.FUNCT	INIT-STATUS-LINE
	LESS?	WIDTH,38 \?CND1
	PRINTI	"[Screen too narrow.]"
	CRLF	
	QUIT	
?CND1:	SET	'OHERE,FALSE-VALUE
	SET	'OLD-LEN,0
	SPLIT	1
	SCREEN	S-WINDOW
	HLIGHT	H-INVERSE
	CURSET	1,1
	ICALL2	PRINT-SPACES,WIDTH
	GRTR?	WIDTH,74 \?CND5
	CURSET	1,51
	PRINTI	"Score:"
	CURSET	1,64
	PRINTI	"Moves:"
?CND5:	HLIGHT	H-NORMAL
	SCREEN	S-TEXT
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	UPDATE-STATUS-LINE
	SCREEN	S-WINDOW
	HLIGHT	H-NORMAL
	HLIGHT	H-INVERSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,OHERE /?CND1
	SET	'OHERE,HERE
	DIROUT	D-TABLE-ON,SL-TABLE
	ICALL1	SAY-HERE
	DIROUT	D-TABLE-OFF
	CURSET	1,2
	ICALL2	PRINT-SPACES,OLD-LEN
	GET	SL-TABLE,0 >OLD-LEN
	CURSET	1,2
	ICALL1	SAY-HERE
?CND1:	GRTR?	WIDTH,74 \?CCL5
	CURSET	1,58
	PRINTN	SCORE
	PRINTC	32
	CURSET	1,71
	PRINTN	MOVES
	JUMP	?CND3
?CCL5:	DIROUT	D-TABLE-ON,SL-TABLE
	PRINTN	SCORE
	PRINTC	47
	PRINTN	MOVES
	PRINTC	32
	DIROUT	D-TABLE-OFF
	GET	SL-TABLE,0
	ADD	STACK,1
	SUB	WIDTH,STACK
	CURSET	1,STACK
	PRINTN	SCORE
	PRINTC	47
	PRINTN	MOVES
	PRINTC	32
?CND3:	HLIGHT	H-NORMAL
	SCREEN	S-TEXT
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	PRINT-SPACES,CNT
?PRG1:	DLESS?	'CNT,0 /TRUE
	PRINTC	32
	JUMP	?PRG1


	.FUNCT	SAY-HERE
	ZERO?	LIT \?PRG6
	PRINTI	"Darkness"
	RTRUE	
?PRG6:	PRINTD	HERE
	GRTR?	WIDTH,74 \TRUE
	IN?	PROTAGONIST,POETRY-APPRECIATION-CHAIR \?CCL12
	PRINTI	", in the chair"
	RTRUE	
?CCL12:	IN?	PROTAGONIST,HERE /?CCL16
	PRINTI	", in the "
	LOC	PROTAGONIST
	PRINTD	STACK
	RTRUE	
?CCL16:	ZERO?	LYING-DOWN /TRUE
	PRINTI	", lying down"
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	NOT-HERE-OBJECT-F,TBL,PRSO?,OBJ,X
	SET	'PRSO?,TRUE-VALUE
	EQUAL?	PRSO,NOT-HERE-OBJECT \?CCL3
	EQUAL?	PRSI,NOT-HERE-OBJECT \?CCL3
	PRINTR	"Those things aren't here!"
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSO,NOT-HERE-OBJECT \?CCL9
	SET	'TBL,P-PRSO
	JUMP	?CND1
?CCL9:	SET	'TBL,P-PRSI
	SET	'PRSO?,FALSE-VALUE
?CND1:	ZERO?	PRSO? /?CCL12
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?FIND,V?FOLLOW,V?CALL /?CCL14
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WHAT,V?WHERE,V?WHO /?CCL14
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WAIT-FOR,V?WALK-TO,V?WHAT-ABOUT /?CCL14
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?I-AM,V?CARVE,V?CALL-WITH \?CND10
?CCL14:	SET	'X,TRUE-VALUE
	CALL	FIND-NOT-HERE,TBL,PRSO? >OBJ
	ZERO?	OBJ /FALSE
	EQUAL?	OBJ,NOT-HERE-OBJECT /?CND10
	RTRUE	
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ASK-ABOUT,V?ASK-FOR,V?TELL-ABOUT /?CCL25
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?MY-NAME \?CND10
?CCL25:	SET	'X,TRUE-VALUE
	CALL	FIND-NOT-HERE,TBL,PRSO? >OBJ
	ZERO?	OBJ /FALSE
	EQUAL?	OBJ,NOT-HERE-OBJECT \TRUE
?CND10:	ZERO?	X /?CCL35
	PRINTI	"You'll have to be more specific, I'm afraid."
	CRLF	
	JUMP	?CND33
?CCL35:	EQUAL?	WINNER,PROTAGONIST \?CCL39
	PRINTI	"You can't "
	EQUAL?	P-XNAM,W?POEM,W?POETRY,W?CONVERSAT \?PRG47
	PRINTI	"hear"
	JUMP	?CND42
?PRG47:	PRINTI	"see"
?CND42:	CALL2	NAME?,P-XNAM
	ZERO?	STACK \?CND49
	PRINTI	" any"
?CND49:	ICALL2	NOT-HERE-PRINT,PRSO?
	PRINTI	" here!"
	CRLF	
	JUMP	?CND33
?CCL39:	EQUAL?	WINNER,FORD \?PRD58
	ZERO?	FORD-SLEEPING \FALSE
?PRD58:	EQUAL?	WINNER,BEAST \?PRG63
	FSET?	BEAST,MUNGEDBIT /FALSE
?PRG63:	PRINTI	"Looking confused,"
	ICALL	ARTICLE,WINNER,TRUE-VALUE
	PRINTI	" says, ""I don't see"
	CALL2	NAME?,P-XNAM
	ZERO?	STACK \?CND67
	PRINTI	" any"
?CND67:	ICALL2	NOT-HERE-PRINT,PRSO?
	PRINTI	" here!"""
	CRLF	
?CND33:	CALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	FIND-NOT-HERE,TBL,PRSO?,M-F,OBJ
	CALL2	MOBY-FIND,TBL >M-F
	EQUAL?	1,M-F \?CCL3
	ZERO?	PRSO? /?CCL6
	SET	'PRSO,P-MOBY-FOUND
	RFALSE	
?CCL6:	SET	'PRSI,P-MOBY-FOUND
	RFALSE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	P-XNAM,W?FLUFF \?CCL8
	ZERO?	PRSO? /?CCL11
	SET	'PRSO,POCKET-FLUFF
	RFALSE	
?CCL11:	SET	'PRSI,POCKET-FLUFF
	RFALSE	
?CCL8:	EQUAL?	P-XNAM,W?TOOL,W?TOOLS \?CCL13
	ZERO?	PRSO? /?CCL16
	SET	'PRSO,TWEEZERS
	RFALSE	
?CCL16:	SET	'PRSI,TWEEZERS
	RFALSE	
?CCL13:	RETURN	NOT-HERE-OBJECT


	.FUNCT	NOT-HERE-PRINT,PRSO?,?TMP1
	ZERO?	P-OFLAG /?CCL3
	ZERO?	P-XADJ /?CND4
	PRINTC	32
	PRINTB	P-XADJ
?CND4:	ZERO?	P-XNAM /FALSE
	PRINTC	32
	PRINTB	P-XNAM
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	ZERO?	PRSO? /?CCL14
	GET	P-ITBL,P-NC1 >?TMP1
	GET	P-ITBL,P-NC1L
	CALL	BUFFER-PRINT,?TMP1,STACK,FALSE-VALUE
	RSTACK	
?CCL14:	GET	P-ITBL,P-NC2 >?TMP1
	GET	P-ITBL,P-NC2L
	CALL	BUFFER-PRINT,?TMP1,STACK,FALSE-VALUE
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	LIGHT-F
	IN?	FLEET,HERE /?PRD5
	EQUAL?	HERE,AIRLOCK,INSIDE-WHALE \?CCL3
?PRD5:	CALL2	VISIBLE?,THUMB
	ZERO?	STACK /?CCL3
	EQUAL?	LIGHT,PRSI \?CCL10
	ICALL	PERFORM,PRSA,PRSO,THUMB
	RTRUE	
?CCL10:	ICALL	PERFORM,PRSA,THUMB,PRSI
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	HERE,GALLEY \?CCL12
	CALL1	UNIMPORTANT-THING-F
	RSTACK	
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	LIGHT,PRSO \?CCL14
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WHAT,V?FOLLOW,V?FIND /FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WHAT-ABOUT,V?WALK-TO,V?WHERE /FALSE
?CCL14:	EQUAL?	LIGHT,PRSI \?CCL20
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT,V?ASK-ABOUT /FALSE
?CCL20:	EQUAL?	HERE,BEDROOM /?CCL24
	CALL2	CANT-SEE,LIGHT
	RSTACK	
?CCL24:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LAMP-ON \?CCL26
	FSET?	HERE,ONBIT \?CCL29
	PRINTR	"It is."
?CCL29:	SET	'LIT,TRUE-VALUE
	FSET	HERE,ONBIT
	FSET	DARK-OBJECT,DARKBIT
	MOVE	DARK-OBJECT,DARK
	PRINTI	"Good start to the day. Pity it's going to be the worst one of your life. The light is now on."
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	ICALL1	V-LOOK
	SET	'OHERE,FALSE-VALUE
	RTRUE	
?CCL26:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LAMP-OFF \FALSE
	CALL1	V-DIG
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	GLOBAL-SLEEP-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE,V?WALK-TO \FALSE
	ICALL2	PERFORM,V?SLEEP
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	SPEECH-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?MAKE,V?GIVE \?CCL3
	PRINTI	"This isn't the time"
	EQUAL?	HERE,DAIS /?PRG10
	PRINTI	" or the place"
?PRG10:	PRINTR	" for making speeches."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?READ \FALSE
	PRINTR	"It's extemporaneous."


