?ELS22 PUSH 7 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS22: EQUAL? PRSO,P?UP \?ELS24 PUSH 8 JUMP ?CND4 ?ELS24: PUSH 9 ?CND4: SET 'DIR-OFFSET,STACK SUB CATACOMBS-LOC,1 MUL STACK,10 ADD STACK,DIR-OFFSET GET CATACOMBS-TABLE,STACK >TABLE-VALUE PRINTI "You wade into the gloom ... and find " ZERO? TABLE-VALUE \?ELS31 EQUAL? PRSO,P?DOWN,P?UP \?ELS34 PRINTI "a severe paucity of passages leading " EQUAL? PRSO,P?UP \?ELS37 PRINTI "up" JUMP ?CND32 ?ELS37: PRINTI "down" JUMP ?CND32 ?ELS34: PRINTI "yourself face to face with a blank wall" ?CND32: PRINT PERIOD-CR RFALSE ?ELS31: PRINTI "a " EQUAL? PRSO,P?DOWN,P?UP \?ELS46 PRINTI "hidden passage leading " EQUAL? PRSO,P?UP \?ELS49 PRINTI "up" JUMP ?CND47 ?ELS49: PRINTI "down" ?CND47: PRINTI "wards." JUMP ?CND44 ?ELS46: PRINTI "dark and winding tunnel." ?CND44: EQUAL? TABLE-VALUE,99 \?ELS58 PRINTI " Unfortunately, you soon come to a point where the tunnel has collapsed, hopelessly blocking your way." CRLF RFALSE ?ELS58: EQUAL? TABLE-VALUE,80 \?ELS60 PRINTI " Unfortunately, it's too steep and slippery." CRLF RFALSE ?ELS60: CRLF CRLF EQUAL? TABLE-VALUE,40 \?ELS67 RETURN FORGOTTEN-STOREHOUSE ?ELS67: EQUAL? TABLE-VALUE,50 \?ELS69 RETURN WELL-BOTTOM ?ELS69: EQUAL? TABLE-VALUE,60 \?ELS71 RETURN LADDER-ROOM ?ELS71: EQUAL? TABLE-VALUE,70 \?ELS73 RETURN BURIAL-CHAMBER ?ELS73: SET 'CATACOMBS-LOC,TABLE-VALUE CALL DESCRIBE-ROOM IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?CND76 CALL SIDEKICK-FOLLOWS-YOU RETURN ROOMS ?CND76: RETURN ROOMS .FUNCT PHONE-BOOK-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?OPEN,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?READ \?ELS5 PRINTR "How useful. Now you know how many Smiths live in Cleveland." ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE \?ELS7 PRINTR "It is." ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \FALSE FSET? PHONE-BOOK,TOUCHBIT /FALSE FSET PHONE-BOOK,TOUCHBIT CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,13,26,TRUE-VALUE RFALSE .FUNCT WELL-BOTTOM-EXIT-F EQUAL? PRSO,P?EAST \?ELS3 SET 'CATACOMBS-LOC,21 RETURN CATACOMBS ?ELS3: SET 'CATACOMBS-LOC,22 RETURN CATACOMBS .FUNCT WELL-BOTTOM-LOOP-F CALL DESCRIBE-ROOM IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \FALSE CALL NORMAL-SIDEKICK-FOLLOW RFALSE .FUNCT LADDER-ROOM-EXIT-F PRINTI "You climb for a seemingly endless time, with the ladder becoming increasingly rickety. Suddenly a rung snaps, and you tumble into the darkness! You bounce painfully into a slanted ventilation shaft, slide through a wooden grating, and land amidst thousands of silk " ZERO? MALE /?ELS3 PRINTI "brassieres" JUMP ?CND1 ?ELS3: PRINTI "jockstraps" ?CND1: PRINT PERIOD-CR CRLF RETURN LAUNDRY-ROOM .FUNCT LADDER-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLIMB-UP,V?CLIMB \FALSE CALL DO-WALK,P?UP RSTACK .FUNCT RAFT-F,OARG=0,NUM=0 ZERO? OARG /?ELS5 FSET? RAFT,TOUCHBIT /?ELS11 EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " On the other hand, another Sultan had a considerably more modest vision of the afterlife, bringing only a simple rubber life raft." RTRUE ?ELS11: ZERO? RAFT-HELD /?ELS16 EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " There is a raft here, which you're keeping a hand on." RTRUE ?ELS16: EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \FALSE EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " A raft is floating nearby." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS29 IN? PROTAGONIST,BARGE \?ELS29 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?ELS29 EQUAL? RAFT-LOC-NUM,BARGE-LOC-NUM /?ELS29 CALL CANT-SEE,RAFT RSTACK ?ELS29: FSET? RAFT,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE EQUAL? PRSA,V?SINK \?ELS35 ZERO? RAFT-HELD \?THN41 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS40 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS40 ?THN41: CALL PERFORM,V?DEFLATE,RAFT RTRUE ?ELS40: PRINTR "It's not even in water!" ?ELS35: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS48 CALL IN-CATACOMBS ZERO? STACK /?ELS48 EQUAL? PRSI,WATER \?ELS48 CALL PERFORM,V?DROP,RAFT RTRUE ?ELS48: EQUAL? PRSA,V?THROW,V?DROP \?ELS52 EQUAL? PRSO,RAFT \?ELS52 CALL IN-CATACOMBS ZERO? STACK /?ELS52 REMOVE RAFT PRINTR "The raft floats into the darkness. Oh, well, easy come, easy go." ?ELS52: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DROP \?ELS56 ZERO? RAFT-HELD /?ELS56 SET 'RAFT-HELD,FALSE-VALUE MOVE RAFT,CANAL CALL SET-RAFT-LOC CALL QUEUE,I-CANAL,-1 PRINTI "The raft " EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS63 ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?ELS66 PRINTI "is left behind in the wake of" JUMP ?CND64 ?ELS66: SET 'RAFT-WAIT,BARGE-WAIT PRINTI "floats along beside" ?CND64: PRINTR " the barge." ?ELS63: PRINTR "is swept away." ?ELS56: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS73 EQUAL? PRSO,RAFT \?ELS73 FSET? RAFT,TOUCHBIT /?ELS73 FSET RAFT,TOUCHBIT CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,8,3 RFALSE ?ELS73: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS77 IN? YOUR-BODY,RAFT /?THN80 IN? SIDEKICKS-BODY,RAFT \?ELS77 ?THN80: PRINTR "It's too heavy." ?ELS77: EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD \?ELS83 IN? RAFT,BARGE \?ELS88 PRINTI "Hrumph! There's no reason to board the raft inside the barge! " CALL PERFORM,V?SINK,BARGE RTRUE ?ELS88: IN? RAFT,ODD-MACHINE \?ELS90 CALL DO-FIRST,STR?314,ODD-MACHINE RSTACK ?ELS90: CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,RAFT,MALE-GORILLA ZERO? STACK \?THN93 CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,RAFT,FEMALE-GORILLA ZERO? STACK /?ELS92 ?THN93: CALL NOT-ON-GROUND,RAFT RSTACK ?ELS92: ZERO? RAFT-HELD \?THN99 IN? RAFT,CANAL \FALSE ?THN99: IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT /FALSE CALL QUEUE,I-CANAL,-1 CALL SET-RAFT-LOC EQUAL? HERE,MY-KIND-OF-DOCK \?ELS103 SET 'NEARER-DOCK,MY-KIND-OF-DOCK JUMP ?CND101 ?ELS103: SET 'NEARER-DOCK,ABANDONED-DOCK ?CND101: GRTR? BARGE-LOC-NUM,RAFT-LOC-NUM \?CND106 IN? BARGE,CANAL \?CND106 SET 'BARGE-LOC-NUM,36 MOVE BARGE,ICY-DOCK ?CND106: PRINTI "As you" CALL AND-SIDEKICK,RAFT PRINTI " board the raft, " EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS113 PRINTI "it begins drifting away from the barge" ZERO? BARGE-UNDER-POWER /?CND111 CALL BARGE-FORGES-AHEAD JUMP ?CND111 ?ELS113: PRINTI "the current sweeps it away from the dock" ?CND111: PRINT PERIOD-CR ZERO? BARGE-WAIT /?ELS122 