	.FUNCT	GROUND-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?THROUGH \?CCL3
	EQUAL?	HERE,ACCESS-SPACE \?CCL3
	PRINTR	"The mesh is too fine."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?CLIMB-FOO,V?CLIMB-ON,V?CLIMB-UP /?CTR8
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?BOARD \?CCL9
?CTR8:	CALL1	V-DIG
	RSTACK	
?CCL9:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-UNDER \?CCL13
	CALL1	V-COUNT
	RSTACK	
?CCL13:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LEAVE \?CCL15
	CALL2	DO-WALK,P?UP
	RSTACK	
?CCL15:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LIE-DOWN \?CCL17
	IN?	PROTAGONIST,BED \?CCL20
	CALL2	OUT-OF-FIRST,BED
	RSTACK	
?CCL20:	ZERO?	LYING-DOWN /?CCL22
	PRINT	YOU-ARE
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL22:	EQUAL?	HERE,FRONT-OF-HOUSE \?CCL26
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?BLOCK,BULLDOZER
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,GROUND
	RTRUE	
?CCL26:	SET	'LYING-DOWN,TRUE-VALUE
	SET	'OHERE,FALSE-VALUE
	PRINTR	"You are now lying on the ground."
?CCL17:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL30
	EQUAL?	HERE,GUTS-ROOM \?CCL33
	PRINTR	"The walls, floor, and ceiling are covered with little pieces of flesh and bone."
?CCL33:	EQUAL?	HERE,ACCESS-SPACE \FALSE
	PRINTR	"The floor is an open metal mesh, like the floor of a catwalk."
?CCL30:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?CCL41
	EQUAL?	HERE,ACCESS-SPACE \?CCL41
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?LOOK-INSIDE,FISH-HOLE
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,GROUND
	RTRUE	
?CCL41:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ENJOY \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,FRONT-OF-HOUSE \FALSE
	ZERO?	LYING-DOWN /FALSE
	PRINTR	"It occurs to you that you've never deliberately lain in any mud before and that it's actually a pleasant sort of squishy sensation. You let the mud ooze between your toes. You may be here for some time, so you may as well make the most of it."


	.FUNCT	WALLS-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,GUTS-ROOM \FALSE
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?EXAMINE,GROUND
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	CEILING-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-UNDER \?CCL3
	ICALL2	PERFORM,V?LOOK
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,GUTS-ROOM \FALSE
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?EXAMINE,GROUND
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	WINDOW-F
	ZERO?	LIT \?CCL3
	PRINT	TOO-DARK
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?MUNG \?CCL7
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?KILL,WINDOW
	RTRUE	
?CCL7:	EQUAL?	HERE,BEDROOM \?CCL9
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?CCL12
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?OPEN,CURTAINS
	RTRUE	
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN \FALSE
	PRINTR	"The bloody thing's been jammed shut for months, now."
?CCL9:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE \?CCL18
	PRINTR	"You see the country lane."
?CCL18:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN \FALSE
	PRINT	BUDGE
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	STAIRS-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?CLIMB-FOO,V?CLIMB-UP \?CCL3
	CALL2	DO-WALK,P?UP
	RSTACK	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?CLIMB-DOWN \FALSE
	CALL2	DO-WALK,P?DOWN
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	SKY-F
	FSET?	HERE,OUTSIDEBIT /?CCL3
	CALL2	CANT-SEE,SKY
	RSTACK	
?CCL3:	IN?	FLEET,HERE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	PRINTI	"The sky is filled with the ships of the "
	PRINTD	FLEET
	PRINTR	"."


	.FUNCT	STAR-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,WAR-CHAMBER \?CCL6
	PRINTI	"The approaching star is a small, unregarded yellow sun, with nine planets of varying sizes. The "
	PRINTD	THIRD-PLANET
	PRINTR	" catches your attention."
?CCL6:	EQUAL?	HERE,DAIS,SPEEDBOAT \?CCL10
	PRINTR	"The sun is a smallish orange star."
?CCL10:	EQUAL?	HERE,FRONT-OF-HOUSE,COUNTRY-LANE,BACK-OF-HOUSE \?CCL14
	PRINTR	"The sun is a smallish yellow star."
?CCL14:	CALL2	CANT-SEE,STAR
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	HANDS-F,ACTOR
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WAVE \?CCL3
	SET	'PRSO,FALSE-VALUE
	ICALL2	PERFORM,V?WAVE-AT
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHAKE \FALSE
	CALL	FIND-IN,HERE,ACTORBIT >ACTOR
	ZERO?	ACTOR /?PRG9
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?THANK,ACTOR
	RTRUE	
?PRG9:	PRINTR	"Pleased to meet you."


	.FUNCT	EYES-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?OPEN \?CCL3
	PRINTR	"They are."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?CLOSE \FALSE
	IN?	BEAST,HERE \?PRG13
	PRINTI	"The Beast doesn't notice."
	PRINT	GETTING-CLOSE
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?PRG13:	PRINTR	"That won't help."


	.FUNCT	PROTAGONIST-F
	EQUAL?	PRSO,NO-TEA \FALSE
	ZERO?	PRSI /FALSE
	CALL1	NO-TEA-F
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	ME-F,OLIT
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TELL \?CCL3
	PRINTI	"Talking to yourself is a sign of impending mental collapse."
	CRLF	
	CALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	RSTACK	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LISTEN \?CCL7
	PRINTR	"Yes?"
?CCL7:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ALARM \?CCL11
	PRINT	YOU-ARE
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL11:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?GIVE \?CCL15
	EQUAL?	PRSI,ME \?CCL15
	IN?	PRSO,PROTAGONIST \?CCL20
	EQUAL?	PRSO,BABEL-FISH,NO-TEA /?CCL20
	CALL1	PRE-TAKE
	RSTACK	
?CCL20:	ICALL	PERFORM,V?TAKE,PRSO
	RTRUE	
?CCL15:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?MOVE \?CCL24
	CALL1	V-WALK-AROUND
	RSTACK	
?CCL24:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SEARCH \?CCL26
	ICALL1	V-INVENTORY
	RTRUE	
?CCL26:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?MUNG,V?KILL /?CTR27
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOOT \?CCL28
	EQUAL?	PRSI,BLASTER \?CCL28
?CTR27:	ICALL2	JIGS-UP,STR?169
	RTRUE	
?CCL28:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?FIND \?CCL34
	PRINTR	"You're right here!"
?CCL34:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WHO \?CCL38
	PRINTI	"You are "
	PRINTD	IDENTITY-FLAG
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL38:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL42
	EQUAL?	HERE,MAZE \?CCL42
	PRINTR	"You look perfectly normal (except that you're two microns tall)."
?CCL42:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?PULL-TOGETHER \?CCL48
	PRINT	ZEN
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL48:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?FOLLOW \FALSE
	PRINTR	"I'd like to, but like most computers I don't have legs."


	.FUNCT	GLOBAL-ROOM-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?EXAMINE,V?LOOK \?CCL3
	ICALL1	V-LOOK
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK-TO,V?THROUGH \?CCL5
	CALL1	V-WALK-AROUND
	RSTACK	
?CCL5:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXIT,V?LEAVE \?CCL7
	CALL2	DO-WALK,P?OUT
	RSTACK	
?CCL7:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK-AROUND \?CCL9
	EQUAL?	HERE,CAPTAINS-QUARTERS \?PRG13
	CALL1	V-STAND
	RSTACK	
?PRG13:	PRINTR	"Walking around the room reveals nothing new. To move elsewhere, just type the desired direction."
?CCL9:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LAMP-ON \FALSE
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?LAMP-ON,LIGHT
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	OBJECT-OF-GAME-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WHAT \FALSE
	PRINTR	"That's for me to know and you to find out."


	.FUNCT	CONTROLS-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,SPEEDBOAT \?CCL6
	PRINTI	"The only control, other than those related to steering the boat, is the large red "
	PRINTD	AUTOPILOT-BUTTON
	PRINTC	46
	ICALL1	FINE-PRODUCT
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL6:	EQUAL?	HERE,BRIDGE \FALSE
	PRINTI	"Most of the controls are beyond your comprehension. "
	IN?	LARGE-RECEPTACLE,HERE \?PRG23
	PRINTI	"The simplest one is a "
	PRINTD	LARGE-RECEPTACLE
	PRINTI	" of some kind."
	ZERO?	DRIVE-TO-CONTROLS /?CCL20
	PRINTC	32
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?EXAMINE,LARGE-RECEPTACLE
	RTRUE	
?CCL20:	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?PRG23:	PRINTR	"A fused spot shows where a receptacle once was."


	.FUNCT	CONVERSATION-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LISTEN \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,FRONT-OF-HOUSE \?CCL6
	PRINTR	"You can't hear anything from here."
?CCL6:	ICALL	PERFORM,V?LISTEN,VLHURG
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	GUARDS-F
	EQUAL?	GUARDS,WINNER \?CCL3
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?CCL6
	EQUAL?	PRSO,ME \?CCL6
	SET	'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?ASK-ABOUT,GUARDS,PRSI
	SET	'WINNER,GUARDS
	RTRUE	
?CCL6:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?HELLO \?CCL10
	SET	'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?HELLO,GUARDS
	SET	'WINNER,GUARDS
	RTRUE	
?CCL10:	EQUAL?	HERE,DAIS \?CCL12
	IN?	RIFLES,GUARDS \?PRD17
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOOT \?PRD17
	ZERO?	DONT-FLAG \?CTR14
?PRD17:	IN?	RIFLES,GUARDS \?CCL15
	ZERO?	DONT-FLAG \?CCL15
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DROP \?CCL15
	EQUAL?	PRSO,RIFLES \?CCL15
?CTR14:	FCLEAR	RIFLES,NDESCBIT
	CALL	QUEUE,I-GUARDS,8
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	MOVE	RIFLES,HERE
	FSET	RIFLES,TAKEBIT
	FSET	RIFLES,TRYTAKEBIT
	PRINTR	"The guards hesitate, then toss their photon rifles into a pile in front of you."
?CCL15:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOOT \?CCL28
	IN?	RIFLES,GUARDS \?PRG32
	CALL2	JIGS-UP,STR?170
	RSTACK	
?PRG32:	PRINTR	"Someone around here is being very stupid. Let's say it's the guards, since they're only fictitious characters and therefore not potential Infocom customers. The poor fictitious saps don't understand how they can shoot without rifles."
?CCL28:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \?CCL35
	EQUAL?	PRSO,RIFLES \?CCL35
	IN?	RIFLES,GUARDS \?CCL40
	PRINTR	"""We already have them!"""
?CCL40:	MOVE	RIFLES,GUARDS
	CALL	QUEUE,I-GUARDS,5
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	PRINTR	"They do so."
?CCL35:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LEAVE \?PRG49
	PRINTR	"""We can't leave while you're in trouble, Mr. President!"""
?PRG49:	PRINTI	"You have failed to issue one of the small set of commands that the guards' military intelligences are trained to understand."
	CRLF	
	CALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	RSTACK	
?CCL12:	CALL	HELD?,BABEL-FISH,PROTAGONIST
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG56
	PRINTI	"""Resistance is useless!"""
	CRLF	
	JUMP	?CND51
?PRG56:	PRINTI	"""I"
	ICALL2	PRODUCE-GIBBERISH,1
	CRLF	
?CND51:	CALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	RSTACK	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	HERE,CAPTAINS-QUARTERS \?CCL59
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?THANK,V?HELLO,V?TELL \?CCL59
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?TELL,VOGON-CAPTAIN
	RTRUE	
?CCL59:	EQUAL?	HERE,CAPTAINS-QUARTERS \?CCL63
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ASK-FOR,V?ASK-ABOUT \?CCL63
	EQUAL?	GUARDS,PRSO \?CCL63
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?TELL,VOGON-CAPTAIN
	RTRUE	
?CCL63:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL68
	IN?	RIFLES,GUARDS \?CCL68
	PRINTR	"They're holding their photon rifles."
?CCL68:	EQUAL?	HERE,DAIS \?CCL74
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOOT \?CCL74
	CALL1	BLASTER-HOLD
	ZERO?	STACK \TRUE
	PRINT	GUARDS-REALIZE
	ICALL2	JIGS-UP,STR?171
	RTRUE	
?CCL74:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?GIVE \?CCL82
	EQUAL?	PRSO,BLASTER \?CCL82
	PRINTI	"The guards are more than glad to disarm you. They"
	ICALL1	GUARD-DEATH
	RTRUE	
?CCL82:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?COUNT \FALSE
	EQUAL?	HERE,HOLD \?CCL91
	PRINTR	"One."
?CCL91:	EQUAL?	HERE,CAPTAINS-QUARTERS \?PRG98
	PRINTR	"Several."
?PRG98:	PRINTR	"Many."


	.FUNCT	WEAPON-PSEUDO
	IN?	GUARDS,HERE /?CCL3
	PRINTR	"What weapon?"
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOOT \FALSE
	PRINT	NOT-HOLDING
	PRINTR	" it."


	.FUNCT	FRUSTRATION-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ENJOY \FALSE
	PRINT	ZEN
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	UNIMPORTANT-THING-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ASK-ABOUT \?PRG6
	EQUAL?	PRSO,GUIDE /FALSE
?PRG6:	PRINTR	"That's not important; leave it alone."


	.FUNCT	DONT-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?PANIC \?CCL3
	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	50,STACK /?PRG9
	PRINTR	"Very clever. It looks like there's a lot you should be panicking about."
?PRG9:	PRINTR	"Why not? Your position appears quite hopeless."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK \?CCL12
	SET	'DONT-FLAG,FALSE-VALUE
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?CLOSE,EYES
	RTRUE	
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WAIT \?CCL14
	PRINTR	"Time doesn't pass..."
?CCL14:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \?CCL18
	PRINTR	"Not taken."
?CCL18:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LISTEN \?PRG25
	CALL2	VISIBLE?,POETRY
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG25
	SET	'DONT-FLAG,FALSE-VALUE
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?LISTEN,POETRY
	RTRUE	
?PRG25:	PRINTR	"Not done."


	.FUNCT	DARK-F,RARG
	EQUAL?	RARG,M-ENTER \?CCL3
	PUTP	PROTAGONIST,P?ACTION,DARK-FUNCTION
	ICALL	ROB,PROTAGONIST,DARK-OBJECT
	FSET	CONVERSATION,INVISIBLE
	SET	'DREAMING,FALSE-VALUE
	SET	'LYING-DOWN,FALSE-VALUE
?PRG4:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	HEART-PROB,STACK /?CCL8
	SET	'HEART-PROB,0
	SET	'VOGON-PROB,10
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,ENTRY-BAY
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,3
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL8:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	VOGON-PROB,STACK /?CCL10
	SET	'VOGON-PROB,0
	SET	'HEART-PROB,100
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,HOLD
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,0
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL10:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	TRAAL-PROB,STACK /?CCL12
	EQUAL?	TRAAL-PROB,10 /?CND13
	SET	'TRAAL-PROB,10
	SET	'TRILLIAN-PROB,25
	SET	'FORD-PROB,25
	SET	'ZAPHOD-PROB,25
?CND13:	SET	'DARK-FLAG,LAIR
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,4
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL12:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	TRILLIAN-PROB,STACK /?CCL16
	SET	'TRILLIAN-PROB,10
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,2
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL16:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	FORD-PROB,STACK /?CCL18
	SET	'FORD-PROB,10
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,1
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL18:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	ZAPHOD-PROB,STACK /?CCL20
	SET	'ZAPHOD-PROB,10
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,SPEEDBOAT
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,5
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL20:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	FLEET-PROB,STACK /?CCL22
	SET	'FLEET-PROB,10
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,7
	JUMP	?CND6
?CCL22:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	WHALE-PROB,STACK /?CND6
	PRINTI	"Bug #60"
	CRLF	
	SET	'DARK-FLAG,INSIDE-WHALE
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,6
?CND6:	ZERO?	DARK-FLAG /?PRG4
	RFALSE	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	RARG,M-LOOK /TRUE
	RFALSE	