EQUAL? RAFT-LOC-NUM,BARGE-LOC-NUM \?ELS122 SET 'RAFT-WAIT,TRUE-VALUE JUMP ?CND120 ?ELS122: SET 'RAFT-WAIT,FALSE-VALUE ?CND120: SET 'RAFT-HELD,FALSE-VALUE MOVE RAFT,CANAL EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS131 MOVE PROTAGONIST,RAFT RTRUE ?ELS131: CRLF CALL GOTO,RAFT RSTACK ?ELS83: EQUAL? PRSA,V?STAND-ON \?ELS135 CALL PERFORM,V?BOARD,RAFT RTRUE ?ELS135: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KILL,V?MUNG,V?DEFLATE \?ELS137 FSET? RAFT,MUNGBIT \?ELS142 PRINT ALREADY-IS RTRUE ?ELS142: PRINTI """Phssss.""" ZERO? RAFT-HELD \?THN150 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?ELS149 ?THN150: PRINTI " The raft sinks" IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS156 CALL JIGS-UP,STR?315 RSTACK ?ELS156: SET 'RAFT-HELD,FALSE-VALUE REMOVE RAFT PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS149: FSET RAFT,MUNGBIT PUTP RAFT,P?SDESC,STR?316 CRLF RTRUE ?ELS137: EQUAL? PRSA,V?INFLATE \?ELS162 FSET? RAFT,MUNGBIT \?ELS167 PRINTR "Without a pump? Forget it." ?ELS167: PRINT ALREADY-IS RTRUE ?ELS162: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHAKE \?ELS171 EQUAL? HERE,CANAL \?ELS171 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS171 CALL SHAKE-BOAT RSTACK ?ELS171: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUSH-DIR \?ELS175 EQUAL? PRSI,INTDIR \?ELS175 IN? PROTAGONIST,RAFT \?ELS182 EQUAL? P-PRSA-WORD,W?MOVE /?ELS182 PRINTR "You're in it!" ?ELS182: IN? RAFT,CANAL \?ELS186 PRINT NO-STEERING RTRUE ?ELS186: CALL DO-WALK,P-DIRECTION MOVE RAFT,HERE RTRUE ?ELS175: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SET \?ELS190 IN? RAFT,CANAL \?ELS190 PRINT NO-STEERING RTRUE ?ELS190: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LAND \FALSE PRINTR "Try grabbing a dock." .FUNCT I-BEETLES CALL IN-CATACOMBS ZERO? STACK /FALSE CALL QUEUE,I-BEETLES,6 IN? PROTAGONIST,HERE \?ELS8 RANDOM CATACOMBS-LOC >CATACOMBS-LOC IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?CND9 MOVE SIDEKICK,CATACOMBS ?CND9: MOVE PROTAGONIST,CATACOMBS SET 'HERE,CATACOMBS FSET CATACOMBS,MUNGBIT CALL OPEN-EYES-AND-REMOVE-HANDS PRINTR " Suddenly the water explodes with life! A swarm of the nastiest beetles this side of Pluto starts munching your flesh. You escape by running blindly through the catacombs, completely losing track of your location." ?ELS8: CALL HARMLESS-SNAP,STR?317 RSTACK .FUNCT I-CRABS,OBJ CALL IN-CATACOMBS ZERO? STACK /FALSE CALL QUEUE,I-CRABS,10 IN? PROTAGONIST,HERE \?ELS8 CALL OPEN-EYES-AND-REMOVE-HANDS FSET CATACOMBS,MUNGBIT PRINTI " You feel an intense pain, like a tuft of hair being yanked out -- except that it's coming from your feet, and in about a hundred places. As you flail at the pack of Martian sand crabs, the splashing startles them away" FIRST? PROTAGONIST >OBJ \?ELS13 EQUAL? OBJ,GARMENT,COMIC-BOOK /?ELS13 EQUAL? OBJ,TORCH \?CND16 NEXT? TORCH \?CND16 NEXT? TORCH >OBJ /?KLU25 ?KLU25: ?CND16: PRINTI ", but during the struggle you seem to have lost your " CALL DPRINT,OBJ PRINT PERIOD-CR REMOVE OBJ CALL NOW-DARK? RSTACK ?ELS13: PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS8: CALL HARMLESS-SNAP,STR?318 RSTACK .FUNCT I-GATOR CALL IN-CATACOMBS ZERO? STACK /FALSE IN? PROTAGONIST,HERE \?ELS8 CALL JIGS-UP,STR?319 RSTACK ?ELS8: CALL QUEUE,I-GATOR,12 CALL HARMLESS-SNAP,STR?320 RSTACK .FUNCT HARMLESS-SNAP,STRING PRINTI " The calm water is suddenly shattered by the jaws of a huge Martian " PRINT STRING PRINTR " snapping harmlessly toward you. Good thing you were in the raft." .FUNCT MARTIAN-DESSERT-EXIT-F FSET? MARTIAN-DESSERT,MUNGBIT /?CND1 FSET MARTIAN-DESSERT,MUNGBIT PRINTI "I guess the paths aren't a mirage..." CRLF CRLF ?CND1: EQUAL? PRSO,P?NW \?ELS8 RETURN RUINED-CASTLE-2 ?ELS8: RETURN OASIS .FUNCT WATTZ-UPP-DOCK-ENTER-F PUTP HOLE,P?SDESC,STR?132 RETURN WATTZ-UPP-DOCK .FUNCT MARTIAN-DESSERT-ENTER-F PUTP HOLE,P?SDESC,STR?132 RETURN MARTIAN-DESSERT .FUNCT CIRCLE-ISNT-BLACK ZERO? CIRCLE-BLACK \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,OASIS \FALSE RTRUE .FUNCT OASIS-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5 ZERO? CIRCLE-BLACK \?ELS5 PUTP HOLE,P?SDESC,STR?323 RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \?ELS9 PRINTI "This is a remarkable sight on arid Mars -- subsurface water bubbling up in a fountain, flowing around" CALL APRINT,HOLE PRINTI ", and soaking into the thirsty sand. A path curves east around the " PRINTD DUNES CALL UNCHARTABLE-DESERT,STR?258 RSTACK ?ELS9: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE ZERO? SIDEKICK-DROWNED /?CND12 MOVE SIDEKICK,HERE SET 'SIDEKICK-DROWNED,FALSE-VALUE PRINTI " Like a wet watermelon seed being squirted from between two fingers, " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI " is ejected from the fountain and lands in a dripping heap at your feet. ""Good thing I'm so good at holding my breath,"" " CALL HE-SHE PRINTI " says." CRLF ?CND12: ZERO? CIRCLE-FADED \FALSE SET 'CIRCLE-FADED,TRUE-VALUE SET 'CIRCLE-BLACK,FALSE-VALUE PUTP HOLE,P?SDESC,STR?323 PRINTR " Inexplicably, the circle fades before your very eyes, slowly going from black to white." .FUNCT ICY-DOCK-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5 FSET? ICY-DOCK,TOUCHBIT /?ELS5 CALL RUNNING?,I-ION-DEATH ZERO? STACK \?ELS5 CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,4,14 RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \FALSE SET 'FOLLOW-FLAG,3 CALL QUEUE,I-FOLLOW,2 REMOVE SIDEKICK SET 'SIDEKICK-DROWNED,TRUE-VALUE PRINTI " With a whoop of surprise, " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI " loses " CALL HIS-HER PRINTI " footing on the ice, skids right into the canal, and is immediately dragged under by the strong current produced by the underwater teleporters. You search frantically for any sign of " CALL HIM-HER PRINTI ", but after several agonizingly long minutes you abandon all hope. As you gaze across " CALL DPRINT-SIDEKICK PRINTI "'s watery grave" CALL MEMORIAM RSTACK .FUNCT TUNDRA-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "This snowy plain is barren of all signs of life. Drifts block travel in all directions but north, south and southeast. It's pretty cold, but nothing a tough g" ZERO? MALE /?ELS8 PRINTI "uy" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "al" ?CND6: PRINTI " like yourself can't stand." RTRUE .FUNCT PENGUIN-PARK-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "Even on Mars, one could hardly