	.FUNCT	DARK-FUNCTION
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?RESTORE,V?RESTART,V?QUIT /FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SAVE,V?VERSION,V?SCORE /FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?BRIEF,V?VERBOSE,V?HINTS /FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?UNSCRIPT,V?SCRIPT,V?SUPERBRIEF /FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?FOOTNOTE /FALSE
	ZERO?	DONT-FLAG \FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?YELL,V?PANIC \?CCL12
	PRINTR	"You yell as loudly as you can, but no sound emerges."
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?RELAX /?PRG21
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ENJOY \?CCL16
	EQUAL?	PRSO,DARK-OBJECT \?CCL16
?PRG21:	PRINTR	"You achieve a state of Negative Capability, and are able to be in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable searching after fact and reason (Footnote 1)."
?CCL16:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,ENTRY-BAY,WAR-CHAMBER \?CCL24
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LISTEN \?CCL24
	EQUAL?	PRSO,DARK-OBJECT \?CCL24
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?CCL24
	MOVE	STAR-DRIVE,HERE
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,STAR-DRIVE
	PRINTI	"You hear the deep and distant hum of a "
	PRINTD	STAR-DRIVE
	PRINTI	" coming from far "
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,ENTRY-BAY \?PRG36
	PRINTI	"above"
	JUMP	?PRG38
?PRG36:	PRINTI	"below"
?PRG38:	PRINTR	". There is an exit to port."
?CCL24:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK \?CCL41
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?CCL41
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER,ENTRY-BAY \?CCL41
	IN?	STAR-DRIVE,HERE \?CCL41
	EQUAL?	PRSO,P?SOUTH \?PRG55
	LESS?	LYING-COUNTER,4 \?PRG53
	PRINT	LYING-ABOUT-EXIT
?PRG53:	PRINTI	"You emerge from a small doorway..."
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?PRG55:	PRINT	CANT-GO
	EQUAL?	PRSO,P?WEST \?CND57
	INC	'LYING-COUNTER
	EQUAL?	LYING-COUNTER,4 \?CND57
	PRINTC	32
	PRINT	LYING-ABOUT-EXIT
	PRINTR	"There is an exit aft..."
?CND57:	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL41:	EQUAL?	PRSO,STAR-DRIVE /?PRD66
	EQUAL?	PRSI,STAR-DRIVE \?CCL64
?PRD66:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK /?CCL64
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,ENTRY-BAY,WAR-CHAMBER /?CCL71
	CALL2	CANT-SEE,STAR-DRIVE
	RSTACK	
?CCL71:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LISTEN \FALSE
	PRINTI	"The sound comes from far "
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,ENTRY-BAY \?PRG81
	PRINTI	"above"
	JUMP	?PRG83
?PRG81:	PRINTI	"below"
?PRG83:	PRINTR	"."
?CCL64:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE,SPEEDBOAT \?CCL86
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL86
	EQUAL?	PRSO,DARK-OBJECT \?CCL86
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?CCL86
	MOVE	PAINFUL-LIGHT,HERE
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,PAINFUL-LIGHT
	PRINTI	"You see a painfully bright light that stabs at the "
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE \?PRG98
	PRINTI	"front"
	JUMP	?PRG100
?PRG98:	PRINTI	"back"
?PRG100:	PRINTR	" of your eyes."
?CCL86:	EQUAL?	PRSO,PAINFUL-LIGHT /?PRD105
	EQUAL?	PRSI,PAINFUL-LIGHT \?CCL103
?PRD105:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK /?CCL103
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,SPEEDBOAT,COUNTRY-LANE /?CCL110
	CALL2	CANT-SEE,PAINFUL-LIGHT
	RSTACK	
?CCL110:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	PRINTI	"The light resolves itself into the bright "
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE \?PRG120
	PRINTI	"yellow Sun of Earth"
	JUMP	?PRG122
?PRG120:	PRINTI	"orange Sun of "
	PRINTD	DAMOGRAN
?PRG122:	PRINTC	46
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL103:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM,INSIDE-WHALE \?CCL125
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?RUB \?CCL125
	EQUAL?	PRSO,DARK-OBJECT \?CCL125
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?CCL125
	MOVE	LIQUID,HERE
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,LIQUID
	PRINTI	"It does feel a bit "
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM \?PRG137
	PRINTI	"cold"
	JUMP	?PRG139
?PRG137:	PRINTI	"warm"
?PRG139:	PRINTR	" and wet and squishy. There seems to be some liquid at your fingertips."
?CCL125:	EQUAL?	PRSO,LIQUID /?PRD144
	EQUAL?	PRSI,LIQUID \?CCL142
?PRD144:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK /?CCL142
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM,INSIDE-WHALE /?CCL149
	CALL2	CANT-SEE,LIQUID
	RSTACK	
?CCL149:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM \?CCL151
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?RUB,V?EXAMINE \?CCL154
	PRINTR	"It seems coldish."
?CCL154:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DRINK,V?TASTE \FALSE
	PRINTI	"It tastes just like wine. In fact, you realise with growing embarrassment that "
	PRINTD	HANDS
	PRINTI	" is sitting in a "
	PRINTD	WINE
	PRINTC	46
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL151:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,INSIDE-WHALE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?RUB,V?EXAMINE \?CCL165
	PRINTR	"It seems warmish."
?CCL165:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DRINK,V?TASTE \FALSE
	PRINTI	"Yucchhh! You are jerked to your senses by the realisation that you are licking the lining of a whale's stomach."
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL142:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD,LAIR \?CCL173
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SMELL \?CCL173
	EQUAL?	PRSO,DARK-OBJECT \?CCL173
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?CCL173
	MOVE	SHADOW,HERE
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,SHADOW
	PRINTI	"It does smell a bit. There's something pungent "
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD \?PRG185
	PRINTI	"being waved"
	JUMP	?PRG187
?PRG185:	PRINTI	"waving"
?PRG187:	PRINTR	" under your nose. Your head begins to clear. You can make out a shadow moving in the dark."
?CCL173:	EQUAL?	PRSO,SHADOW /?PRD192
	EQUAL?	PRSI,SHADOW \?CCL190
?PRD192:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?WALK /?CCL190
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD,LAIR /?CCL197
	CALL2	CANT-SEE,SHADOW
	RSTACK	
?CCL197:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL199
	PRINTI	"The shadow is vaguely "
	ICALL1	BEAST-GUARD-FORD
	PRINTI	"-shaped."
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL199:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?RUB \?CCL205
	PRINTI	"The shadow turns out to be a solid object of a "
	ICALL1	BEAST-GUARD-FORD
	PRINTI	"-like nature."
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL205:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SMELL \FALSE
	PRINTI	"The shadow has a sort of "
	ICALL1	BEAST-GUARD-FORD
	PRINTI	"y smell to it."
	CALL1	LEAVE-DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL190:	INC	'DARK-COUNTER
	ZERO?	DARK-CONTROLLED /?CND216
	INC	'CURRENT-EXIT
	EQUAL?	CURRENT-EXIT,8 \?CND218
	SET	'CURRENT-EXIT,0
?CND218:	GET	DARK-EXIT-TABLE,CURRENT-EXIT >DARK-FLAG
?CND216:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK \?CND220
	PRINTI	"Dark"
	CRLF	
?CND220:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	25,STACK /?CCL226
	ICALL1	DARK-ONE
	ICALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	JUMP	?CND224
?CCL226:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	33,STACK /?CCL228
	ICALL1	DARK-TWO
	ICALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	JUMP	?CND224
?CCL228:	RANDOM	100
	LESS?	50,STACK /?CCL230
	ICALL1	DARK-THREE
	ICALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	JUMP	?CND224
?CCL230:	ICALL1	DARK-FOUR
	ICALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
?CND224:	EQUAL?	DARK-COUNTER,18 \?CCL233
	CRLF	
	PRINTR	"When will you come to your senses and solve this puzzle?"
?CCL233:	EQUAL?	DARK-COUNTER,33 \?CCL237
	CRLF	
	PRINTR	"4 out of 5 sensitive people solve this puzzle right away."
?CCL237:	EQUAL?	DARK-COUNTER,48 \?CCL241
	CRLF	
	PRINTR	"Don't count your senses before they hatch."
?CCL241:	EQUAL?	DARK-COUNTER,63 \TRUE
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD \TRUE
	CRLF	
	PRINTR	"Something stinks around here, and I'm not just talking about your puzzle-solving ability!"


	.FUNCT	LEAVE-DARK
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	PUTP	PROTAGONIST,P?ACTION,PROTAGONIST-F
	SET	'DARK-COUNTER,0
	SET	'LYING-COUNTER,0
	SET	'DARK-CONTROLLED,FALSE-VALUE
	ICALL	ROB,DARK-OBJECT,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL	ROB,MEMORIAL,PROTAGONIST
	MOVE	SHADOW,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	MOVE	PAINFUL-LIGHT,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	MOVE	LIQUID,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	MOVE	STAR-DRIVE,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	ZERO?	FLUFF-TO-GOWN /?CND1
	MOVE	SATCHEL-FLUFF,GOWN
	SET	'FLUFF-TO-GOWN,FALSE-VALUE
?CND1:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER \?CCL5
	FSET?	WAR-CHAMBER,REVISITBIT \?CCL5
	CALL	QUEUE,I-BRAIN-DEATH,6
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	CALL2	META-LOC,SPARE-DRIVE >HERE
	MOVE	PROTAGONIST,HERE
	MOVE	NAME,HERE
	SET	'OHERE,FALSE-VALUE
	SET	'GUTS-ROOM,HERE
	PRINTI	"There is a violent explosion around you, leaving you standing in"
	ICALL	ARTICLE,HERE,TRUE-VALUE
	PRINTI	". "
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?EXAMINE,GROUND
	CRLF	
	PRINTI	"Apparently, you just materialised inside your own brain. This is very very very nasty. You have two choices: quit now, or experience this materialisation from the other end, in about five turns."
	CRLF	
	JUMP	?CND3
?CCL5:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,SPEEDBOAT \?CCL15
	FSET?	SPEEDBOAT,REVISITBIT \?CCL15
	ICALL2	GOTO,DAIS
	JUMP	?CND3
?CCL15:	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,ENTRY-BAY /?CND18
	MOVE	MAIN-DRIVE,LOCAL-GLOBALS
?CND18:	ICALL2	GOTO,DARK-FLAG
?CND3:	SET	'DARK-FLAG,FALSE-VALUE
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	MISSING?
	ZERO?	DARK-CONTROLLED \TRUE
	GRTR?	DARK-COUNTER,3 /TRUE
	RFALSE	


	.FUNCT	DARK-ONE
	PRINTI	"You can "
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG7
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER,ENTRY-BAY /?CND3
?PRG7:	PRINTI	"hear nothing, "
?CND3:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG13
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD,LAIR /?PRG15
?PRG13:	PRINTI	"smell nothing, "
?PRG15:	PRINTI	"taste nothing, "
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG21
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE,SPEEDBOAT /?CND17
?PRG21:	PRINTI	"see nothing, "
?CND17:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG27
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM,INSIDE-WHALE /?PRG29
?PRG27:	PRINTI	"feel nothing, "
?PRG29:	PRINTR	"and are not even certain who you are."


	.FUNCT	DARK-TWO
	PRINTI	"You can "
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG7
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE,SPEEDBOAT /?CND3
?PRG7:	PRINTI	"see nothing, "
?CND3:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG13
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM,INSIDE-WHALE /?CND9
?PRG13:	PRINTI	"feel nothing, "
?CND9:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG19
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER,ENTRY-BAY /?PRG21
?PRG19:	PRINTI	"hear nothing, "
?PRG21:	PRINTI	"taste nothing, "
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG27
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD,LAIR /?PRG29
?PRG27:	PRINTI	"smell nothing, "
?PRG29:	PRINTR	"and are not entirely certain who you are."


	.FUNCT	DARK-THREE
	PRINTI	"You can't "
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG7
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER,ENTRY-BAY /?CND3
?PRG7:	PRINTI	"hear anything, "
?CND3:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG13
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE,SPEEDBOAT /?CND9
?PRG13:	PRINTI	"see anything, "
?CND9:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG19
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD,LAIR /?CND15
?PRG19:	PRINTI	"smell anything, "
?CND15:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG25
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM,INSIDE-WHALE /?PRG27
?PRG25:	PRINTI	"feel anything, "
?PRG27:	PRINTR	"or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there."


	.FUNCT	DARK-FOUR
	PRINTI	"There's nothing you can taste, "
	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG7
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,COUNTRY-LANE,SPEEDBOAT /?CND3
?PRG7:	PRINTI	"nothing you can see, "
?CND3:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG13
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,WAR-CHAMBER,ENTRY-BAY /?CND9
?PRG13:	PRINTI	"nothing you can hear, "
?CND9:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG19
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LIVING-ROOM,INSIDE-WHALE /?CND15
?PRG19:	PRINTI	"nothing you can feel, "
?CND15:	CALL1	MISSING?
	ZERO?	STACK /?PRG25
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,HOLD,LAIR /?PRG27
?PRG25:	PRINTI	"nothing you can smell, "
?PRG27:	PRINTR	"you do not even know who you are."


	.FUNCT	BEAST-GUARD-FORD
	EQUAL?	DARK-FLAG,LAIR \?CCL3
	PRINTI	"Bugblatter Beast"
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	FSET?	HOLD,REVISITBIT \?PRG10
	PRINTI	"guard"
	RTRUE	
?PRG10:	PRINTD	FORD
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	I-BRAIN-DEATH
	CRLF	
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ARTHUR
	ICALL2	JIGS-UP,STR?172
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	TOOTHBRUSH-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \FALSE
	FSET?	TOOTHBRUSH,TOUCHBIT /FALSE
	MOVE	TOOTHBRUSH,PROTAGONIST
	FSET	TOOTHBRUSH,TOUCHBIT
	FCLEAR	TOOTHBRUSH,TRYTAKEBIT
	PRINTI	"As you pick up the "
	PRINTD	TOOTHBRUSH
	PRINTI	" a tree outside the window collapses. There is no causal relationship between these two events."
	FSET?	PHONE,TOUCHBIT \?CND8
	ICALL1	TWO-TREES
?CND8:	CRLF	
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	LIQUID-SPILL
	EQUAL?	PRSI,PLANT,FLOWERPOT \?CCL3
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?WATER,PRSI,PRSO
	RTRUE	
?CCL3:	MOVE	PRSO,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	EQUAL?	PRSO,BROWNIAN-SOURCE \?CCL6
	SET	'BROWNIAN-SOURCE,FALSE-VALUE
	JUMP	?PRG8
?CCL6:	EQUAL?	PRSO,PANEL-BLOCKER \?PRG8
	SET	'PANEL-BLOCKER,FALSE-VALUE
?PRG8:	PRINTI	"It spills all over and then evaporates."
	EQUAL?	PRSO,MINERAL-WATER \?CCL12
	ICALL2	ANTI-LITTER,STR?173
	JUMP	?CND10
?CCL12:	ICALL2	ANTI-LITTER,STR?10
?CND10:	CRLF	
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	ANTI-LITTER,STRING
	PRINTI	" The "
	PRINT	STRING
	PRINTI	" itself vaporises, part of the Galactic Anti-Litter Program."
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	TEA-DESCFCN,X
	CALL2	DESCRIBE-DRINK,TEA
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	DESCRIBE-DRINK,DRINK
	PRINTI	"There is a nice, hot cup of "
	PRINTD	DRINK
	PRINTR	" here."


	.FUNCT	TEA-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \?CCL3
	EQUAL?	PRSO,TEA \?CCL3
	MOVE	TEA,PROTAGONIST
	SET	'HOLDING-NO-TEA,FALSE-VALUE
	PRINTR	"no tea: Dropped."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DROP \?CCL9
	MOVE	TEA,HERE
	EQUAL?	HERE,ACCESS-SPACE \?CCL12
	SET	'HOLDING-NO-TEA,TRUE-VALUE
	CALL1	V-DROP
	RSTACK	
?CCL12:	ZERO?	HOLDING-NO-TEA /?CCL14
	PRINTR	"Dropped."
?CCL14:	SET	'HOLDING-NO-TEA,TRUE-VALUE
	PRINTR	"no tea: Taken."
?CCL9:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DRINK-FROM,V?ENJOY,V?DRINK \?CCL20
	CALL2	HELD?,PRSO
	ZERO?	STACK \?CND21
	PRINT	NOT-HOLDING
	PRINTR	" the cup!"
?CND21:	ADD	SCORE,100 >SCORE
	MOVE	TEA,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	SET	'HOLDING-NO-TEA,TRUE-VALUE
	EQUAL?	TEA,BROWNIAN-SOURCE \?PRG27
	SET	'BROWNIAN-SOURCE,FALSE-VALUE
?PRG27:	PRINTI	"It is the finest tea you have ever tasted. It has almost made this entire misadventure seem worthwhile. You experience several moments of complete happiness and relaxation."
	ICALL2	ANTI-LITTER,STR?10
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL20:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?THROW,V?POUR \?CCL30
	CALL1	LIQUID-SPILL
	RSTACK	
?CCL30:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?EXAMINE \FALSE
	PRINT	IT-LOOKS-LIKE
	PRINTI	" it has even more"
	PRINT	BROWNIAN
	PRINTI	" than "
	PRINTD	SUBSTITUTE
	PRINTC	33
	EQUAL?	PRSO,BROWNIAN-SOURCE \?CCL37
	PRINTC	32
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?EXAMINE,DANGLY-BIT
	RTRUE	
?CCL37:	CRLF	
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	NO-TEA-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DROP,V?PICK-UP,V?TAKE \?CCL3
	EQUAL?	PRSO,NO-TEA \?CCL3
	FSET?	PARTICLE,MUNGEDBIT /?CCL3
	PRINTR	"Your common sense tells you that you can't do that."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?PICK-UP,V?TAKE \?CCL10
	EQUAL?	PRSO,NO-TEA \?CCL10
	ZERO?	HOLDING-NO-TEA \?CCL10
	SET	'HOLDING-NO-TEA,TRUE-VALUE
	PRINTR	"no tea: Taken."
?CCL10:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?GIVE,V?SHOW \?CCL17
	EQUAL?	PRSI,SCREENING-DOOR /FALSE
?CCL17:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ASK-ABOUT \?CCL21
	EQUAL?	PRSO,GUIDE /FALSE
?CCL21:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ASK-FOR \?PRG28
	EQUAL?	PRSO,NUTRIMAT \?PRG28
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?RUB,PAD
	RTRUE	
?PRG28:	PRINTR	"You're talking complete nonsense; pull yourself together."