expect a polar visit without seeing penguins. Well, here they are! A whole waddling mass of them, " ZERO? PENGUINS-PARTED /?ELS8 PRINTI "standing politely on either side of" JUMP ?CND6 ?ELS8: PRINTI "a pack so dense they completely block" ?CND6: PRINTI " the path to the southeast. Other paths lead west and northwest." ZERO? PENGUINS-PARTED \TRUE CRLF PRINTI " One penguin teasingly waves a sign in your direction, much like a matador waving his cape toward a bull." RTRUE .FUNCT PENGUINS-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?GIVE \?ELS5 EQUAL? PRSO,TEN-MARSMID-COIN \?ELS10 SET 'PENGUINS-PARTED,TRUE-VALUE REMOVE TEN-MARSMID-COIN MOVE ONE-MARSMID-COIN,PROTAGONIST PRINTR "The penguins, satisfied by your donation to the PRF, part ranks for you to pass. The going rate for donations to the fund must be nine marsmids, since one of the penguins hands you a one marsmid coin." ?ELS10: EQUAL? PRSO,ONE-MARSMID-COIN \FALSE PRINTR "Nine marsmids is the minimum contribution to the PRF." ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHOW \FALSE EQUAL? PRSO,TEN-MARSMID-COIN \FALSE PRINTR "The penguins wiggle eagerly." .FUNCT GYPSY-CAMP-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-END \FALSE ZERO? PARENTS-KILLED \?CND6 SET 'PARENTS-KILLED,TRUE-VALUE ZERO? VERBOSITY /TRUE PRINTI " A male and a female robot emerge from the tent, waving in a gesture of gypsyish greeting. ""Hello, weary traveller" IN? SIDEKICK,HERE \?CND12 PRINTI "s" ?CND12: PRINTI "! We are but poor gypsies, but we invite you to spend the night in our humble tent and share our simple but delicious oil and silicon stew."" Suddenly, in an event so shocking that even a hardened space opera hero" ZERO? MALE \?CND15 PRINTI "ine" ?CND15: PRINTI " like yourself is stunned beyond belief, a meteorite shrieks through the atmosphere and completely obliterates the two robots." CRLF ?CND6: IN? BABY,TENT \FALSE IN? BLANKET,BABY /FALSE PRINTR " You hear the sound of high-pitched crying, slightly muffled, coming from inside the tent." .FUNCT OUTSIDE-TENT-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK-TO,V?BOARD,V?ENTER \?ELS5 CALL DO-WALK,P?NORTH RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \?ELS7 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \FALSE PRINT CANT-FROM-HERE RTRUE .FUNCT INSIDE-TENT-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?LEAVE,V?EXIT \?ELS5 CALL DO-WALK,P?SOUTH RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WALK-TO,V?BOARD,V?ENTER \?ELS7 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS7: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?EXAMINE \?ELS9 CALL V-LOOK RSTACK ?ELS9: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \FALSE PRINT NOTHING-NEW RTRUE .FUNCT TENT-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \FALSE CALL QUEUE,I-CRY,-1 RSTACK .FUNCT I-CRY IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS5 CALL DEQUEUE,I-CRY RFALSE ?ELS5: CALL VISIBLE?,BABY ZERO? STACK /FALSE PRINTI " The baby continues to wail at the top of its lungs." RANDOM 100 LESS? 12,STACK /?CND10 PRINTI " It's amazing that such small lungs have such a high top." ?CND10: CRLF RTRUE .FUNCT BABY-F,OARG=0 ZERO? OARG /?ELS5 