	.FUNCT	TEA-PRINT,OBJ
	EQUAL?	OBJ,TEA,NO-TEA \TRUE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOW /TRUE
	EQUAL?	OBJ,TEA \?CCL7
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \?CCL10
	CALL2	HELD?,TEA
	ZERO?	STACK \TRUE
	ZERO?	PRSI /FALSE
	LOC	PRSO
	EQUAL?	PRSI,STACK /FALSE
	RTRUE	
?CCL10:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?DROP \FALSE
	ZERO?	HOLDING-NO-TEA /FALSE
	RFALSE	
?CCL7:	EQUAL?	OBJ,NO-TEA \TRUE
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \TRUE
	ZERO?	HOLDING-NO-TEA \TRUE
	RFALSE	


	.FUNCT	THUMB-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL3
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	THUMB
	PRINTI	" is shaped like a small fist with an extended thumb. Various lights along its ""knuckles"" are currently "
	IN?	FLEET,HERE /?PRG11
	EQUAL?	HERE,AIRLOCK,INSIDE-WHALE \?PRG13
?PRG11:	PRINTI	"blinking wildly, indicating a spaceship in the vicinity"
	JUMP	?PRG15
?PRG13:	PRINTI	"dark"
?PRG15:	PRINTI	". It has two small buttons, a red one labelled ""Call Engineer"" and a green one labelled ""Hitchhike."""
	ICALL1	FINE-PRODUCT
	PRINTI	" Affixed to the Thumb is a lifetime "
	PRINTD	GUARANTEE
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TAKE \?CCL20
	EQUAL?	IDENTITY-FLAG,FORD \?CCL20
	IN?	FLEET,HERE \?CCL20
	IN?	THUMB,SATCHEL /?CCL20
	PRINT	DRIVEN-BACK
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL20:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?LOOK-INSIDE,V?CLOSE,V?OPEN \FALSE
	PRINTR	"Impossible."


	.FUNCT	RED-BUTTON-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?PUSH \FALSE
	CALL2	HELD?,THUMB
	ZERO?	STACK \?CCL6
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?PUSH,GREEN-BUTTON
	RTRUE	
?CCL6:	IN?	ENGINEER,HERE \?CCL8
	PRINTI	"Another "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTR	" zips up, spots the first one, looks confused, and leaves again."
?CCL8:	MOVE	ENGINEER,HERE
	MOVE	BIKE,HERE
	CALL	QUEUE,I-ENGINEER,2
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	PRINTI	"With a screech of ion brakes a "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTR	" Repair Robot pulls up on a bike from out of the Sub-Etha."


	.FUNCT	GREEN-BUTTON-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?PUSH \FALSE
	CALL2	HELD?,THUMB
	ZERO?	STACK \?CCL6
	PRINT	NOT-HOLDING
	PRINTI	" the "
	PRINTD	THUMB
	PRINTC	46
	CRLF	
	SET	'P-IT-OBJECT,THUMB
	RETURN	P-IT-OBJECT
?CCL6:	EQUAL?	IDENTITY-FLAG,FORD \?CCL10
	IN?	FLEET,HERE \?CCL10
	MOVE	THUMB,HERE
	PRINT	THUMB-FUMBLE
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL10:	FSET?	THUMB,MUNGEDBIT \?CCL16
	PRINTI	"The"
	PRINT	THUMB-CLICKS
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL16:	IN?	FLEET,HERE \?CCL20
	EQUAL?	DRUNK-LEVEL,3 \?PRG26
	PRINTI	"Lights whirl sickeningly around your head, the ground arches away beneath your feet, and every atom of your being is scrambled, an experience you're probably going to have to get used to. You are in..."
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	ICALL1	LEAVE-EARTH
	CALL2	GOTO,DARK
	RSTACK	
?PRG26:	PRINTC	65
	PRINT	BEAM
	ICALL2	JIGS-UP,STR?174
	RTRUE	
?CCL20:	EQUAL?	HERE,AIRLOCK,INSIDE-WHALE \?CCL29
	PRINTI	"Every molecule in your body gets pulled away from every other molecule. Then suddenly they snap back together again like elastic, and you find, with a dizzy head and very sore molecules, that you are in..."
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	SET	'HEART-PROB,100
	CALL2	GOTO,DARK
	RSTACK	
?CCL29:	FSET	THUMB,MUNGEDBIT
	PRINTR	"The Thumb winks and flashes for a second. Nothing further happens."


	.FUNCT	GUARANTEE-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE,V?READ \FALSE
	PRINTI	"The lifetime "
	PRINTD	GUARANTEE
	PRINTI	" states that the Thumb will be repaired on site by trained "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTR	" Field Engineers."


	.FUNCT	ENGINEER-F
	EQUAL?	ENGINEER,WINNER \?CCL3
	CALL	QUEUE,I-ENGINEER,2
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?TELL-ABOUT \?CCL6
	EQUAL?	PRSO,ME \?CCL6
	SET	'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?ASK-ABOUT,ENGINEER,PRSI
	SET	'WINNER,ENGINEER
	RTRUE	
?CCL6:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?HELLO \?CCL10
	SET	'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?HELLO,ENGINEER
	SET	'WINNER,ENGINEER
	RTRUE	
?CCL10:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?REPAIR \?CCL12
	EQUAL?	PRSO,THUMB \?CCL12
	IN?	THUMB,ENGINEER \?CND15
	PRINTR	"""I'm doing my best..."""
?CND15:	SET	'WINNER,PROTAGONIST
	MOVE	THUMB,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?GIVE,THUMB,ENGINEER
	SET	'WINNER,ENGINEER
	RTRUE	
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?REPAIR \?CCL20
	PRINTI	"""I repair only "
	PRINTD	THUMB
	PRINTR	"s!"""
?CCL20:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?YES \?CCL24
	EQUAL?	AWAITING-REPLY,12 \?CCL24
	CALL1	V-YES
	RSTACK	
?CCL24:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?NO \?PRG31
	EQUAL?	AWAITING-REPLY,12 \?PRG31
	CALL1	V-NO
	RSTACK	
?PRG31:	PRINTI	"""Can't chat, pal, I'm attending to an important repair call."""
	CRLF	
	CALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	RSTACK	
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOW,V?GIVE \?CCL34
	EQUAL?	PRSO,THUMB \?CCL34
	FSET?	THUMB,MUNGEDBIT \?CCL39
	CALL	QUEUE,I-ENGINEER,2
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	SET	'THUMB-SHOWN,1
	MOVE	THUMB,ENGINEER
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTI	" takes it, looks at it with horror, shakes his head, sighs, and says, ""Who sold you this then?"""
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	PRINTC	62
	PUTB	P-INBUF,1,0
	READ	P-INBUF,P-LEXV
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTR	" ignores your reply and shakes the Thumb despondently. ""This is a model 13X,"" he says. ""Not meant for this sort of job. Anyway, it's discontinued. Can't get the parts."""
?CCL39:	MOVE	THUMB,PROTAGONIST
	ICALL1	ENGINEER-LEAVE
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTI	" takes the Thumb, shakes it, looks it up and down. ""Seems to be working OK to me. Unusual for a 13X."" He hands it back and"
	PRINT	ROARS-OFF
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL34:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?SHOW,V?GIVE \FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSO,GUARANTEE \FALSE
	FSET?	THUMB,MUNGEDBIT /?CND50
	ICALL	PERFORM,V?GIVE,THUMB,ENGINEER
	RTRUE	
?CND50:	FCLEAR	THUMB,MUNGEDBIT
	ICALL1	ENGINEER-LEAVE
	MOVE	THUMB,PROTAGONIST
	ZERO?	THUMB-SHOWN \?CCL54
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTI	" looks quizzically at the "
	PRINTD	GUARANTEE
	PRINTI	" and says it's expired but he'll see what he can do. "
	PRINT	FIDDLES
	PRINTI	"""Can't promise anything."" He"
	PRINT	ROARS-OFF
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL54:	SET	'THUMB-SHOWN,0
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTI	" looks at it sceptically. ""Guaranteed to work normally for life,"" he mutters. ""Well, it's perfectly normal for a 13X to break down. And this one's reached the end of its life anyway. But I'll see what I can do."""
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	PRINT	FIDDLES
	PRINTI	"""Best I can do for a 13X on an expired "
	PRINTD	GUARANTEE
	PRINTI	","" he says. ""Can't promise anything."" He"
	PRINT	ROARS-OFF
	PRINTR	"."


	.FUNCT	ENGINEER-LEAVE
	IN?	THUMB,ENGINEER \?CND1
	IN?	ENGINEER,HERE \?CCL5
	MOVE	THUMB,PROTAGONIST
	JUMP	?CND1
?CCL5:	LOC	ENGINEER
	MOVE	THUMB,STACK
?CND1:	MOVE	ENGINEER,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	MOVE	BIKE,LOCAL-GLOBALS
	CALL2	INT,I-ENGINEER
	PUT	STACK,0,0
	SET	'THUMB-SHOWN,0
	SET	'ENGINEER-COUNTER,0
	RETURN	ENGINEER-COUNTER


	.FUNCT	I-ENGINEER
	CALL	QUEUE,I-ENGINEER,-1
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	INC	'ENGINEER-COUNTER
	IN?	ENGINEER,HERE /?CND1
	ICALL1	ENGINEER-LEAVE
	RFALSE	
?CND1:	CRLF	
	EQUAL?	THUMB-SHOWN,1 \?CCL5
	SET	'THUMB-SHOWN,2
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTR	" ignores you completely. ""See, this is the model with the 5kz booster,"" he says. ""Hopeless."" He shakes his head grimly."
?CCL5:	EQUAL?	THUMB-SHOWN,2 \?CCL9
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTI	" ignores you. ""What you want, you see, is one of the new Mk7's. Only you can't get them. Out of stock till Zarkmas. Sorry."" He"
	IN?	THUMB,ENGINEER \?CND12
	PRINTI	" gives the defunct Thumb back and"
?CND12:	ICALL1	ENGINEER-LEAVE
	PRINT	ROARS-OFF
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL9:	EQUAL?	ENGINEER-COUNTER,1 \?CCL19
	SET	'AWAITING-REPLY,12
	CALL	QUEUE,I-REPLY,2
	PUT	STACK,0,1
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTR	" looks around. ""Somebody call the repair service?"""
?CCL19:	EQUAL?	ENGINEER-COUNTER,2 \?CCL23
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTR	" looks impatient and guns the throttle of his cycle."
?CCL23:	ICALL1	ENGINEER-LEAVE
	PRINTI	"""Probably a kid playing around with someone else's Thumb,"" grumbles the "
	PRINTD	ENGINEER
	PRINTI	" and"
	PRINT	ROARS-OFF
	PRINTR	"."


	.FUNCT	GUIDE-DESCFCN,X
	PRINTI	"There is a copy of "
	PRINT	GUIDE-NAME
	PRINTR	" here."


	.FUNCT	GUIDE-F
	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?EXAMINE \?CCL3
	PRINTR	"The Guide is a Mark II model. Its only resemblance to the Mark IV pictured in the brochure in your game package is the large, friendly ""Don't Panic!"" on its cover.

The Guide is a Sub-Etha Relay. You can use it to tap information from a huge and distant data bank by consulting the Guide about some item or subject."
?CCL3:	EQUAL?	PRSA,V?ASK-ABOUT \FALSE
	EQUAL?	PRSO,GUIDE \FALSE
	FSET?	TOWEL,WORNBIT \?CCL12
	PRINT	WITH-TOWEL
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL12:	EQUAL?	PRSI,ACCESS-SPACE \?PRG18
	PRINTI	"Suddenly, agents of the "
	PRINT	AGENCY
	PRINTI	" pop in using Sub-Etha belts, rough you up a bit, tell you there's no such thing as the "
	PRINT	AGENCY
	PRINTI	" and never to consult "
	PRINTD	GUIDE
	PRINTI	" about the "
	PRINT	AGENCY
	PRINTR	" again; then they leave."
?PRG18:	PRINTI	"The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry:"
	CRLF	
	CRLF	
	EQUAL?	PRSI,GUIDE \?CCL22
	PRINTD	GUIDE
	PRINTI	" is a wholly remarkable product."
	PRINT	ALREADY-KNOW-THAT
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL22:	EQUAL?	PRSI,LARGE-PLUG,SMALL-RECEPTACLE,DANGLY-BIT /?PRG29
	EQUAL?	PRSI,RED-BUTTON,GREEN-BUTTON,SMALL-PLUG \?CCL26
?PRG29:	PRINTI	"Part of"
	EQUAL?	PRSI,LARGE-PLUG \?CCL33
	IN?	LARGE-PLUG,SPARE-DRIVE /?CCL33
	ICALL2	ARTICLE,SPARE-DRIVE
	JUMP	?PRG36
?CCL33:	LOC	PRSI
	ICALL2	ARTICLE,STACK
?PRG36:	PRINTR	"."
?CCL26:	EQUAL?	PRSI,WAR-CHAMBER \?CCL39
	PRINTR	"If you have to consult the Guide about that, you're probably in serious shape. Consult a medic instead."
?CCL39:	EQUAL?	PRSI,DAMOGRAN \?CCL43
	PRINTD	DAMOGRAN
	PRINTI	" is a planet whose surface is mostly water. It is a favourite spot for Presidential dedication ceremonies"
	PRINT	ALSO-SEE
	PRINTR	"France."
?CCL43:	EQUAL?	PRSI,CLIFF \?CCL47
	PRINTI	"France is the largest landmass on the planet "
	PRINTD	DAMOGRAN
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL47:	EQUAL?	PRSI,HEART-OF-GOLD \?CCL51
	PRINTI	"There is absolutely no such spaceship as "
	PRINTD	HEART-OF-GOLD
	PRINTI	" and anything you've ever read in this spot to the contrary was just a prank.
   -- "
	PRINT	AGENCY
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL51:	EQUAL?	PRSI,POETRY \?CCL55
	PRINTD	POETRY
	PRINTI	" is so awful that even the Sarkopsi of Burphon XII, whose religion strictly forbids the taking of one's life, consider suicide a preferable alternative to a "
	PRINTD	POETRY
	PRINTR	" reading."
?CCL55:	EQUAL?	PRSI,FLEET,VOGON-CAPTAIN \?CCL59
	PRINTI	"Vogons, whose specialties are bureaucracy and planet-smashing, are the most unpleasant race in the Galaxy. They wouldn't think twice about throwing someone into space, and wouldn't lift a finger to save their own grandmother from the "
	PRINTD	BEAST
	PRINT	ALSO-SEE
	PRINTD	POETRY
	PRINTI	" and the "
	PRINTD	BEAST
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL59:	EQUAL?	PRSI,PUB,BEER \?CCL63
	PRINTI	"Alcohol, in addition to its familiar enjoyable effects, also helps cushion the shock of"
	PRINT	BEAM
	PRINTR	"s."
?CCL63:	EQUAL?	PRSI,BRIDGE \?CCL67
	PRINTI	"The best randomness generator is simple"
	PRINT	BROWNIAN
	PRINTR	". Any hot gas or liquid is a good source."
?CCL67:	EQUAL?	PRSI,GALLEY \?CCL71
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTR	" incompetently produces a wide range of inefficient and unreliable high-tech machinery. However, thanks to SCC's ruthless marketing division, this junk accounts for over 95% of the high-tech machinery sold in the Galaxy. (SCC's marketing division will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.)"
?CCL71:	EQUAL?	PRSI,PANTRY \?CCL75
	PRINTI	"Thirty million generations of philosophers have debated the definition of intelligence. The most popular definition appears in the "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTR	" android manuals: ""Intelligence is the ability to reconcile totally contradictory situations without going completely bonkers -- for example, having a stomach ache and not having a stomach ache at the same time, holding a hole without the doughnut, having good luck and bad luck simultaneously, or seeing a real estate agent waive his fee."""
?CCL75:	EQUAL?	PRSI,SCREENING-DOOR \?CCL79
	PRINTI	"These "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTI	" doors screen visitors for such qualities as intelligence and ability to time travel"
	PRINT	ALSO-SEE
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTI	", "
	PRINT	GPP
	PRINTR	", Intelligence, and Time Travel."
?CCL79:	EQUAL?	PRSI,EDDIE,MARVIN,HATCHWAY \?CCL83
	PRINT	GPP
	PRINTI	" are a misguided attempt by the "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTR	" to make their machines behave more like people. Among the more miserable failures: paranoid-depressive robots and overprotective computers."
?CCL83:	EQUAL?	PRSI,DARK \?CCL87
	PRINTR	"A must for the serious hitchhiker, peril-sensitive sunglasses darken at the first hint of danger, thus shielding the wearer from seeing anything alarming. Recommended brand: Joo Janta."
?CCL87:	EQUAL?	PRSI,RAMP \?CCL91
	PRINTI	"According to legend, Magrathea was a planet that amassed incredible wealth by manufacturing "
	PRINTD	OTHER-PLANETS
	PRINTR	". The legends also mention it as the setting of the very eagerly awaited second Infocom Hitchhiker's game."
?CCL91:	EQUAL?	PRSI,SPARE-DRIVE,MAIN-DRIVE,ENGINE-ROOM \?CCL95
	PRINTI	"Scientists have long known how to produce FINITE amounts of improbability, using a "
	PRINT	FIG
	PRINTI	", an "
	PRINTD	PLOTTER
	PRINTI	" and a good source of"
	PRINT	BROWNIAN
	PRINTI	". Recently, however, they have learned to generate INFINITE amounts, thanks to the invention of the In"
	PRINT	FIG
	PRINTI	". It is rumored that an"
	PRINT	IID
	PRINTI	", based on this new generator, is currently under development"
	PRINT	ALSO-SEE
	PRINTD	PLOTTER
	PRINTI	" and"
	PRINT	BROWNIAN
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL95:	EQUAL?	PRSI,PLOTTER \?CCL99
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	PLOTTER
	PRINTR	" is one of the primary application devices of Improbability Physics."
?CCL99:	EQUAL?	PRSI,HOLD,PEANUTS \?CCL103
	PRINTI	"Sources of protein, such as the common peanut, are carried by all serious hitchhikers. Protein loss occurs in"
	PRINT	BEAM
	PRINTR	"s and you will become groggy unless you replace it immediately."
?CCL103:	EQUAL?	PRSI,NUT-COM-INTERFACE,NUTRIMAT \?CCL107
	PRINTI	"A typically unreliable "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTI	" product, the "
	PRINTD	NUTRIMAT
	PRINTR	" analyses the user's neural paths to provide the (supposedly) ideal offering. Its computing power is frankly abysmal, so the optional computer interface is a good thing to go for."
?CCL107:	EQUAL?	PRSI,SATCHEL-FLUFF,JACKET-FLUFF,POCKET-FLUFF /?PRG114
	EQUAL?	PRSI,CUSHION-FLUFF \?CCL111
?PRG114:	PRINTR	"Fluff is interesting stuff: a deadly poison on Bodega Minor, the diet staple of Frazelon V, the unit of currency on the moons of the Blurfoid system, and the major crop of the laundry supplies planet, Blastus III.
One ancient legend claims that four pieces of fluff lie scattered around the Galaxy; each forming one quarter of the seedling of a tree with amazing properties, the sole survivor of the tropical planet Fuzzbol (Footnote 8).
The ultimate source of fluff is still a mystery, with the scientific community torn between the Big Lint Bang theory and the White Lint Hole theory."
?CCL111:	EQUAL?	PRSI,ZAPHOD /?PRG122
	EQUAL?	PRSI,ME \?CCL117
	EQUAL?	IDENTITY-FLAG,ZAPHOD \?CCL117
?PRG122:	PRINTD	ZAPHOD
	PRINTI	" is the current"
	PRINT	PRESIDENT
	PRINTR	"."
?CCL117:	EQUAL?	PRSI,BABEL-FISH \?CCL125
	PRINTI	"A mind-bogglingly improbable creature. A "
	PRINTD	BABEL-FISH
	PRINTR	", when placed in one's ear, allows one to understand any language."
?CCL125:	EQUAL?	PRSI,TOWEL \?CCL129
	PRINTR	"A towel is the most useful thing (besides the Guide) a Galactic hitchhiker can have. Its uses include travel, combat, communications, protection from the elements, hand-drying and reassurance. Towels have great symbolic value, with many associated points of honour. Never mock the towel of another, even if it has little pink and blue flowers on it. Never do something to somebody else's towel that you would not want them to do to yours. And, if you borrow the towel of another, you MUST return it before leaving their world."
?CCL129:	EQUAL?	PRSI,GUARANTEE,THUMB \?CCL133
	PRINTI	"The Electronic Sub-Etha Auto Hitching Thumb is a wonderful thing, but should not be mistreated. If used while a ship is near, you will be transported there. If no ship is in the vicinity, you will place a heavy strain on the Thumb's logic circuits, which could lead to malfunction. The Thumb carries the usual "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTI	" lifetime "
	PRINTD	GUARANTEE
	PRINTR	"s."
?CCL133:	EQUAL?	PRSI,MINERAL-WATER \?CCL137
	PRINTR	"A strong body of opinion holds that this is not water at all, despite the claims on the label about how pure the spring is, and all that tosh about sparkling babbling brooks and so on. There is something highly suspect about the water on Santraginus Five, as anyone who's ever met any of their fish will tell you."
?CCL137:	EQUAL?	PRSI,BEAST \?CCL141
	PRINTI	"The "
	PRINTD	BEAST
	PRINTR	" is a mind-bogglingly stupid animal. It has almost no capacity for learning from experience and is therefore surprised by virtually everything that happens to it. Here is an example of how stupid it is: it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you.
Its behaviour would be quite endearing if it wasn't spoilt by this one thing: it is the most violently carnivorous creature in the Galaxy. Avoid, avoid, avoid."
?CCL141:	EQUAL?	PRSI,FRONT-PORCH \?CCL145
	PRINTI	"A thoroughly unpleasant means of travelling which involves tearing you apart in one place and slamming you back together in another. (Of course, it's better than the older method, where disassembled people would be transmitted down phone lines and arrive in a garbled and sometimes completely disconnected state.) You should have a drink or two or three before going through one"
	PRINT	ALSO-SEE
	PRINTR	"Galaxia Woonbeam, Alcohol and Protein."
?CCL145:	EQUAL?	PRSI,FRONT-OF-HOUSE \?CCL149
	PRINTR	"Galaxia Woonbeam is the author of ""Slimmer's Guide to Weightloss During Matter Disassembly Transition."" This text is currently the subject of the biggest suit for criminal negligence damages in history and is unavailable at this time."
?CCL149:	EQUAL?	PRSI,ENTRY-BAY \?CCL153
	PRINTR	"The best drink in existence; somewhat like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."
?CCL153:	EQUAL?	PRSI,MAZE,THIRD-PLANET \?CCL157
	PRINTR	"Mostly harmless."
?CCL157:	EQUAL?	PRSI,COUNTRY-LANE \?CCL161
	PRINT	SPACE-TEXT
	CRLF	
	RTRUE	
?CCL161:	FSET?	PRSI,TOOLBIT \?CCL165
	PRINTR	"The editor responsible for entries under this heading has been out to lunch for a couple of years but is expected back soon, at which point there will be rapid updates. Until then, don't panic, unless your situation is really a life or death one, in which case, sure, go ahead, panic."
?CCL165:	EQUAL?	PRSI,BLASTER,RIFLES,BEDROOM /?PRG174
	EQUAL?	PRSI,BEAST-GUN,NO-TEA,TEA /?PRG174
	EQUAL?	PRSI,AIRLOCK,AFT-CORRIDOR,SUBSTITUTE /?PRG174
	EQUAL?	PRSI,INSIDE-WHALE \?PRG176
?PRG174:	PRINTR	"Sorry, that portion of our Sub-Etha database was accidentally deleted last night during a wild office party. The lost data will be restored as soon as we find someone who knows where the back-up tapes are kept, if indeed any are kept at all."
?PRG176:	PRINTR	"That is one of the Great Unanswered Questions. For a list of the others, consult the Guide."