FSET? BABY,TOUCHBIT /FALSE EQUAL? OARG,M-OBJDESC? /TRUE PRINTI " A little baby robot is shivering in the corner. It stops crying long enough to open a tiny metal eyelid and look at you. """ ZERO? MALE /?ELS19 PRINTI "Momm" JUMP ?CND17 ?ELS19: PRINTI "Dadd" ?CND17: PRINTI "y?"" it says, in a quavering, high-pitched, metallic voice." RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TELL \?ELS24 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS27 SET 'WINNER,PROTAGONIST CALL PERFORM,V?KISS,BABY JUMP ?CND25 ?ELS27: PRINTI """Goo goo ga ga buzz whirr click.""" CRLF ?CND25: CALL STOP RSTACK ?ELS24: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS35 EQUAL? PRSI,BLANKET /?THN32 ?ELS35: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WRAP,V?PUT-ON \?ELS37 EQUAL? PRSO,BLANKET /?THN32 ?ELS37: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS31 EQUAL? PRSI,BASKET \?ELS31 IN? BLANKET,BASKET \?ELS31 ?THN32: FSET? BLANKET,UNTEEDBIT /FALSE IN? BLANKET,BABY \?CND40 PRINT SENILITY-STRIKES RTRUE ?CND40: FSET BABY,TOUCHBIT FSET BLANKET,NDESCBIT MOVE BLANKET,BABY EQUAL? PRSI,BASKET \?CND45 MOVE BABY,BASKET ?CND45: PUTP BABY,P?SDESC,STR?332 CALL DEQUEUE,I-CRY PRINTR "The baby stops crying and, in the comfy warmth of the blanket, slips into a calm sleep. A peaceful smile creeps over its face." ?ELS31: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS53 EQUAL? PRSI,SHEET /?THN50 ?ELS53: EQUAL? PRSA,V?WRAP,V?PUT-ON \?ELS49 EQUAL? PRSO,SHEET \?ELS49 ?THN50: IN? BLANKET,BABY /?THN61 FSET? SHEET,MUNGBIT /?THN61 FSET? SHEET,PLURALBIT \?ELS60 ?THN61: CALL WASTES RSTACK ?ELS60: PRINTR "The sheet provides little warmth." ?ELS49: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \?ELS66 EQUAL? PRSI,BASKET \?ELS66 IN? BASKET,FRONT-STOOP \?ELS66 FIRST? BASKET /?ELS66 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS73 MOVE BABY,BASKET CALL ABANDON-BABY,STR?333 RSTACK ?ELS73: CALL CRYING-ALERTS-MATRON RSTACK ?ELS66: EQUAL? PRSA,V?REMOVE \?ELS77 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS77 MOVE BLANKET,PROTAGONIST FCLEAR BLANKET,NDESCBIT PUTP BABY,P?SDESC,STR?331 CALL QUEUE,I-CRY,-1 PRINTI "The baby robo" PRINT TWICE-AS-LOUD CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,BABY,FRONT-STOOP ZERO? STACK /TRUE PRINTI " " CALL CRYING-ALERTS-MATRON RTRUE ?ELS77: EQUAL? PRSA,V?KISS \?ELS84 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS89 CALL PERFORM,V?ALARM,BABY RTRUE ?ELS89: PRINTI "The " CALL DPRINT,BABY PRINTI " reacts as a human baby would react if kissed by a giant walking metal machine. In other words, i" PRINT TWICE-AS-LOUD RTRUE ?ELS84: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LISTEN \?ELS93 IN? BLANKET,BABY /?ELS93 PRINTR """Waaaa!""" ?ELS93: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SHAKE \?ELS97 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS102 PRINTR "The baby's asleep!" ?ELS102: PRINTI "This upsets the " CALL DPRINT,BABY PRINTI "'s equilibrium mechanism. I" PRINT TWICE-AS-LOUD RTRUE ?ELS97: EQUAL? PRSA,V?ALARM \?ELS106 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS106 PRINTR "The baby whimpers briefly, but the warm coziness of the blanket soon lulls it back to sleep." ?ELS106: CALL TAKE-BABY-FROM-STOOP,BABY ZERO? STACK \TRUE EQUAL? PRSA,V?SUCKLE \?ELS112 ZERO? MALE /?ELS117 PRINTR "You're a male, remember? You obviously have a poor mammary." ?ELS117: PRINTR "How touching that the baby robot has stirred your maternal instinct. Unfortunately, your mammaries won't produce #3 machine oil." ?ELS112: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-NEAR,V?PUT \?ELS122 EQUAL? PRSI,ORPHANAGE-DOOR \?ELS122 CALL PERFORM,V?PUT-ON,BABY,FRONT-STOOP RTRUE ?ELS122: EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?ELS126 PRINTI "The " CALL DPRINT,BABY PRINTI " is " IN? BLANKET,BABY \?ELS129 PRINTI "sleep" JUMP ?CND127 ?ELS129: PRINTI "cry" ?CND127: PRINTR "ing." ?ELS126: EQUAL? PRSA,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN \FALSE PRINT HUH RTRUE .FUNCT CRYING-ALERTS-MATRON PRINTI "The baby's crying alerts someone within the igloo. " CALL SHOO,STR?334 RSTACK .FUNCT SHOO,STRING CALL DEQUEUE,I-ORPHANAGE PRINT MATRON-DESC PRINTI "appears. ""Caught you, you baby-" PRINT STRING PRINTI "ing gypsy!"" she cries, in a voice that, in a more mountainous region, could probably initiate an avalanche. ""Begone!"" She " CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,BABY,FRONT-STOOP ZERO? STACK /?CND1 PRINTI "thrusts the babe into your arms and " ?CND1: IN? BASKET,FRONT-STOOP \?CND4 MOVE BASKET,PROTAGONIST ?CND4: CALL ULTIMATELY-IN?,BABY,FRONT-STOOP ZERO? STACK /?CND7 MOVE BABY,PROTAGONIST ?CND7: PRINTI "drives you away with blows that would fell an elephant." CRLF CRLF EQUAL? HERE,ORPHANAGE-FOYER \?ELS14 CALL GOTO,SOUTH-POLE RSTACK ?ELS14: CALL GOTO,GYPSY-CAMP RSTACK .FUNCT SOUTH-POLE-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \FALSE ZERO? COTTON-BALLS-SEEN /FALSE FSET? COTTON-BALLS,TRYTAKEBIT \FALSE MOVE COTTON-BALLS,HERE FSET COTTON-BALLS,NDESCBIT RTRUE .FUNCT ORPHANAGE-DOOR-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?KNOCK \FALSE EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \FALSE CALL VISIBLE?,BABY ZERO? STACK /?ELS12 CALL SHOO,STR?334 RSTACK ?ELS12: CALL SHOO,STR?339 RSTACK .FUNCT FRONT-STOOP-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-NEAR,V?PUT-ON,V?PUT \?ELS5 EQUAL? PRSO,BABY \?ELS10 IN? BABY,BASKET /?ELS10 IN? BLANKET,BABY \?CND13 CALL COLD-CAUSES-CRYING ?CND13: MOVE PRSO,FRONT-STOOP CALL CRYING-ALERTS-MATRON RSTACK ?ELS10: EQUAL? PRSO,BABY,BASKET \FALSE IN? BABY,BASKET \FALSE IN? BLANKET,BABY /?ELS24 CALL CRYING-ALERTS-MATRON RSTACK ?ELS24: MOVE BASKET,FRONT-STOOP CALL ABANDON-BABY,STR?340 RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?STAND-ON,V?ENTER,V?BOARD \?ELS28 CALL WASTES RSTACK ?ELS28: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \FALSE EQUAL? PRSO,BABY \FALSE CALL COLD-CAUSES-CRYING CALL CRYING-ALERTS-MATRON RSTACK .FUNCT COLD-CAUSES-CRYING PRINTI "As you place the baby on the cold doorstep, i" PRINT TWICE-AS-LOUD PRINTI " " RTRUE .FUNCT ABANDON-BABY,STRING CALL QUEUE,I-ORPHANAGE,5 MOVE PROTAGONIST,HERE PRINTI "You place the baby gently " PRINT STRING PRINTR " and sneak behind a nearby snowdrift." .FUNCT I-ORPHANAGE REMOVE BABY REMOVE BASKET FCLEAR ORPHANAGE-DOOR,LOCKEDBIT EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \FALSE SET 'FOLLOW-FLAG,15 