	.FUNCT	CANT-SEE,OBJ
	PRINTI	"You can't see"
	CALL2	NAME?,OBJ
	ZERO?	STACK \?CND3
	PRINTI	" any"
?CND3:	EQUAL?	OBJ,PRSO \?CCL9
	ICALL1	PRSO-PRINT
	JUMP	?PRG10
?CCL9:	ICALL1	PRSI-PRINT
?PRG10:	PRINTI	" here."
	CRLF	
	CALL1	FUCKING-CLEAR
	RSTACK	


	.FUNCT	TELL-ME-HOW
	PRINTI	"You must tell me how to do that to"
	ICALL2	ARTICLE,PRSO
	PRINTR	"."


	.FUNCT	OUT-OF-FIRST,VEHICLE
	PRINTI	"You'll have to get out of the "
	PRINTD	VEHICLE
	PRINTR	" first."


	.FUNCT	PRIVATE,STRING
	PRINTI	"You can't. It's not yours. It's "
	PRINT	STRING
	PRINTR	"'s and it's private."


	.FUNCT	NOT-VERY-GOOD,STRING
	PRINTI	"It's not a very good "
	PRINT	STRING
	PRINTR	", is it?"


	.FUNCT	FACTOR,STRING
	PRINTI	" at an improbability factor of 2 to the "
	PRINT	STRING
	PRINTI	"th power to 1 against."
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	REMOVING-BIT
	PRINTI	"(removing the "
	PRINTD	DANGLY-BIT
	PRINTR	" first)"


	.FUNCT	PART-OF
	PRINTI	"You can't --"
	ICALL	ARTICLE,PRSO,TRUE-VALUE
	PRINTI	" is an integral part of"
	LOC	PRSO
	ICALL	ARTICLE,STACK,TRUE-VALUE
	PRINTR	"."


	.FUNCT	BUT-THAT-MAN,STRING
	PRINTI	"Pointing toward Prosser, "
	PRINT	STRING
	PRINTI	", ""But that man "
	ZERO?	HOUSE-DEMOLISHED /?PRG8
	PRINTI	"just knocked"
	JUMP	?PRG10
?PRG8:	PRINTI	"wants to knock"
?PRG10:	PRINTI	" my house down!"""
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	CUSHION
	PRINTI	" cushion your system against the coming shock of the"
	PRINT	BEAM
	PRINTC	46
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	FINE-PRODUCT
	PRINTI	" It bears a small label which reads ""Another fine product of the "
	PRINT	SCC
	PRINTI	"."""
	RTRUE	


	.FUNCT	MAKE-WAY-FOR
	PRINTI	" a "
	PRINTD	FLEET
	PRINTR	" unexpectedly arrives and demolishes the Earth to make way for a new hyperspace bypass."


	.FUNCT	OWN-FEET
	PRINTR	"You are now on your feet."

	.ENDI