CALL QUEUE,I-FOLLOW,2 PRINTI " " PRINT MATRON-DESC PRINTI "opens the " PRINTD ORPHANAGE-DOOR PRINTR ". She coos over the baby for a moment then carries it inside, closing the door behind her." .FUNCT ORPHANAGE-FOYER-F,RARG EQUAL? RARG,M-ENTER \?ELS5 FSET? COTTON-BALLS,TRYTAKEBIT \?CND6 MOVE COTTON-BALLS,HERE FCLEAR COTTON-BALLS,NDESCBIT ?CND6: CALL QUEUED?,I-ORPHANAGE-BOOT ZERO? STACK \FALSE CALL QUEUE,I-ORPHANAGE-BOOT,5 RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? RARG,M-LOOK \FALSE PRINTI "The igloo's front hall has rooms to the northeast and northwest. A barred window is next to the " CALL OPEN-CLOSED,ORPHANAGE-DOOR PRINTI " door to the south." RTRUE .FUNCT IGLOO-ENTER-F PRINTI "Nursery" CRLF CALL I-ORPHANAGE-BOOT CALL DEQUEUE,I-ORPHANAGE-BOOT RFALSE .FUNCT I-ORPHANAGE-BOOT EQUAL? HERE,ORPHANAGE-FOYER \?ELS5 PRINTI " " CALL SHOO,STR?339 FCLEAR ORPHANAGE-DOOR,OPENBIT FSET ORPHANAGE-DOOR,LOCKEDBIT RTRUE ?ELS5: EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \?ELS7 FSET? ORPHANAGE-DOOR,OPENBIT \?ELS7 PRINTI " The " PRINTD ORPHANAGE-DOOR PRINTI " slams shut." CRLF FCLEAR ORPHANAGE-DOOR,OPENBIT FSET ORPHANAGE-DOOR,LOCKEDBIT RTRUE ?ELS7: FCLEAR ORPHANAGE-DOOR,OPENBIT FSET ORPHANAGE-DOOR,LOCKEDBIT RFALSE .FUNCT COTTON-BALLS-F EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \?ELS5 FSET? COTTON-BALLS,TRYTAKEBIT \?ELS5 CALL TOUCHING?,COTTON-BALLS ZERO? STACK /?ELS5 CALL CANT-REACH,COTTON-BALLS RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?TAKE \?ELS9 FSET? COTTON-BALLS,TRYTAKEBIT \?ELS9 CALL INCREMENT-SCORE,16,29,TRUE-VALUE FCLEAR COTTON-BALLS,TRYTAKEBIT RFALSE ?ELS9: FSET? COTTON-BALLS,UNTEEDBIT \?ELS13 EQUAL? PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE PRINTR "Let's just say that some poor male raccoon is speaking in a particularly high-pitched voice." ?ELS13: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT-ON,V?PUT \?ELS22 EQUAL? PRSI,EARS \?ELS22 ZERO? GONE-APE /?ELS29 PRINT DEXTERITY RTRUE ?ELS29: FSET COTTON-BALLS,WORNBIT FSET EARS,MUNGBIT MOVE COTTON-BALLS,PROTAGONIST PRINT MUFFLED PRINTI " have " CALL DPRINT,COTTON-BALLS PRINTI " stuffed in " PRINTD EARS PRINT PERIOD-CR RTRUE ?ELS22: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?REMOVE \?ELS34 FSET? COTTON-BALLS,WORNBIT \?ELS34 ZERO? GONE-APE /?CND37 CALL PERFORM,V?TAKE,COTTON-BALLS RTRUE ?CND37: CALL OPEN-EYES-AND-REMOVE-HANDS FCLEAR COTTON-BALLS,WORNBIT CALL SENSE-AGAIN,EARS RSTACK ?ELS34: EQUAL? PRSA,V?PUT \FALSE EQUAL? PRSI,NOSE \FALSE PRINTI "The " PRINTD COTTON-BALLS PRINTR " is too itchy." .FUNCT IGLOO-F EQUAL? PRSA,V?BOARD,V?WALK-TO,V?ENTER \?ELS5 EQUAL? HERE,ORPHANAGE-FOYER \?ELS10 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS10: EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \FALSE CALL DO-WALK,P?IN RSTACK ?ELS5: EQUAL? PRSA,V?DISEMBARK,V?EXIT,V?LEAVE \?ELS14 EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \?ELS19 PRINT LOOK-AROUND RTRUE ?ELS19: CALL DO-WALK,P?OUT RSTACK ?ELS14: EQUAL? PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?ELS23 EQUAL? HERE,SOUTH-POLE \?ELS28 CALL PERFORM-PRSA,WINDOW RTRUE ?ELS28: CALL V-LOOK RSTACK ?ELS23: EQUAL? PRSA,V?SEARCH \FALSE PRINT NOTHING-NEW RTRUE .ENDI